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Friday, June 27, 2014

Caesars Magical Screw You Peons Empire

Tuesday October 15, 2002

The last day of my solo $19 a night Vegas trip.

I started the day with the breakfast buffet.

Filling my gob the Caesars Palace way.

It cost $14.99 but it was good. They had all kinds of fresh fruits out, breads, hot selections, and of course, the omelette station.

Fully fueled up, I did some gambling. I hit a winning streak. Then I hit a losing streak. Then I got four Kings on Barge Bonus, and then four more kings on 9/6 quarters. I had a nice $70 profit.

Thought I would give roulette a spin but $20 wheeled away in no time. And then somehow I lost $60 on multiplay deuces.

I’d played for about an hour and a half though, only losing $40 when it was all said and done.

With my room offer at Caesars was a free ticket to Caesars Magical Empire (which I suspected was just south of Caesars Magical Toga Waistband.) In any case, putting the questionable sexual proclivities of the whole Caesars/Rome thing aside, I went to check out the venue.

That’s when I realized that my ticket was for a late showing. In fact… I’d be on the plane by then.

But wait! There was an earlier show!

So I went and talked to the boothling at the desk about my predicament. Do you think I was met with any kind of understanding or helpful attitude?

Not on your lion-fodder life.

The bitch would not change my tickets for an earlier show, even though it they were free. It didn’t even matter that I wasn’t going to use one of them (I had two). I was pretty pissed off, needless to say. I aquaduct out of there and headed up to the room to pack.

At check-out, I got talking to the Brazilian ‘line guy’ at registration. His job, I think, is to ‘facilitate’ the line. He was the perfect guy in the perfect job. Sometimes you just meet people that are like that.

We got talking and he said he was a music therapist and was impressed that I chose to go on vacation after getting laid off.

In return I told him I was impressed that he’d let me dump my entire life story on him.

I got some pictures and did a free pull and lost.

Then, having a moment of inspiration, I decided to make a deposit into the future karma bank. I strolled back to Caesars Magical Screw You Peons Empire, found some people in line to buy tickets… and gave them mine.

One last gasp at reaming out Caesar, as it were, was at the barge and it was a no go, mo fo. Lots of woe, tho’.

It was time to leave the strip and engage on the final act of cheapness of the trip, one that I was pretty proud of. I took the free shuttle to the Hard Rock Hotel from the valet area of the Forum shops, where I hung around playing 9/6 Jacks and ogling the cocktail waitresses while waiting for my plane.

I switched to Bonus Poker just in time to hit two quick quads, which was nice.

Did some shopping, made a webcam appearance for the guys at the plant, and lost my money back afterwards.

One of the great things about playing at the Hard Rock is always the music. They know what they’re doing in that department. Some personal favorites of mine were played and it was a nice ol’ rocking time. Hendrix’ Wild Thing (the Monterey Pop version), Jackson Browne, Doctor My Eyes, Guess Who with No Time, I’ve Got You by Split Enz… a wide variety of rock and tasty pop.

Had a late lunch/early supper at Mr. Lucky’s. I had a free dessert coupon that came with the slot club sign-up. Had a 12oz. New York steak (beef for a change?!), salad, fries. It was very good, actually. The steak was an inch thick, cooked to perfection.

For the free dessert, I chose home-made cheesecake with strawberries. All in all, it was an excellent last Vegas meal and, my notes specify, my server Carmel was ‘very nice!’.

And that’s the end of my solo trip.

My notes have a complete list of everything I spent on expenses (food, tips, etc.). The grand total was $448 out of pocket.

Not bad for six days in Vegas!

The gambling results, I lost $143.
So total, total, total was a little less than $600 out of pocket and the flight was on points.

As you can see, I really had a low gambling budget for this trip. It was a time when full pay video poker was still easily found on the strip, and free rooms and some meal comps came easily. Sadly, those days are long, long gone.

Can you imagine getting that Caesars offer today on an hour or two a day of quarter video poker play, on full pay machines?

The Flusher never had it so good, back in the days of Vintage Las Vegas.


    1. Nice "story". But between us you've grown immensely in the writing department!! A backhanded compliment I suppose but a compliment nevertheless. :) AND as a bonus a couple of pics of the elusive Flusher in his habitat!!! Thanks.

    2. Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Flusher! My first trip to Vegasland was a solo venture in 2000. I tackled the Megadog at the Ho, bet on football at Stardust, and tried slots and vp for the first time at Saraha. I miss the 'Dust most of all. Rarely paid for a room there, and, when I did, it was never more than $25/night. Still upset with Boyd over their decision to implode the old gal.

    3. Only did 4-5 trips before the 2004-ish time frame, but I never realized how good the gambling used to be on the strip back then, as I never played VP until later in the decade.

    4. Flush, is that you in the 'did a webcam appearance' photo featured above?


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