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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Kicker, Kicker, It's All About The Kicker!

Day dawned brightly, as it always does, because if it isn't bright yet, it isn't dawn yet. I surveyed the view from my suite at Encore and thought 'Today is a day for Gambling and stupid Web Conferences'.

One of the perks of a superior hotel/casino such as the EnWynn is that you can get things like cappuccino from the CWs. I ordered one up and started playing quarter Bonus Poker, and when it arrived, asked that she bring another forthwith.

I was so pleased to get free cappuccino that I tipped $2 for each of them. I had breakfast at the machine, one of those health bars I brought from Costco. It's basically compressed bird seed, but not as tasty.

I was feeling pretty burned from last night. having jumped on the stupid train and lost a chunk of change. As a result, I gingerly tried quarter ddb first. It makes a difference if you press the buttons gingerly - no machine likes to be man-handled, unless it is 'that way'.

After 300 hands, I'd lost $40 and had no quads (or Royals!) to show for it.

No worries, the day was young.

It was time for some of Norbert's stupid Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer Web Conferences: "Stating the Obvious Repeatedly - a Guide to Narcoleptic PowerPoint Slides".

Followed by "Profit! No Longer a Four-Letter Word!".

Since it was time to pack up all my gear, I packed up all my gear. I thought I'd give the casino one more go-round and got a couple of nice Double Double Quads, the returns from which I played out on 50-cent Double Double.

Being cautious, I dropped back to quarters for quite a while and on a whim, decided not to be as cautious - I bumped it up to 50 cents and four hands later got me Ace, Ace, Ace and another Ace (but no kicker! which would have really put my budget over the top.)

Since I now had a surplus, I thought it would be good to gingerly try dollar Bonus Poker, that low volatility mainstay. Put $20 in, lose, change machines. Put $20 in, lose, change machines. Put $20 in, lose, change machines. Put $20 in, play that high volatility mainstay, DDB. Win a bit. Get dealt three Aces. Now, this could be a $2000 score if I get four of 'em with the kicker. And I didn't.

But I did get this: 

At the slot club booth I enquired about a comped lunch or maybe some stuff taken off my bill. They want 21,000 points on 3 night comp before issuing additional comps. On VP at $6 a point, that is $126,000 coin in. That's a lot for a quarter player. That's 84,000 hands, or, at 400 hands an hour, 210 hours of play. Even on dollars you are looking at 52.5 hours of play. Do they think I'm Mr. Some Rich Guy???

I also confirmed that the reason Mrs. Flusher gets all these great offers with room nights and free play and I get crap, is that our cards our linked. And only one linked player gets the offers. So, she unlinked the cards. Now maybe we can double-dip on 3 night offers... we'll see!

Driving out of the complex, I thought I'd head east to Paradise or something to find some lunch - I was starving. I got 100 yards down the road and spotted the Peppermill. I put the rental gingerly onto two wheels and hard-abouted into the parking lot. It was on my list to try this place, which has been a mainstay low-volatility restaurant since 1972.

Flusher Ceiling Selfie at the Peppermill
I was pretty delighted with the decor. The service was loud and overly-friendly, to the point of discomfort, but it beats the alternative. The Maserati omelette was the size of a football, with meat sauce on top, and a wicked greasy good hashbrowns 'n onions on the side. Came with a bagel and cream cheese. $12.95.

I loved the Peppermill, and they even have a souvenir photo service.

The pictures are free but there are upsell frames and better versions you can purchase. I listened to a very sad exchange which featured patrons trying to wheedle better pictures for free from the photographer, who is in this not just out of the goodness of her heart. The logic went, predictably, well you are just going to throw these pictures out, so instead give them to us for free.

Good Lord, don't be such cheapasses!

Feeling bad about it, I had an idea, and called her over. She'd take a souvenir photo for me, and I'd throw 5 bucks her way. Dealio.

I think it turned out rather well, don't you?

Support the Arts! Get your picture taken at the Peppermill!
Some shopping at Fry's netted all kinds of discount electronics, including some noise cancelling headphones for Mrs. Flusher. (Which have to go back, because in the end, I picked up the non-noise cancelling version. Dammit!)

