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Friday, June 26, 2015

Berserk Video Poker

Day 10 - Wednesday - part 2

It's not very often you get to take a picture like this one. I can't believe I hit the Loose Doose!

With that milestone achieved, and my wallet full of Doose Hundies, there was only one thing to do, right?

That's right!

Go back and play more on the Loose Doose.

I know what you're thinking... I put a hundy in.

I know what you're screaming... but it's okay, really. It is.

Well, nothing dramatic happened. The Loose Doose remained Eloosive for my extra hundy, and I got about an hours play out of it. In fact, the reason I quit was that I simply couldn't play any more. I pounded that ancient upright for 3 hours total and I cashed out half of my hundy.

So yeah, it was a great roll on the Loose Doose, lots of entertainment, I came out ahead, and I got some coin in at Mandolin Bay.

Back at Lucks-whore, that quarter progressive by the bar was very near $1200. It was like $1195. This is a good number for Flushie, because once its over $1200, I get 30% tax withheld. So if the progressive his $1201 there's not much point in playing it, compared to when its at $1195.

(Having said that, with the asskicking I had taken this trip, it seemed likely that any tax withheld would be claimable backable.)

(Having said that, I was in the same position last year and had a stellar fall trip and ended up finishing ahead for the year. Where there are credits, there are hope.)

And, in fact, I played this quarter eating video slut until it teased me over $1200 and then I left it behind in the alley where it belonged.

Last chance for Canadian IRS tax victims... going... going...
In other words, I lost.

I think the meter on this progressive moves pretty quickly. I'd sat next to a guy the previous night and when I wandered back through half an hour later I noticed someone had the Royal - same guy, and it was dealt to him. I gave him props but the point is that the meter got up to $1200 again in one day. So this is a good play to keep an eye on. There a 9/5 Jacks paytable that could go positive if the royal progressive is high enough. I've seen it over $2K.

After that triple play Super Times Pay took my money and gave me a couple of pictures in return.

If you don't get good hands on the spinners, 300 credits can disappear in a heartbeat. Or more specifically, 16 hands. Something like that happened to me.

All of this Doosing had made me hungry and I heard a 4 pound bucket of Hole Foods mixed salad calling my choppers from up at Camp West Tower. I headed up there and chowed down. It was nice to eat something healthy after motorboating Eggs Tits for breakfast smothered with all that CTUG.

And then, to counteract the healthy salad, I packed a cigar and matches into my shirt pocket and headed back down. I wanted to see the pool, thinking I might go there later. One part of it looked really nice.

So nice, you had to pay extra to get in there.

Now, maybe I am stupid, but isn't what the fuck a resort fucking fee is fucking for???

What, I have to pay a resort resort fee to get into the good area of the resort???

God, it's so anti-customer.

Fuck you and your fancy paid access area.
Done with the pool far like ev-arr, I wandered through the casino again. I'd done some pretty savvy video pokering so I treated myself to some more video poker, at the Aurora Bar. A couple of twenties into their DDB progressive.

I could get to like Aurora Bar. It has beer, some neat decor, and some great sightlines for egg watching.

Not much happening on the DDB, and I retired to an empty armchair to sit, smoke a Hemingway Dink cigar, sip my drink, and watch the people go by.

The cigar is actually called a Hemingway Short Story. I, for one, did not know that Hemingway was so poorly endowed, but its true. The cigar proves it.

It was kind of funny - although I had a perfect people-watching spot, the half-wall made it so I could only see them from the elbows up. It felt kind of claustrophobic, in an egg-watching sense. But I took my time, enjoyed my smoke and my beer, and for once, annoyed no-one.

After that, I went to some machines which I know to have full pay dollar Bonus Poker on them, and being the conservative twit that I am, played 50 cents.

I hit one quad and stayed conservative and then hit a hand that made me laugh my ass off.

I held a lone Jack. (A black Jack in case anyone wants to piss on my parade...)

I hit Draw to get four more cards, and up pops this.

Yup. Four Aces on the re-deal. Nice, nice, nice, nice.

So, I did parlay up to dollars, and then... four Queens on the redeal. What was going on? Was this machine berserk???

I kept playing the beserk machine and decided to pound the dollars come what may. Maybe I'd get that needed dollar Royal. In response, the machine went... berserk.

What the flippin heck??? Dealt Kings, now.
Sadly, there's no huge win picture here... I played and played but, yeah, I lost it all back.

It was all part of the fun, I had no regrets this day as I'd been playing my ass off all day long, hitting about $10K in coin in.

I was down about $250 when I went to Mandalay Bay. The Loose Doose put me plus $240 or so. The various wins you see above financed my very expensive video poker habit.

Now, there were two questions on my mind. One - what's for dinner. And two - did the Loose Doose qualify me to open the Veuve Cliquot champagne?


    1. Congratulations on the Deuces! And the quads. Between my living in places similar to a third world country and you posting photos of FOOD and video poker, and my job accidentally not paying me while I am halfway across the world...I am going to book a three week trip to Vegas to eat and sleep and play video poker and to have a reason why I cannot quit my job. Or else I will. RIGHT NOW. Move over yaks, that yurt is MINE.

      1. Excellent Plan, Jennifer! (The 3 week Vegas trip, not the yurt abode...)

      2. Thanks jennifer. :) I've done a couple of two week trips but never 3 weeks. I'd have to make it a goal to be as frugal as possible for that. Probably spend a lot of time writing. :) BTW a poolside yurt at Bellagio will run you $200 a day.

    2. OK....clue me in...WTF issa yurt???

    3. Should've given that Lagunitas a go. Very refreshing.


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