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Saturday, August 31, 2013

Need the Queen of Clubs. No, wait...!

Moving day - again. One thing about stringing together a series of comped nights... you have to move a lot. It's starting to get a bit old, but I do like the change of pace. And I was ready to see the last of the MGM Greed.

I did a bit of morning play, tried the Lion's Scare one last time, and had to admit it wasn't to be this time. I left business cards number 88 and 89 out of 20,000 at the machine at various times. I wonder if any readers found them.

$21 lost there. Bonus Poker Deluxe. $60 lost there. I had $25 freeplay built up so I played that.

The MGM Greed God's took pity on me and threw me a quad. Thanks, bosses.

One last twenty on Boner Deluxe and... nada. Not even a twitch.

For breakfast, I had two diet Sausage a'Muffins with Cheese from the dollar menu at McDavers. See, when you are a loser, like I am, you learn to 'economize'. I also planned to return the expensive Bose headphones I'd bought for Mrs. Flusher - that would give my gambling budget a boost. Savvy!

So what made these Sausage a'Muffins diet? I only ate half of the english muffin part for each of them. That's a whole 180 english muff calories saved.

The last Web Conference of the week was a hum-dinger: "Accounting Inputs - Not Just Fiction Anymore". I learned a lot about the kind of stuff Mrs. Flusher runs into in the Estimatin' Department at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer, where I numb my mind to one-syllable thoughts, sphintering out size 7 grommets for The Man.

I checked my room statement online and the $50 compensation room comp wasn't on there. I had to fight through the phone system to get it rectified. No exchange with these guys has gone the way it should, including the casino. It's almost as if they don't want me to take their money! Zounds!

I packed up and checked out, ready to go out into another wonderful Vegas morning.

Some of the room issues posed safety hazards, so I took some of my personal time and went to the Gold desk. I explained that I'd already checked out but there were things they needed to address - the pill in the safe, which I wasn't going to touch, the very loosely mounted toilet, the annoyance of the shade that didn't work again this morning, and the ever-crashing "low-speed smoke signal lo-fi internet".

Fortunately she took the matters seriously - and seriously reduced my bill by the two night "resort" fees for $56.

Now, please don't think I'm just a whiner. When things are run well, it shows, and I appreciate it, such as at Encore. Top to bottom it was a great experience, and I had no qualms about paying my share for good meals enjoyed, and saying it was great. Because it was.

Would I stay at MGM again? If they throw a comped room and freeplay at me, yeah I probably would, although I might short play them. It just depends on what other offers I might have at the time.

Next stop on the Cheapstravaganza tour was Hooters - because they offered me $10 in freeplay. It cost me $20 to get the additional $10 and they kept it. It didn't actually seem like too bad a place, but the offers I'm getting reek of desperation. I guess I hope they make it - the last thing the town needs is another shuttered casino.

Drove up to Fry's to return the headphones, and a bluetooth speaker I'd bought. I returned it because it was butt-ugly. And I needed the readies for gambling.

I know what you are thinking. You cheapstravaganza-skate. I bought a pair of headphones - active noise cancelling this time - for Mrs. Flusher at Staples across the street. So there. Wrinkle - not in stock - they are bringing them in for me Saturday, supposedly. We'll see.

(Tina, the young woman from Telecom, I looked for you but didn't see you. Thanks again for your service, and sorry it didn't work out this time. I still love Fry's!!!)

Hopped on the interstate and white-knuckled my way downtown. I-15, sponsored by NASCAR. Shake 'n Bake, baby!

Checked in at the Cal, where I was very well treated at the desk. I got upgraded to a little suite, just perfect for my needs. I got double meal books, so I'm good there, and I am picking up the downtown free internet well enough to do the blog. That's a $10 a day savings right there.

The desk boothling got a very welcome $20 green handshake from The Flusher. (I tried for a Signature suite - which I have yet to see - but the last one was given out an hour before. I think I would have been able to get it, with my silver-tongued sweet-talking demeanor.)

Schlepped back to the car, got the luggage, schlepped back up to the room. Schlepped back downstairs and had for lunch, the fabled, awesome, Oxtail Stew at the counter at the coffee shop. Yumzers!

