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Saturday, June 21, 2014

Livin' Large at the IPerooski

Got up, showered and headed straight to the breakfast buffet at the IPerooski. They have great oval waffles. Fresh strawberries and melon, a sausage, home fries, coffee.

Many people fear the buffet but if you choose carefully, you can find a pretty good breakfast, centered around fresh fruit and those perfect little oval waffles. It helps if you can grab the ones that have just come off the iron.

Not a terrible room, but certainly nothing to blog about.

The infamous I.P. 'gooseneck' shower heads.
Played some 9/6 Jacks, got 240 hands out of $20. Then got 50 hands out of $20. Tried Deuces. Lost $40. Tried White Hot Aces. Lost $20. Tried $1 Jacks (are you starting to see a rhythm here??...). Lost. Nothing is working.

Had to cash a traveller’s check! :(

Won $2 on keno from last night and then it was time to hit the road. Went to Mirage and my card wouldn’t work. Got a new card and finally some luck came my way.

The boothling informed me that I had a buffet for two coming my way. She kindly wrote it up as one buffet for tonight and one for tomorrow night. I had to take them or lose them, but when they throw free food at me, I’m gonna take it. Twice.

Slipped a lucky $20 bill into Bonus Poker. Played dollars by mistake instead of quarters. And lost. Eight hands.

Now, Mrs. Flusher had given me some cash to gamble ‘for her’, so even though my bankroll for the day was going in the dumper, I still had a back door stake to get some action (but not back door action).

So, surely some Deuces for her would be lucky, right? $20 in. Lost. Not lucky.

I didn’t like the trend of the day one bit - no winnings, no quads. Free buffets but still - no winnings.

I jumped on the Island of Treasure Island Terror Tram (which once featured Steve Wynn’s disembodied pirate voice) and swashbuckled my way to the Swashbuckler bar.

Played some full pay Bonus Poker and finally got my first quad of the day. Sixes, if you are interested. So I put in $20 and cashed out $50. At last, a change in direction.

I headed over to the Fashion Show mall and got some net access at a kosher deli across from T.I. Five bucks for 15 minutes of internet. I had some emails from Jimmy Poon saying the guys at Veeblefetzer had all seen me on the Hard Rock webcam. Kenny Blankenship said I looked like a degenerate. I took that as a compliment.

I needed another piece of luggage to carry all the brochures and dice and shotglasses and crap I was accumulating and picked up a black bag at one of those dodgy tourist luggage outlet places on the strip for $12.

Back at the IP, I put $20 in - guess what - 9/6 Jacks - and played for a decent while, 240 hands while drinking Jack Daniels and cokes. I worked the machine up into a randy, hot lather the hard way (190 quarters) and then I cashed out $47.50. Another profitable session. It is such profitable sessions on which profitable part days, and the profitable days are built. I was still on the right track.

I went back to the room to re-group and gaze down on the double D cup bathing beauties that were just outside my window. The selection of bathing beauties at the IP pool (and it should be noted that IP and pool should never be used together in a sentence, but if the bathing cap fits… wear it) was less that stellar, but at the highest end of the bottom-of-the-barrel Vegas pool scene.

I shouldn’t judge. We all have different bodies. Hell, I wouldn’t even have the nerve to take my own hairy body down to the IP pool (there’s that again) in a bikini.

I did an accounting and my totals to date are $104 lost on the trip, and $136 in expenses and gifts.

It was a bit late for buffet lunch, and I should have known better, but yeah, I had the IP Emperor’s buffet yet again. And it was not very good.

Luck change! Played $20 in Jacks on quarters. Lost. On my second $20 did better with long play and quad somethings. Cashed out $60. I used $20 profit in White Hot Aceses. Nuthin’.

Back to Jacks. First $20 - nuthin. Second $20 had a long run. Quad Jacks twice. I got up as high as 400 quarters (shooting for 500). Cashed out at 300 quarters. Played 400 hands and made $35 profit.

Took a nap and then went on a VP tour of the near part of the strip. First stop, Barbary Coast to sign up at the slot club, play a little VP and finally hear (and see) Big Elvis! I took some pictures and video of the crowd. Women love him, singing and dancing, going onstage for pictures. I waved goodbye and the Big King responded in kind.

I may be Royal but Big Elvis is the King.
He really sounds good, and he really sounds like Elvis.

I lost $20 at full-pay Double Double Bonus and played some Deuces - $40 in, $20 out. On to Bally’s and Bellagio for some picture taking. I didn’t actually go in. So it wasn’t shaping up to be much of a VP tour after all.

Imperial Palace

I orchestrated my loop to end me up back at Mirage for dinner. The Mirage buffet has gone downhill. The Korean BBQ ribs were fatty but tasty. I had two pieces of raspberry-chocolate cheesecake, which were great. Well, if they weren’t great, I would have stopped at one piece, wouldn’t I.

The live band Party Central was playing. I loved it! Played, lost, and listened. Then I enjoyed my first comped buffet.

I broke into Mrs. Flusher’s secret back-up gambling money, cause mine was gone. Played $40 on slots and lost it all.

Back at the Limperial Palace, I had $40 of Mrs. Flusher’s $80 left. I played $20 on dollar VP and it was gone in 10 hands. The last $20 went into good ole Jacks again. Played for 250 hands and cashed out at $40.

When I got back to the room, I found another $20 in my pocket, which I didn’t know I had. (The $20, not the pocket.) So, I didn’t feel like as much of a schmuck. I had only ‘borrowed’ $20 of Mrs. Flusher’s money, which I’ll replace tomorrow.

I retired early to Television. Livin’ large at the IPerooski.

At this point, I was down $179 on the trip.

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