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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Cocaine St. Cafe

After sleeping in late, I made coffee in the room.

We upgraded to God Club status when we checked in here to the Smug Nugget's Posh Tower and apparently that includes free k-cups to use in the coffee maker, free internet, and free bottled water, all for a hefty additional fee.

They also have a little table of snacks and things in the foyer, which is a nice touch. I've eaten about six pounds of Glossette Raisins in the last 28 hours. I've eaten so many of them that my body no longer processes them - glossettes in, glossettes out.

After blogging, swallowing a few handfuls of those wonderful Glossettes, and having a bunch of coffee, I turned the TV on and saw a great-looking ad.

"I think we should go on one of those cruises some time."

For some reason, the Quad Queen was not that keen on the idea.

"It's just a floating hotel on the water with tiny rooms and Norwalk everywhere and if the engine breaks, you're all fucked," she said.

"I sense you are not that keen on the idea."

I thought about it some more... there should be some pretty sweet deals on cruises about now.

"Really," I said, "you could get the same effect if you just built a hotel on a barge and had some tugboats take it around. That way you wouldn't have to worry about the engines going south, because there's always tugs around."

I thought about it some more.

"Maybe cruise ships don't really go anywhere. Maybe the different little islands come to you and the ship stays stationary. I mean, how would you know? You wake up in the morning and look out the porthole or something and it's 'Oh look, Jamaica is here!'"

As long as our luck holds in Vegas, I think cruises are probably a longshot.

After a solid work-week of partying, gambling and winning, we were starting to get a bit tired out so we didn't even hit the casino until after noon.

We had some business to do at the Four Queens (check out, get a lunch comp, get our couple of meals charged to the room covered by the host). So we did all that. And we hit the Golden Nugget dollar video poker.

It's short pay Bonus but the best to be found here in that denomination. We live with it.

I lost $200 in short order and Mrs. F broke even. Okay, so sometimes I die with it too.

Mrs. F had $50 free play with the room offer so she played that out. Didn't get anything to keep from it.

We stepped it down to the quarter Bonus Poker by the 69 bar. The sign says '46' but I know what they meant. So Mrs. Flusher hit Aces for $100 and another quad and I .... lost.


So now I'm down $300. Where are my Royals Flush??? What's going on???!!!

We went on walkabout to check a keno ticket and played some Double Double at Binions. We had to clear some cobwebs off the machine. I hope they get that place sorted sometime soon, get the casino so you want to actually play there and get the hotel back in service. Either that or sell it to someone who can.

I wouldn't be surprised if the D people snapped it up at some point if they're renovations work. Which I think they will.

I hit nothing and Mrs. F hit a couple of quads. Seeing a pattern here?...





Those quads were one minute apart by the way. We got up to head to the Cal.

"You think I won anything on my keno ticket?" I asked.

There was a long pause.

"Uh... no."

The keno lady scanned the ticket and the screen came alight with the throbbing electronic surprise excitement characters stating I was: "WINNER $2.00"

I said to the keno lady, "Why do I keep playing this game???!!!!!"

There was a long pause.

"I have no idea," she said.

We played a bit there to no effect other than adding to the Cal's bottom line.

We checked back at the Four Queens and snagged another $20 Magnolia's comp for lunch/supper/breakfast. I had the old reliable (CFSETUG) and Mrs. F had a Cobb salad.

I needed some assistance from The Mikes so we hit up the Mikes Bar in the 'Queens and we got the drinks going and the Double Double pounding.



The Quad Queen hit Jacks and then threes. And by some miracle I hit eights.

"Now all I need is to knock off a big one," I exclaimed.


QQ gestured over her shoulder. "The restrooms are back there."

Nothing much else happened of note and we headed back to the Posh Tower where I decided to win back all my money playing $10 a hand blackjack.

I bought in for a hundred and played it down pretty quickly. Won a few hands, then played it down and finally went all in with my last $10. Dealt 11. Dealer showed a 10.

And wouldn't you know it, all I had on me was a hundred. So I had to buy in so as to cover the double. I HAD to, I tells ya, HAD to.

Did I mention the CWs kept the Absolut coming?... I won the hand and went up to about $140 but the table got cold again.

It took about an hour but the $200 all went away except $25.

BeeeJay style I hit up the 17 on roulette - three $5 spins and $10 on the last one. Fittingly the little ball spundered its way into Double Zero. I was tapped out.

Down $100 over my stake of $400. That would be down $500, then.

I sulked my way back to the room and poured some drinks from the room bottle while Mrs. F tried to relax and watch some TV. I paced around like a caged cat. A caged beautiful feline big cat, once majestic and reigning over its catdom and now caged, caged and down $500, with empty cat pockets and a hunger to win in its cat gut.

Hello Kitty my ass.

So what did I do? The smart thing is to retire for the night, enjoy the Posh Room, maybe try to find the legendary but hidden (to me) VIP lounge that we're supposed to get access to. I've heard it is more than a rumour, it is supposed to really exist. I have no idea at all where to find it.

So did I do that?

Did I?

Yes. Yes I did. I relaxed in the room for all of about 5.38294848 seconds, then leapt up, opened the safe, and stuffed a few hundred in to my wallet.

"I'm going to play quarter BP and THAT's IT. No more dollars. No more 'lucky' slots. Just safe BP."