After lunch, here are some of the things I lost on:

Diamond Head Sequential Diamond Royal Bonus Poker, twice, a slot machine, dollar super double boner, 50-cent upright progressives (near the horrifying squealing bird of prey machines), quarter BP slanttops by the cage, multiple machines, quarter double double bonus. On the last $20 I had two wins of 5 credits and that's it.

I even tried a single dollar keno ticket. Nada.

And, with that, I was completely out of gambling cash. I had $8 in admin money in my wallet. I started hunting around - maybe I could find a piece of cardboard and a sharpie, or maybe a Big Bird suit to make some money with.

Not having found any such things, nor Squarebob Spongepants outfits, I did what any destitute gambler would do - activate a line of credit at one of the downtown casinos. I'd set this up in advance, and did the paperwork needed, signed, and they gave me $500 - FREE. The only thing is, I have to pay it back.

I tried $40 on a couple of machines in Binions, and then $20 on the Wheel of Meat. I got to spin and won 50 quarters. I blew it all back.

Pic for the male Elvis fans.

Porn Slappers have come to Fremont. This hotty makes me want to make that call!!!
Binions has some odd-looking off-brand video poker machines. I think they are Australian.

It was probably time to work my way home at the Cal, and settle in for some keno in the room. A libation was in order, so I saddled up to the bar. I ordered an Absolut on the rocks and slipped a $20 in. Boner Deluxe.

This is where it got weird. I texted the Quad Queen "Need the Queen of Clubs."

I pressed Draw. And got the King of Clubs. Shit. Missed four to a royal again.

The only thing was, I'd misread things somehow, and the card I actually needed was the King.

And I had my first Royal Flush of the trip. SAVVY SAVVY MISREAD!!!!!!!

I got paid off, got a free t-shirt slip, tipped the guy $20, and tipped the barkeep, Jordan $10.

I played off the hand and continued on.

And next thing I new some dodgy looking guy was standing next to me trying to introduce himself, offering a skin-condition dripping hand which was peeling and flaky and which I refused to shake and asking me how much I'd won.

When am I going learn not to hang around after winning a jackpot? Something like this had happened once before, with some guy hustling me after I'd hit a Royal and was later playing a slot. That's how I learned the hard way to get the cash to the safe quickly, and not to play more with it on you. Security took care of it that time.

When you have a lot of cash in your pocket, you make new friends fast.

I told Dodgy guy that I'd won "a couple of hundred" and thank goodness, I think the guy went to attend to his machine and order some drinks - he called for two of something, so maybe he was going to buy me a drink or some stupid thing.

I cashed out of there and circuitously hightailed it to the room, making certain my new friend didn't follow. It kind of made me feel weird and shitty and took the fun out of it.

Well... not completely.

Note to self - next time you win a jackpot, cash out immediately and go with the attendant. And get that cash into the safe.

I reloaded with only $190 for the rest of the night, wanting to preserve a winning day.

Sick of my $2 cigars, I went to check out Vato Cigars in the back of Binions (near Benny's Bullpen and near the stairs to where the coffee shop used to be) for some better smokes.

Paul with the 'John Holmes' model.
I had a great time in there chatting with the proprietor, Paul Vato. Paul is a big friendly guy who knows a lot about cigars and explained all kinds of things to me about how they are made, different offerings they have.

The forbidden 'circumcision' cut. Don't take off the whole tip!
Vato Cigars has a full line of quality smokes with all the labels you'd expect, and they also have their own signature line. Paul fixed me up with a variety of cigars based on what I told him I'd liked in the past. He offers a buy 5 get 2 free deal, so I went for that, and picked up a cutter as well. He also showed me how to use it and more importantly, what not to do with it.

If you like cigars, check 'em out. 

Back to the Cal through Binions...

The desert weather calls for warm footwear, apparently.
Back at the Cal, I settled into some great quarter Double Double Bonus play - a nice long session with a couple of wins, and one of Paul's Las Vegas signature cigars. It was a nice, smooth smoke.

I had a great hour, puffing away, and saying things to the cocktail waitress like, "So what are you dressing up for this year at Hallowe'en? I liked you with blue hair last time. Red hair would look good on you too."

And she said things to me like, "I HAVE red hair."

To which I wittily retorted, "Ah yes. So you do."

Another straight flush!
I ate dinner kind of late - had the salad bar and braised short-ribs, which were tender and excellent.

