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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Prevail Over the Evil Machines

Day 14 - Part 2

What hell did the rest of this day wrought?? Did I prevail over the evil gambling machines or fall into a skeletal drunken stupor? Read on!

Meanwhile, back at the Downtown Grand...

I grabbed a cold (Lucky) Heineken at the bar while chasing that damn DDB progressive (which was now up to a fat and juicy high 700s - almost $800 in fact) and then ordered another which I took up to the room - because I had more Veeblework to do.

Veeblework is hard, boring work. It's how I earn enough shekels to come to Vegas and lose my ass. I put every bit as much effort into it as you would expect.

And soon, it was time for lunch.


Le Thai of course. It was yet another perfect day to be out and about.

The intersection at Fremont and Las Vegas Boulevard threw me. I missed the walk sign and the next one seemed to take forever. That's because they've gone 'cars go one way, cars go the other way, pedestrians go any way' cycle. When the walk sign comes, you can cross either street, or both, by walking on the diagonal. This is a boon to drunks from all over the world.

 What can I say about the lunch special at Le Thai that I haven't already said? It was the perfect break from Veeblework, in the shady sun, cool breezes, good tune, and great food as always.

The sun was so beautiful and the breezes so... breezy that I decided to check out Container Park. It remains to be seen whether this place has the legs to succeed. If you go by the praying mantis out front, it does.

 I walked around. I snooped. I took pictures.
Mexican food right downtown at Container park!

Real grass, and a real stage!
 Then I came across Big Ern's BBQ and I went.... oh my gawwwd. I thought I'd come back here for dinner - maybe they'd be open - and then - and then - I had a MUCH MUCH BETTER IDEA which would come into play in... part 3.

Did anyone find the Royal Flusher love letter here?...
Since I was right across the street from the El Cortez, I thought I'd have a bash at the machines in the Dollar Cave.

First, I tried twenty bucks in dollar Bonus Poker. It's always good to test the waters, right? The waters, in this case, were full of twenty-dollar-bill eating sharks.

Not a problem. I placed a good luck business card between the machines, and moved right next to it, to dollar Double Double Bonus.

 And I began to play. From $20. Fortunately, I kept getting this and that, and I got a full house and had some credits to play with, having worked it up to almost $100. And before very long, I rocked quad 4s for $400. No kicker, darn it.

This triggered a hand pay with which I also got... a choice of a coupon for a pound of chocolates, or a free play envelope from the big drum. Guess which one I took.

I had a good head of steam up so I played on. And the machine just kept giving me paying hands. In the back of my mind I was thinking I could get three quads if I got lucky.

Guess what? Yup, I nailed a second quad, Kings for $250 this time.
I was getting downright giddy by now. I had $400 in my pocket and $320 in the machine. I considered cashing but... I wanted that third quad. And I kind of wanted to empty the machine of coins.

I played on and hit two fulls house in a row, and that put me over $400. The machine started spitting out big dollar coins into the tray - PANG, PANG, PANG, PANG... It won't let you go over 400 credits.

And, I'd emptied the machine of coins. They had to come and put more in. Just what I wanted.

As I continued on, though, I sensed that my luck was changing. This was because the credit meter had dropped by $100. I was NOT going to blow all this money back this time and a little reluctantly, but feeling very pumped, hit the cash out button.

It took some doing to scoop up all the dollar coins into a couple of plastic buckets - 300 of 'em.

When the machine was done dumping its load into the coin bin, I still had a lot of scooping to do. Just for fun, I put five dollar coins back into the machine.


Scoop, scoop, scoop.

Five more dollars back in.


Scoop, scoop, scoop.

Five more dollars back in.

Hey, got a full house! Now I had $45 in the machine. I finished scooping coins up, and put my attention to playing again.

And by God I hit quad number three!

Now I had $400 in my pocket, two full things of coins, and $280 in the machine. Man, I was creamin' it!

I played on hoping for more, but occasionally, I am slightly more savvy than I am greedy. At $200 left in the machine I cashed that out and added to my overflowing coin buckets.

Yes, I ran it out of coins again.
What a run! Just what I needed!

I actually had kind of a tricky time getting those three coin buckets up to the cage - imagine three hunks of solid metal the size of a coin bucket - that's pretty much what I had. Anyway, I cashed 'em in and when it was said and done I had turned a twenty dollar bill into $905.

On my way out of the El Cortez I suddenly remembered my free play envelope. Back to the slot club... I picked an envelope and got the minimum - $10. Played it at the Parlour bar on 50 cent Double Double... I was actually dealt three Aces but no... didn't get it. Still, I turned the envelope into $40 and cashed out.

Back in the room at the Downtown Grand, I had a belt from my portable bar (half a mickey of Schmirnoff Mrs. Flusher left behind) and relaxed. What a great way to end my trip! In 18 hours I'd be winging my way home.

Except the internet had other ideas. There was a huge-ass clustersnowfuck storm about to pound the bejesus out of Toronto and all the usual places in the nearby states. If I flew tomorrow as planned, I was probably looking at spending the day and the night at Pearson. 


    1. The Main Street HaitianMay 13, 2014 at 10:51 AM

      I've got to move to Canada, for it would provide the necessary excuse I need to extend my LV trips.

      In other news Flusher, I had my Savviest trip to a casino ever last Wednesday. In a little over six hours, I used your patented (I know you won't sue me as international court lawyers are pretty well paid) Strict Rules of Parlay - Queensbury variation to turn $1K into $19K. I think you'll especially like the STP DDB hit. Just a quick question though is it that you became a Red Wings fan?

    2. Pearson? You mean

    3. mickey
      A measurement of alcohol (13 ounces: it's a flat, curved bottle, supposed to fit in your pocket, but it doesn't, really).


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