I took the elevator down, determined, and spotted some 'lucky' slots. $20 lasted a while, actually.

Then $20 in dollar VP. Uh oh.

Okay, so I then executed my plan, and you know what? I hit a bunch of quads. Five of 'em, over the course of two hours or so. Now, I did burn through $60 doing it, so no win, but at least I got some playing time and a bunch of MGBs. (Miller Genuine Beers. Well, that's what I call 'em anyway.)

The Quad Queen joined me for a spell and it didn't really go that well.

As a last, last, last, last, last, LAST gasp, we decided to do one more hundred (for me) in the dollar VP by the cage. I felt nervous going near another cage, but whatever.

On the way there, I followed two women, probably in their thirties, looked like the party type, dressed up, and tripping over walkers. Yes, one of them hooked a walker (not like walking a hooker) and I assisted by putting it back in place.

The blonde looked back at me and said thanks.

"I hope I don't run into any more walkers," she said.

"If you do that again, you're gonna need one."

We reached the machines and the two of them stopped and sort of looked around and came over to me.

"Maybe you can help, do you work here?...oh, you don't."

"Well, I have a nice red shirt on, so I look like I work here, maybe I can help you."

The Other one said, "We need food. Food!! Do you know where we can get food?!"

"And some cocaine," the blonde added.

"Wow." I nodded my head and smiled an RFW smile.

"She's kidding.... okay, she's actually not kidding."

"I'm not," said blonde.

"Wow." I nodded my head and smiled another RFW smile.

"Well we do need food..." The Other one glanced at the blonde. They both looked pretty wound up.

"Head over that direction at an angle, and then past the front desk and lobby and keep going. You'll find the Carson St. Cafe and hopefully a good source of... you know." I winked.

Well, we finally got to play our dollars. Of course she won and of course I lost.

The Quad Queen hit deuces for 200 beans.


We went back up to the room. I was down $700 on the day. What a shitty fucking day. And I was drunk. And wobbly. And stumbling a bit. And hungry as hell. We'd had no dinner. And I didn't know where to get the drunk walker hooking ladies any cocaine.

I poured a traveller and headed out. Back to where it was safe - the Cal.

Yes, I abandoned the Posh Tower for the Cal coffee shop counter. I'm not sure I'm cut out for the Ways of the Posh. I wouldn't belong in the VIP lounge, if it existed, and if I could even find it.


It was pushing 11:00pm and I could get one of the graveyard specials - the Oxtail Soup. I'd had the stew before but never the soup and I had to ask what to do with the ginger and cilantro. (Mostly I just dumped it in the soup.) But one of the servers gave me a little bowl and said helpfully that I could put some cilantro in there and some ginger in there and mix it with some soy sauce ,which she helpfully placed in front of me.



I moved my wobbly hands to put some ginger and some cilantro in the little bowl and she told me again "you put some soy in there..."

So I did.

"But then what?"

"Mix it. You mix it."

"Yes, I mix it but then what do I do with it???"

"Mix. Ginger good for stomach."

"Yes. And then I do... what with it exactly?"

"You can put the rice on the spoon and have the soup in it. Ginger good for stomach."

"Okay, and the little bowl thingy? I do .... what with that????....."

I gave up. She left and I dumped the bowl contents into the soup, which was the most amazing drunk meal EVER. It was so so so so so good.

On the way out, I happened to notice, out of the corner of my eye, a nice little dollar Boner Deluxe machine. One little quad, I thought, would be $400.

You are probably thinking, "No! No flushie, don't do it!"

And you are thinking, "Yes! Do it flushie, do it, get a quad, win back your money, and save the trip!"

Oh yeah, I did it all right. Played it down to $35. Played it down to $5. On my Lazarus hand I got three of a kind. Played it down to $5. On my Lazarus hand got two pair. On my Lazarus hand got three of a kind. What the fuck. Played it down to $5. On my Lazarus hand got.... full house.

Yes.

Then a dealt straight.

YES!

And I worked that sucker up to $135. Reprieved!

And then I did it all over again, except on the Lazarus hand, it was done.

Royal Flusher on the day, -$800. On the trip, plus $2255 (I know, right, holy crap!!!)

Quad Queen on the day, even steven. On the trip, plus $1760.

Combined, up on the trip $4,015. That's a lot of Oxtail Soup.





    7 comments:

    1. Another entertaining segment. Check your email for an e-mail from Janis Kuykendall. thanks

      ReplyDelete
    2. The Oxtail Soup is amazing, isn't it? Don't feel too bad about your losses today, you're still having a hell of a trip, and now you've discovered Oxtail Soup. I get a bowl of that every trip! And if if makes you feel better, I just dump the ginger (mostly) and cilantro into the soup too. Maybe an actual Hawaian will comment and educate us.

      ReplyDelete
    3. And that is the royal flush-er away....Oh well I hope it was a fun -$800 day....it sure has to still beat a day working at the veebelizer plant and you 2 are still kicking some arse...more savvy gambooling tomorrow & more stories soon I hope-J

      ReplyDelete
    4. How do you get 271 credits?

      ReplyDelete
    5. I assume he hit a progressive for an odd amount on the machine. That, or he started playing without max coin. Is that the new RFW?

      ReplyDelete
    6. 271 credits.... The quads are progressives and usually do not hit in increments of five

      ReplyDelete

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