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Saturday, August 24, 2013

Partying With Steely Dan and the Heineken Girls

The trip to the Palms was uneventful - I managed to stay on my planned route, even though I'd never driven on some of the streets before. I took Main to Wyoming, then down Industrial, swung onto Twain, left in Arville, and left on Trop, and into the Palms. Easy peasy.

Played a little waiting for the show (The Loose Deuces) and mostly lost $40.

The seat I had was in a balcony and was way more obstructed then their diagrams would indicate. I couldn't see the band members on the far left of the stage at all. Fortunately I could see most everything else, and really, the main thing was to hear, not see, right?

Steely Dan is one of my favorite bands, featuring 'cloying jazz-crossover harmonies that defy categorization'. I feel this is a true now as it was when I read it in the liner notes for Aja.

Well, they did not disappoint. Even though Donald Fagen's voice is really restricted in the higher range, it didn't matter too much - they were fantastic.

The band they have put together is top notch - virtuoso players, all of them. Incredible horn section, incredible drummer and lead guitarist.

In these days of synth pop, auto-tune, and sampled loops, it is all too rare to see people who can really play at the top of musicianship - who truly excel, and are truly talented.

The same goes for the composition of the tunes we heard - the melodic and chordic sensibilities have a familiar feel and then veer off into a tasty crunch with unexpected but perfectly balanced surprises that make your face scrunch up in delight - sort of like that Namasu cucumber salad stuff.

The crowd was enthusiastic but, frankly, weird, with way too much audience showboating and 'hand conducting' going on. Hand conducting is when you move your hands artistically in the air in your interpretation of what a conductor would do if he was leading the band.

But he's not. And you're not. So keep your fucking arty, air-sculpting hands in your pockets.

After the show, I headed out and took I-15 back downtown - a quick trip. Valeted the car again and headed up to the room.

What to do, what to do? I'd had a pretty good day so I put most of my readies in the safe, leaving out $60 which was left over from the Palms. I thought I'd just go down to the Four Queen's casino, and see what I could do with that and if I lost it, that was that.

Hit the bar up by Fremont Street, one of the last machines in the row, nearest the street. Ordered an Absolut and got busy. The first $20 went and I figured I'd be up in bed in about 5 more minutes.

Twenty number 2 went in and it only took a few hands before I was dealt quad fives for $65. I whipped out the knock-off Korean piPhone 3.14 and took a picture. Out of the corner of my eye there were some people to my right, talking to the person on my left.

They asked a question. And asked it again. And again. I realized they were talking to me and asking why what was special about my screen that I took a picture and texted about it.

I quickly explained that I am a (someday to be) Award-winning degenerate savvy blogger.

"Flusher's the name. Royal Flusher."

I handed out a couple of my business cards. I think I have now handed out about 27 of the 10,000 of these I ordered.

"Can we buy you a cold Heineken in the snappy new bottle?" one of them asked?

Does this sort of thing happen to me a lot? You'd be surprised how often. I remained unfazed by the attention.

I looked at these two very attractive ladies and realized they were decked out in Heineken logo wear.

We got talking and of course, it turns out their job is to promote the Heineken brand. They laid some cool merch on me (a keychain, which doubles as - wait for it - a beer opener!) and we talked shop a bit.

It turns out that the Heineken girls were my personal good luck charm. Because I started winning like a Dutch beer swilling sumbitch.

They went off to do their work, which consisted of talking about Heineken, handing out stuff, and buying beers for people, leaving their kit of stuff on the bar for me to watch over.

Meanwhile, a local girl on my left struck up a conversation with me. We had a fun enough time, but she insisted on playing only one quarter at a time, and then complaining when she didn't win much on various hands. I kept my opinions to myself. She also believed that the use of a player's card diminishes what the machine pays back.

As a savvy gambler, I kept my opinions to myself, and assured her that her theory was likely the truth.

Just when the Heineken Girls came back, luck struck again on my machine, in the form of quad 3s.

Heineken brand beer is the luckiest beer in the world, I started to suspect.

I cashed out my ticket - $175 - and put the last $20 in. I wanted to make sure I didn't blow back all my profit.

The Exciting Lucky Heineken Girls came back and were taking some group pictures.

"Do all Heineken Girls pop their knees forward like that for pictures? It looks very suave and professional and you do it so well!" I said.

We laughed about that and agreed that it was the best posture for photography, compared to, say, scratching one's butt or standing glassy-eyed and drooling. Yes, the knee-pop is the professional Heineken Girl photographic stance.

Back at the machine.... the Photogenic Exciting Lucky Heineken Girls worked their magic yet again! The Third Four Queen Lucky Heineken Girl Bonus of the Day for me!!!

And there was still more to come!

Sadly, partying with the Heineken Girls had to come to an end. They packed up their stuff and we said so long, but not before they laid another ice-cold green lovely one on my bartop. They promised to read up on the blog, and I promised I would post pictures of the 'knee-pop'.

They strolled off, and I did a knee-pop of my own when taking a picture of the last quad of the night.

I cashed out a second ticket - this one for $200.

Can you believe that now, I am, not only not down $1000 on the trip, no, but instead, I am, actually, UP $50 on the trip!!!

Yes, I won it all back today, and my thanks and cheers go out to the Exciting Lucky Heineken Girls and Heineken brand beer - THE LUCKIEST BEER IN THE WORLD.


    1. Hey Flusher,how is the Pearl as a concert venue? I have always wanted to see a show there. Dan

    2. Hey Roy, I agree, more about the Pearl. How many does it seat, are the floor seats permanent or can they move them to create a pit?

      "Dutch beer swilling sumbitch"? Good stuff. Woke the dog again.

    3. Aloha FLUSHER, I've been reading your blog for years and (in my humble opinion) this post is your best. The Heineken Girls seem to give you MORE luck. Please keep posting and tell us ALL about how those QUADS just keep coming your way.
      Great! [ I have one question; Who the H--L is
      wearing their BASEBALL CAP - LIKE AN IDIOT - BACKWARDS? ] Either way, GOOD LUCK and keep posting. Lucky

    4. The Pearl had folding seats on the floor, so yeah, they could be removed for a pit.

    5. Aloha! Thanks for your support! Heineken Girls are the luckiest!

    6. I love your blogin but ya need a flash on the camera. I couldn't see the Heiny girls

    7. Well hello Mr. Royal Flusher! It's Traci, the Heineken Girl. Yes, as promised I read your blog and loved it. :)

    8. Hi Traci! Thank you for stopping by. I hope to bump into you again some day soon when my luck is running low. I can always use more cardboard Lucky Heineken Beer signs too.

    9. "I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
      You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you"

      Love Steely Dan!

    10. Nice day! Primus is scheduled @The Joint for their "A Farewell to Kings" tour this summer. Not looking to good.

      and left on Flamingo. LOL


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