Tilt

I sat in the room and went over the figures.

I'd lost 400 in VP and won 100 in BJ. That put my trip losses at a respectable -555. I had one full day left in Vegas, plus the morning of my flight home. I could easily hit the -1000 mark if I had another bad day of video poker.

I did some blogging and finished that up.

I smiled warmly at the thought of Norbert trying to clean industrial-grade heavy grease off of his girly-nipples.

And I thought... there's a crap games just 8 floors below your room. You could be there in one minute. When do you ever have the chance to just go an play craps?

And I thought... I some day want to live in a Vegas hotel.

And I thought... fuck it. I grabbed $300 from my stash and headed downstairs.

Well, the craps was a bust. Everytime I got something going, I got wiped off. I had that feeling of desperation, I needed a win. And scared money never wins.

I seesawed between my $100 buy-in and $50. I'd claw back, get up, get it on the felt and lose it.

Finally I just walked away, down 50 clams.

I carefully tried $20 in a VP machine. Nothing. Found some other game, put $20 in. Got four to a Royal. Would this be the moment the trip turned into a winning one? Nothing.

Tried $20 in Giant's Gold so I could hear the Fee Fi Fo Fum bonus round song. Nothing. No song.

Okay, so blackjack had been good to me, I took my $50 in chips and played blackjack. And of course, everything went wrong.

Took my last few chips and tried roulette, trying to capture the magic of that win the other day. In my head I'm thinking, "Why are you doing this? Stop! You know you are going to lose." And my head was right (for a change).

I was in the process of polishing the end of my trip to a stinking shitty lustre.

I needed - NEEDED - a big hand, a big turnaround. I knew I was on tilt and headed for a -700 day without it.

In my head I rehearsed how I would tell Mrs. Flusher about my big win, how I would blog about it, how there would be paperwork and tips to pay and music playing and how smart and smug and relieved I'd feel when it happened. Because I had just slipped $100 in to Double Double Bonus and was playing $5 a hand.

Well, of course I was dealt 3 Aces twice and didn't get it. Dealt lots of 3s of a kind that I didn't get. It was all over in the traditional honeymoon night 7 minutes.

I was well and truly on tilt.

The last of my cash, $20 I think, went into yet another machine. I knew the feeling. It would be triumph, or most likely, a depressed slinking back to the room to curse at myself.

Play quarter Bonus Poker. It's safe. You could get on a run of hands. Stay away from the high-octanes stuff. Make the smart play.

I punched up 50-cent Double Double Bonus and started playing.

Played it down. Last hand, got something. Last hand, got a full house. THANK YOU. Can still play. Kept playing... Hey, a quad!!! Now I've got some running room with $140 on the meter. I should cash out at $100, cut my losses. Get to $100. I'll cash out at $80. Get to $80. One more hand. Win. Work it back up to $110. I should cash out at $100, cut my losses. Get to $100. Keep playing. I'll cash out at $80. Cut my losses. Just a couple more hands, get back up to $100...

Held two deuces. Ding ding ding. Got two more deuces and the kicker. Oh fuck, YEAH! Saved my night, improved my day, by Norberts greased balls, it was a wonderful moment.

I'd left my phone in the room and by the time I got it back down to the machine, the hand was played off by some 18 year old with a one dollar cashout ticket. So no picture.

But I do have this:

Oh sweet redemption. I pulled it from the fire. I'd eradicated my losses for the tilt session, and most of my losses for the day.

And here's the numbers for my penultimate, and bonus, day:

VP: day (-120) trip (-1370)
BJ: day +50 trip +430
Craps: day -50 day +565

Trip total: (-375)

Down $375 after 10 days with one and a bit more to go. I breathed a sign of relief, wrapped my pork in some leaves for the night, and went to bed.