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Saturday, March 2, 2013

Finish Strong or Finish Long - The Home Stretch

Reposted from the classic 2013 Victory Trip.

Mar 2, 2013 - I'm not sure what the title means but we're in the home stretch now on the Victory Trip. It's been two solid weeks of button-pounding jaw-dropping bra-hefting eye-searing pant-pooping video poker action and so far, we are on track to have the best trip ever, in terms of the financials. In terms of the vacation, it's by far the B.T.E.

There are two factors here - we're tiring and our focus and desire is slipping. We don't have the raw hunger we had two weeks ago. And secondly, there's the big Wheel of Fortune that seems to guide our lives - the ups and downs of gambling...

There will (generally) be ups and there will (generally) be downs. To a degree, where you are in the cycle when you get off the ride has a big say in how you end up.

We're up a chunk now but we could easily have a couple or three bad days and play it all back before we get a chance at the upside again. Because Air Fuckyou Canada does not have keno or any other gambling on board - unless gambling with your life counts.

So where are we today?... It's check out day at both T.I. and the Mirage. Mrs. Flusher headed over after another night that started with her falling asleep and then having the crap scared out of her when the Possessed TV started raising up and down on its own.

She unplugged it this time and found a nest of wires right under the bed. We are suspicious that it is actual bed pressure on the wires making it do this. One can only wonder what the TV up and down scenario is when some hipster club-goers with their light sticks and Mirage pacifiers and nouveau chic reissue bell bottoms and $900 piPhone 3.14s start making humpity hump in Lucky Suite Ee-o Eleven.

Anyway, its a time to stay focused on the gambling and not get laissez-faire or any other kind of faire for that matter, about the gambling results, games, or denominations. (INSERT FORESHADOWING HERE).

And so it was that we took in some civilized morning play in the heavily scented environs of the T.I. casino.

T.I. seems to have gone overboard with the scent in the air - its so thick you can practically taste it and it feels heavy in my lungs to the point that I may have to give up cigars and/or consider whether I really want to play in that environment. I will be 'rapping' with the T.I. 'brass' about this, via a customer feedback spam email I got upon checkout. I'm sure they will want to know what the R.F.W. is on this score.

Where was I? And so it was that we took in some civilized blah blah blah on 50 cent Bonus Poker. I set the stage for a successful day with a quad, and QQ followed up with a straight flush (of which I still have naught on this trip - very unsavvy!).

T.I. Video Poker

Side by Side Video Poker Winners

The T.I. room offer came with coupons for, amongst other things, a two for $12 breakfast thingy - 3 eggs and accoutrements per breakfast. That's half a dozen eggs for only $12!!!! We opted to sit outside on one of the nicest mornings we've seen so far this trip. It really was pleasant. The fact that there were no distractions, no music blaring, no slot machines yelling at us or dinging incessantly made it as idyllic as half a dozen Grade A Large cackleberries can be.

T.I. Pool

T.I. Pool Breakfast

Would you believe I whipped my pants off and took a quick plunge in the still, unoccupied pool?

Good. Because I didn't. But I wanted to.

Instead, I took a plunge on a $5 slot. Behold!
$5 Slot Play

 Yes, made $150. Everything was going to be as perfect and calm and soothing as that poolside breakfast (with potato pellets).

I checked with the slot club staff regarding taking any meals off my bill - not that there were many. They gave me some interesting information. They wanted to see 3700 points a day to cover the room comp. I had something like 3200 total. On the video poker I played most of, its $15 a point - but on slots its $2.50 a point.

Long story short, they didn't cover any additional food but I bet a host would have, based on our $18,000 in coin-in (over two days). That's fairly strong play. Having said that, we won at T. I. And, there was only about $40 in food charges anyway.

I didn't argue and we got the car out of the T.I. car park, cranked up the Mexican Polka station, and hit the road - about 45 yards to the Mirage car park.

Sadly, we didn't hear the elusive yet catchy 'Beep Beep Beep' song.

Okay, it's as tiring to write this as do it - go to Penthouse, get stuff, check out, haul shit downstairs, out to car, drive to gas station, fill car, hope to hear elusive, catchy 'Beep Beep Beep' song, don't, drop bags at Cal, haul ass to Four Queens, dump the car, poach wifi and upload pics, haul ass (on feet) back to Cal, up to stinky room at the very, very end of the very, very long hallway.

Make a couple of strong drinks, down them, make a couple more, and hit the dollar Treasure Chest in search of quads.

