Average Are For Degenerates

I started off down in the lobby by rubbing Buddha’s tummy for luck, and then slipped a hundy into one of the old upright dollar 9/6 Jacks or Better coin droppers nearby.

The big moment, finally at hand.

After a series of dramaless losses, I changed machines.

Nothing.

Cashed out the remaining $30 in coins and tried them in the Burning Itching 7s progressive slots that hit all the time and play the jackpot music endlessly - but never for me. Got no win whatsoever.

This would be a good time to have dinner at the Market Street Cafe.

A healthy start to a healthy country fried meal.

I started with salad bar and then had the country fried pork chop. When it came it was country fried cold shoe leather. I let the server know and she said she could microwave it for me.

“That would make it even tougher, although hot. That won’t do. I want a proper one.”

We actually argued for a while between microwave and fresh order. I smiled to myself. Only at the Cal.

I got a freshly made one and it was hot and juicy - and tough as shoe leather. I ate it without complaint, and went back to the casino.

Note to self - just because it says country fried, doesn’t mean it will be spectacular.

I played some dollar Bonus Poker and got nowhere. Getting squeamish, I dropped back to 50 cents just in time to hit four 2s for a couple of hundred.

Now we were getting somewhere!

Parlayed that back to dollars and played quite a while, hitting a few hands.

Then I decided to go for broke and bumped it up to $2. I had about $300 in the machine and ran it up to $400. I seriously thought about cashing it out but couldn't bring myself to do it. I rarely get to hammer at this level and I thought I might as well go big or go home on the one in three Air Canada planes that actually make it to Vegas.

I dropped as low as $20, made it all the way up to $400, hitting an emergency quad to get me there. I kept pounding.

I was indeed dealt four to a Royal but didn’t get it. One card off an $8000 win. Gotta remember that you get 47 or so of those before you hit one. On average.

One card away from $8000.

But averages are for degenerates, not savvy players. So where was the Royal???

Still one card away from $8000. I did get a paying pair though. Oh yay.

Like nothing, the $400 went away and I played it out to seal a losing first day. Not so savvy.

On my way back to the room, my piPhone rang.

“Ring…” it went.

I looked at the call display - Kenny Blankenship. Hunh.

“Royal!!! Are you winning?”

“Kenny, how did you get this number?”

I have a different number in the US because I use Roam Mobility for my ‘away’ provider, with a different SIM card.

“Jimmy Poon gave it to me. Great news! I’m headed out to Vegas! Can you get me a deal on a room?”

Royal Flusher: Day: $-500 Trip: $-500