New year, so many changes...
First of all, I'm really excited to tell you that I've decided to bring on one guest blogger in 2013.
His trip write-ups make me laugh out loud. I've gotten pulled over numerous times alone in the 86 Tercel just thinking about them and laughing, all by myself.
The very first guest blog trip report will be coming very soon - like, some number of days. Which could be a pretty small number, or a pretty big number. But its days, believe me.
I know you will really enjoy his trip report, so c'mon back around and check for it in the coming, well, you know, days.
Now the second bit of business.
I have been doing some sleuthing around North American Veeblefetzer. I could tell that that milque-toast toady Norbert was up to no good when a rented limo pulled up the other day.
Norbert flounced his way out to the limo, Big Bertha 3-wood in hand (since he was just in from hitting golf balls off the employees cars in parking lot #6), and gave his Magnum P.I. porn-stache a tweek, and helped a limo-full of Belgians, who looked typically pesky, out of the 42 foot long car.
He gave them his typical slab of uncooked halibut granny-shake one after the other.
I have nothing against the Belgians.
I love their waffles. They perfected the art of having a waffle with oversize holes. Those suckers are butter/syrup crevasses.
But these Belgians were in suits. And looked officious. And looked at the plant, the surroundings, the roof, everything - on the way in to the executive offices of the grommet factory where I work cranking out Size 77 Euro metric grommets.
And the next thing, another limo pulled up. Norbert hiked up his skin tight vintage beltless Gloria Vanderbilts so that his package protruded even more than usual (think, two rolls of gym socks and a couple of kiwis) and greeted a limo-full of South Koreans, distinguished by the light scent of kimchee on their breath. (I was downwind of these jokers.)
That night I confessed my deepest darkest fears to the Quad Queen, who works in the Estimatin' Department.
"Quad queen, I have to confess my deepest darkest fears..." I said gravely.
"You think you might have a thing for Richard Simmons???"
"No, something deeper and darker and worse than that."
"Well?... what is it?"
"I think that Norbert is selling out North American Veeblefetzer to an international consortium," I said. My face was stone.
"Good God!!!! Not the pesky Belgians and the crafty South Koreans!!!!!"
"I think so."
"That's not actually worse than having a thing for Richard Simmons."
Well it turns out that Mrs. Flusher was asked to pretty much spend the entire day hunched over the Xerox 3100-X Docu-Spew Paper Pro copier, churning out ream after ream of legalese...
"I can't really tell you what the contracts said, but the words 'purchase of North American Veeblefetzer' figured strongly in all of them," she warned.
We talked about it more, and what it would mean for us if they sold off, or worse, shut down, the plant.We talked about it more, and what it would mean for us if they sold off, or worse, shut down, the plant.
One thing is for certain - tomorrow is promised to no-one. Even if that no-one is a grommet plant in Flusherville, Ontario.One thing is for certain - tomorrow is promised to no-one. Even if that no-one is a grommet plant in Flusherville, Ontario.
You could set up a small factory to stich some royal flusher toilet seat covers and towel sets.
ReplyDeleteOr you could become a street performer in vegas or Sell kegs of beer and womens pantyhose out of the trunk of your car. no worries.