I had a great run:
Treasure Chest Video Poker

...but the Quad Queen had a terrible time. In fact, she not only did not find the little Hello Kitty talisman to be lucky, she started to think it was bringing a curse on her. And she sullied the poor plastic Hello Kitty thing, dumping her in the gambling equivalent of the gutter.

Treasure Chest Video Poker

 (Don't worry, I rescued Goodbye Abandoned Kitty.)

I'd run out of traveler, so I ordered a Maker's from the very saucy Brazilian cocktail waitress. She's so saucy that I overheard some guy chatting her up who claimed to be from South America just so he could pretend they had something in common.

He told her his name was Rio Dinero. I may adopt that as my new gambling nom-de-plume. Beep beep beep!

Lunch, Cal coffee shop. No food p0rn here folks. Chicken Adobo which I've been wanting to try. 'Adobo' means 'cooked in salt brine for 9 hours'. QQ faired better with the 'Cheeseburger de Luxe'.

Chicken Adobo

Market Street Cafe Cheeseburger

 Back to the gambling - I'd played an hour on $20 on those dollar T.C. machines, but the QQ had lost $200. We kicked around, I won $80 playing blackjack (I know, shocking!), and the QQ did KKKK. OK!!

We took a rest and a nap and this is where it started to go dodgy.

Played some stuff, didn't get much was down $160 or so.

Did $100 in the couples Wheel of Meat machine at $10 a spin. We got basically nothing.
I put $40 in to the loose Flaming Red Hot Frying Sevens machine... lost it.

The Hand of Stupid reached into my wallet, pulled out $100 and put THAT into the Flaming Red Hot Frying Sevens machine. And played it down to about $10 so... I was almost down $400 on the day, just like that. Stupid dollar machines!
7 7 7 Flaming Sevens

 Oh wait. 777 for $300? Yes please!!!! Just like that, the difference between being down $100 and being down $400. It was like starting all over again. This time I'd be careful right?


We both felt kind of out of the groove and Mrs. F couldn't get it going and finally just bailed, going to the room.

I thought she was down quite a bit and thought I'd have to get it back. Yeah...

I relaxed with a long session of blackjack, going from $100 up to about $230. Not bad. Too bad I cashed out at $40. This went into some machine.

And so did another $100, playing Double Double Bonus at 50 cents a hand. I did hit a quad so upped it to a dollar a hand. And lost it all back.

So I took another hundred. You know, I really wanted to try to win some really big wins this trip - so I chose this moment above all other moments to play it on $2 double double - $10 a hand.

Needless to say, it all went away and fast. No big win. No big hand. I went up to the room feeling like shite.

If I kept this up, and Mrs. F. had bad luck like she'd had today, for the next two days.... we could blow through all our winnings.

I thought about this thoroughly and carefully, reflected on it all - for 3 to 4 minutes. And came to the conclusion that I was so tired after two weeks that I kind of got tired of playing. And thought Win Big or Lose but do it fast.


This is a recipe for disaster, in my case a $600 disaster and turning a winning day into a loser. Will I never learn?!

We had a quick dinner, again in the coffee shop on points. I had a grilled cheese, and QQ opted for.... another cheeseburger. Meanwhile, our room stinks even worse and is still at the very, very end of a very, very long hallway. We think its either spilled milk or, in QQs opinion, baby vomit.

I say there isn't much difference.

Royal Flusher down $600 on the day. up $2365 on the trip.
Quad Queen down (only) $210 on the day, $955 on the trip.
Combined, up $3,320 on the trip.

Can we hang on for a couple more days????


    1. Why do you have a need to clutter up the forum with low-roller, basically uninteresting and overall poorly written drivel?

      1. Really? This is one of the best reports I have read. Well written and funny.

    2. Glad to be along for the ride with you, RF!

      There is a prayer for the RFW and it works.

    3. Replies
      1. I like it!!! Keep'em comin!!!!!

    4. My guess.... so us other driveling low-rollers can enjoy!

    5. Really enjoying ur stories. Thx

    6. You said you poached wifi at the Four Queens and I was wondering where since I stay there a lot. Thanks for the reports.

    7. Is this your "beep beep beep" song?

      1. It's funny, we happened to identify the beep beep beep song just last week! I had a 7 second video shot in the car and was able to use Shazam to figure it out.

        It's El Viejo del Sombreron by Sonora Dinamita. I believe 'El Viejo del Sombreron' translatest to 'gratuitous shaking of the slutty asses'.

        The beep beep beep part starts around 2:30.

    8. Love the blog -- great stories told in an entertaining way.


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