I love Fry's - I could probably spend days in there. They have... everything. And I got really great customer service from a friendly young woman in the Telco department, who I regaled with tales of turntables and vinyl records. She delightfully refrained from yawning while I was blabbering on about God knows what. There was just no rumble, wow, or flutter in this lady's world.

Valet was swift at MGM, as was check-in - as a valued Gold level MILFE degenerate, I got to skip the cattle-call line at registration.

Sadly, there were issues with the room. I called housekeeping to get them resolved. I don't want to dwell on it, but I did have a positive experience dealing with Denise, the housekeeping quality boss. She happened to pick my room for a random inspection just about the time I was on the phone with the front desk. I observed her do the inspection that usually occurs before guests check in, and she was incredibly thorough.

The issues were resolved and she helped me get a $50 room credit for charging food or whatever to the room.

Even more sadly, though, there were more issues. I've had to fight with the WiFi over and over - it's only marginally useful. The wired Internet connection doesn't seem to work. The automatic shade thingy got stuck for quite a while. And what I thought was a rocking toilet seat, initially, is actually a rocking toilet.

If this toilet's rockin' don't bother knockin' - dive on in!

At one point I actually smelled sewer gas in the bathroom (not of my own making!), and maybe the toilet situation has something to do with it.

And finally, I found, last night, some sort of capsule - i.e. drug - in the safe drawer, just behind the safe. It kind of rolls around in there which is why Denise didn't spot it.

I really want to like it here in my first MGM stay, but these things are off putting for a discerning Flusher, who knows how to drink 'challenging' red wine now!

One of the key things to try here was the Lion's Share slot with the $2.3M progressive, that is waiting to be won for some 15 years or more. Down I went. And that fucker gobbled up $101 like it was a small mammal. Another $101 netted me 25 minutes of play, so I got to enjoy my cheap cigar, have a vodka, and play the thing.

Next stop, the high-limit room for some dollar VP. And $100 netted me a quad, which got me to $200, and a nose-dive down to zero.

A few $20s in some quarter machines and I became very angry. I'd blown through all my profits from EnWynn.

Shit. Hell. Shit hell.

Regrouping in the room, I thought, well, I could lock in a profit by having a few drinks and not gambling. I thought this. Yes, I did. But my stupid body had other ideas, forcing me over to the safe, forcing me to remove, like a gamble-zombie, a couple of hundys from my stash.

I would be disciplined. I would play only quarters. I would play only low-volatility stuff.

Broke the $200 into twenties and played a couple, and then headed off to the buffet for dinner, where I ate way too much crappy food. This buffet is NOT worth $30. The food was sad. So many things looked old, cold, and oversold. C'mon MGM, you can do better.

Is this the quality you charge $30 for MGM?

Delicious little cheesecakey things, and some rock candy
With a few twenties left, and on the verge of pushing the day from a $460 win to a losing day (snatching degeneracy from the jaws of savvy, as it were) I proceeded to find the highest volatility quarter VP games I could find. I settled on one that pays $500 for 2s, 3s or 4s with kicker and a cool $1000 (see how I did that, there?) for Aces with kicker. You can guess what I was shooting for.

As an aside, this machine has a game I've never seen anywhere else - Tens or Better. Strange, eh?

Okay, so, actually, I did hit quad 3s - but no kicker. Dammit!!! So close!!!

I had a good stake now though to pursue my dream and before very long, I nailed it!!!

$500 for the Flusher!
Finished the day up $460 (exactly what I lost yesterday!) and putting me at a loss of $290 for the trip so far.

One little Royal and I'm over the top. But where is it????


    1. It used to be that 10's or better was a playable game. Not sure what has been done with the pay table to make it in the MGM.

    2. Last time I stayed at MGM, I found a dirty blue latex glove next to the toilet. After bringing this to their attention, I got absolutely nothing. So, consider yourself a more valued guest than I was, and enjoy your $50 and your bonus pill from the safe. :)

    3. Flusher! Very savvvvvy play on the deuces with the kicker - Thanks for sharing the pics! What kind of pill was it - list the numbers/letters and someone (me) can look it up, if you'd like?

    4. Good job Flusher! Life is better with a kicker!

    5. Hi. It's the young woman from telecom. I told you I would visit your blog, Haha. So sorry to hear about the headphones. Just tell me when you're coming back and I will gladly help you!


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