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Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Turning Twenties Into Hundies

Today would be another one of those Web Conference days. Norbert back at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer, where I slave out a living manhandling tiny size 7 grommets, had set up a beauty on personal hygiene called "Remove That Grease From Everywhere - Not Just a Hand Job Anymore".

I had to squeeze some gambling in around a full day of this kind of mesmerizing content.

First stop, coffee, second stop, some quads in The Cal's homey casino, including one on my seventh hand of the day.It was a good little session, netting me a $60 win.

Back in the room, I started the caloric day off right with a satisfying, healthy, delicious breakfast of creamery non-fat wallpaper paste and fresh roasted tree nuts. MMM mmmm.

The Keno numbers didn't look good - there was no earth-shattering win overnight and there weren't many games left to go.

The Web Conference took most of the morning and by lunchtime I was ready for real breakfast for lunch and had what was actually a very delicious omelette at the counter in the Market Street coffee shop.

Was the receipt a harbinger of Aces to come???...

I had to make a trip to the front desk to pick up a package and just happened to wander by a dollar machine - I ramped $20 up to $80 and cashed out a $60 win, again.

Later, in an afternoon break, the 50 cent progressive, which was up to $2800 for the Royal, called my name. I put $20 in and took $100 out. It seemed like all I could do was turn twenties into hundies! I tried another and it bombed, but now I was up $180 for the day.

You all know this is pretty sweet for the last full day of a trip, right.

Tried a slot machine - $20 in, $80 out. So now, I was up $260 on the day and $460 on the trip. If I kept my wits about me and used discipline, I could pretty much assure a winning trip.

The final tally on the $125 500-game keno ticket was $59.75. Not exactly a savvy play, but it was fun for some of you. And it kept me interested during the "Prevent the Scourge of Oral Multilaria" afternoon Web Conference.

Lost $20 in Super Double Triple Millionuple Fucker Bonus and lost it and then put $20 a BP machine, got a couple of quads, played half an hour at 50 cents, and cashed out $120. Taking Keno into account I was up $320 on the day?

Would this never end?!

Work duties were finally done, and I put all my cash away except $160. I headed down to the casino, got a cocktail and tried that damn dollar Treasure Chest again, and of course lost. And then I lost $160 over 45 minutes.

Obviously things had turned. But I still had a lot of profit for the day.

Because the Quad Queen had been such a good sport about this trip, I got her on the knock-off piPhone 3.14 and let her call the shots, giving her the play by play.

Well, it cost me. Her choice was $40 in $2 Double Double, which we promptly lost, dollar Treasure Chest which we lost, dollar Bonus Deluxe, which we lost, twice.

I hung up on her before I went broke! Talk about The Cooler!!!

Well, I'd have to win back the stake. With the last $20 I had on me, I got busy on quarters, parlaying it up to dollars. I needed to take out $180 to nullify the Quad Queen Effect. I went up. I went down to $15. I went all the way up to $170.

Had a shot at a dollar royal...

And this is as close as I came.
Un-savvy draw.

No royal. But I had a full hour of dollar play (good for the comps!) on just $20.

Got a comp for the Redwood Grille for dinner. It was pretty good but the server was like a bus-driver waiter. No finesse, not engaging, and didn't even check on my meal even though there were only five other tables. He literally dumped the little mints on the table in front of me. All he wanted was for me to eat, tip him, and get out. I didn't stiff but I did undertip.

Bread on a Stick
Not a bad Single Lonely Diner Table
Crab wonton - did they have to be deep-fried?

Salad - not enough prizes!
Filet Mignon
Mints exactly where the waiter dumped 'em
I went back to get a bit more playing money, making sure I didn't go past the break-even point for the day. How can such a great day go in the shitter so quickly?

Losing $80 in blackjack in 7 minutes, that's a good example of how.

I played my last $20 and at one point, played my last credits, but managed to win a couple of hands. And I ended up getting the Aces. So never say die!

I played that string out at 50 cents and that was it. I ended up even on the day.

Watching TV in the room, I realized I had to check for yet another package, so I was forced - FORCED!!! - to walk through the casino.

And I took a flyer on some ridiculous paytabled high-volatility Frankenmachine and managed to squeeze out a $60 win, after putting two emergency twenties into it.

And that's where I finished the day, up $60, my third winning day in a row, and up $260 for the trip.

I had one more duty to perform - hand-deliver a coveted R.F. business card to molymilker who was camped out at the bar at the Four Queens. I did just that and came back to The Cal and went to bed.

Sorry this entry isn't as hy-sterical as usual, but I wanted to bang it out before heading for.... the airport.


    1. Love your posts Royalflusher.I'm always entertained and look forward to your amusing gambling and food journeys.

    2. $260 up for the trip is a pretty SAVVY move! Congrats!

    3. No! Not the airport! Can you stay another week for our entertainment? Pleeeezzzzzzz?

    4. Fly safe and thanks for a great read. With all the crap on the new network schedules... Some genius scheduler should hand you a hefty advance for flusher rites. Very entertaining. Thanks

    5. You tha man, Flush. Vegas is definitely more entertaining with you around.

    6. Any trip spent playing -EV games that turns out to be a winner--particularly if that trip is an extended one--is definitely on the miraculous side, especially if you never hit a royal. You "should" have lost 3%+ of your total action (several hundred $$$). It's hard for me to endorse playing anything but the best games in a city full of excellent VP, but congrats on your miraculously non-losing trip. What will happen if you ever learn to play fullpay games? Will the casinos greet you with guns drawn instead of hugs?


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