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Friday, August 16, 2013

How to Stay Free in Vegas - Part 4 - The Comp Formula



Well, the moneytization of the blog is kind of in a kerfuffle right now. During lunch at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer here in Flusherville, ON, where I have spent decades punching out perfectly round size 7 grommets with holes in them for Norbert, the boss with the perfectly round grommet shaped head with a hole in it, I sat down with the guys off the grommet line.
Everyone wanted to know about the upcoming trip. But first, I had some questions for Jimmy Poon, the brains behind the R.F.W. website, my own P.h.D with the elf-like giggle.

"Jimmy, what is going on with the moneytization?"

Jimmy ate a forkful of some sort of curry stir-fry out of a beaten-up tupperware container. I'd seen him eat out of that same container for the last 3,019 consecutive lunches.

"Royal Flusher, take it easy. I'm working with the Big Boys to try to get this sorted. We'll have more pennies rolling in from the blog soon, hopefully in time for your trip!" and he laughed his little elfin giggle-laugh through a mouthful of chewed up tupper-curry.

"Hey Royal," said Kenny Blankenship, he of the missing earlobes, a testament to safety here at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer.

"Yeah, Kenny?" I replied articulately.

"How the fuck can you afford to go to Vegas all the time. Last time I went I lost my whole bankroll in two days and I had to beg the wife for some dough to play penny slots with, just to keep the drinks coming."

"Kenny, don't you read the blog? I've been laying it all out there!"

Kenny looked at me with the grommet factory equivalent of 'sad puppy' eyes.

"Oh, okay, okay...." I said.

I took a drink of my Mr. Pibb.

"It all started back... way back when Vegas was young, and so were we..."

Jimmy Poon shifted in his chair to face me, and Kenny leaned in. The others formed a circle, some sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me. Someone started roasting a marshmallow on a stir-stick.

And I told them some of the things I've learned about being a cheapskate in Vegas.

Jimmy Poon liked hearing it so much, he gave it its own page on Royal Flusher World.





    1 comment:

    1. Where's the advertisements so I can help "monetize" you! We're taking our first trip to Laughlin in 2 months, after 10 Vegas trips. Any tips for us? Total Retardwards did give us 3 free nights at their Laughlin establishment.

      ReplyDelete

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