And after that, I blew a $20 or two in this and that and devoted the last hundy to dollar play - and got nowhere fast. I didn't mind, it had been a great day, and I'd finally gotten that Royal and made the comeback I so craved.

As it stands, I'm only down $230 on the trip at this point. Which is pretty good, because I've enjoyed $1437 in comps so far. Now that is the Royal Flusher Way!

A note about cigars

Tobacco is harmful, as is second-hand smoke. When not smoking a cigar myself, it can be quite annoying, and many's the time I've chosen to move away from one.

I really do not want to offend anyone, but if you find a cigar bothersome, I suggest you move away from it. Hurtful comments like the one posted earlier today are uncalled for and not in the least helpful.

To date, I have not lit a cigar when there was anyone else close by. There was literally not a single other gambler in the high limit room when I lit my $2 beauty.  Maybe it would be better to restrict my cigars to the cigar lounges around town.

The last thing I want is to start a debate on smokers and non-smokers rights within this blog or within the comments.

Jimmy Poon moderates each and every comment that gets submitted before it is posted on the blog. I've spoken to Jimmy about this and additional comments on cigar smoking pro or con will not be posted.


    1. I was almost gonna offer you my free food voucher I get every month at the golden gate-but now you have more money than me..since you won that royal! I wont use the voucher anyways..but not sure I will make it downtown on time to get it, I might start drinking here soon..then I wont be driving! congrats on your win!

    2. Good job on the Royal, looks like you needed the King of Clubs to me....

    3. Re: your royal--you were correct in asking for the king. See queen held in your picture :)

    4. Wow, that's all I can say (about prev. comment)
      Congrats on the Royal!!
      That "dodgy looking guy" is the reason I don't go downtown - at least on solo trips. But my husband will be interested in Vato Cigars - what casino is it in?

      1. Vato Cigars is in the back of Binions, near Benny's Bullpen and near the stairs to where the coffee shop used to be

    5. Finally a Royal!! Congrats! I hope I can be that lucky next week.
      Continued success!

    6. Yeah I got that messed up. Fixed now, thanks!

    7. Congratulations on the Royal, Flusher.
      May this be the first of many.

    8. Yes, you needed the King of clubs, but I think what you really needed, karmically speaking, was a return Downtown and a bowl of oxtail stew. All was not right with the world when you were up at EnWynn and MGM.

    9. Congrat's on your royal... Some questions:

      1) Why did you need a handpay for a quarter-level royal ($1,000)-- I thought handpays started at $1,200? Couldn't you just get a TITO? Maybe it was a machine that had posted "Royal flushes paid by attendant?"

      2) You do realize you were playing 8/5 BDlx which is "short pay" as 9/6 BDlx can be found downtown at The Fremont?

      3) Try playing at the bar at Main Street Station. Good microbrews on tap, full-pay JoB (at both quarter, 50c, and dollar), and a scratch card promotion which throws the odds slightly in your favor, too.

      1. Those are great questions.

        1) For some reason, the Cal handpays all Royals on quarters, even the non-progressive $1000 ones. Maybe this is so they can give you a t-shirt (and so the attendants have more to do and get tips). :)

        2) I do realize this was short pay. It seems that it doesn't make sense to play any short pay machines - but when all the full pay ones are just draining your budget, there's a flow to things as you move around from place to place in search of some luck. That, and the desire for a cocktail, landed me at the bar, in hopes of a quick hit in the shape of a $100 quad. I guess it worked out okay in the end.

        I also try to give most of my play to the place I'm staying at - that said, I can play at Fremont and it counts as it is a Boyd property - but I'm trying to stay loyal to my home casino. I think now, though, maybe I will just wander over to the Fremont and give those full pay BDLX puppies a spin.

        3) Agree with the bar recommendation. I kinda get bored with full pay JoB sometimes though.

        Thanks for reading and for the insightful observations.

    10. Congrats on the royal! I haven't played downtown in a very long time. Your great stories are making me think I need to return for a visit on my next trip. Could you post a couple pics of your suite please.

    11. Hey Flusher congrats on the trip saving ultra savvy Royal!

      I know big Jimmy won't let this comment through but I have to say coming from the UK (no smoking in indoor places) the smoke in the Casino's did put a downer on the trip and limited the time we could spend in them!


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