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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Ten Measly Dollars

Let it be known that you can’t buy fuck all that remotely resembles a meal at any airport for ten measly dollars. Thanks so much Air FU Canada.

The burger was horrid, and I’d had to pay a couple of bucks out of pocket just to add a drink. It sat in my stomach like a glob of poorly chewed cement.

Surprise, surprise, the 1:15 departure became 1:25. Actually, nothing surprised me at this point. I thought about some of the $800 compensation people who would actually get to Vegas before me. We shuffled back onto the plane, and I had the same seat number as before, but the plane had a different configuration. The lucky saps in business class got those stretch out pods they have on overseas ‘metal’, so they were happy, I’m sure.

Sitting next to me was one of the bachelorettes. Score! I asked about Defcon Chatty Grandma and apparently, she’d opted to stay in her seat. Did I want to swap with her friend (who was afraid of flying and mellowed out on ‘several’ downers)? No, I did not. I did not love D.C.G. all that much.

Bachelorette number one turned out to be a good travel companion, looking pretty, chatting amicably at times, and mostly leaving me alone.

Captain Turbodick came across the P.A. using the voice. “Gooooood afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Turbodick up on the flight deck ...blah blah blah… maintenance… radio… fifteen or twenty minute delay.”

Are you as tired of reading about delays as I was living them? Probably not. I’ll sum up. We did in indeed leave about 20 minutes later, over six hours later than our scheduled departure time. I got a ‘special’ promo code from AC by email - for 10% off my next purchase of a flight. Of all the content I’d carefully loaded onto my niPad from the Plex server that Jimmy Poon set up for me, none worked.

And almost five hours later, we landed at McCarran (in Fabulous Las Vegas!), some 15 hours after I’d left the house in Flusherville.
Ahhhh Vegas!
Checked bag? It took almost a freaking hour to arrive. Good God! Mine was literally one of the very, very last bags off the plane. The carousel was deserted by the time I left.
Home of The Lonely Flusher
You can see how this is all shaping up, right? Okay, got my bag, head for the car rental shuttle. Take a 3 second detour to grab a magazine from a rack (for future ‘me time’ reading), and miss the shuttle by… 3 seconds.

And it is hot. It is oh my GAWD hot. But I have to soldier on, because at the end of all this lies the casino and the start of this amazing trip.


Got the car, a shitty white little rental car with about as much pizazz to it as a tray of Steve Wynn’s mother’s runny bread pudding.

Hell bent on a maintaining some healthy life-style changes, I drove straight to Hole Foods for some solid, nutritional supplies. The first thing that caught my eye was a two pack of wine in a box. Sold! Hey, wine’s good for you, right? I picked up bluesberries, strawberries, an assortment of zero fat plain greek yogurt, a loaf of organic pumpernickel bread, some plastic utensils, and a 12 pack of water. For protein, I had about 18 pounds of unsalted mixed nuts from Costco that I brought with me - hopefully free of Bogata-sourced pests, at this point.
All the great healthful birdfood I passed up at Hole Foods
Hopped onto the I-15 north, got off at Charleston, and made my way to the Cal, where I self-parked, schlepped bags, and checked in. Nice room, high in the west tower, facing Main Street. My host set up a meal coupon book and it was waiting for me.

And with that, I was ready to go gambling!

    1 comment:

    1. Yay, let the fun begin ~ another RF TR!

      ~ VPDana


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