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Friday, August 28, 2015

Who P'd on the eggs? (Aug 27-2015)

How to explain the stuff that happened today, Thursday??? It started odd, got weird, then strange, then weirder.

There is the realization that the last jizzcuzzi user shaved in it, there is bad luck leading to weird good luck, and there is a security guard involved.

Where to start?

At the beginning, I guess.

I had partial success at Starbucks getting the barista to write my name on the cup as St!mul8. This was as close as I got.

St, the blogger formerly known as St!mul8.
I headed back up the the Beatup Suite, enjoying helping the Luxor crack maintenance team buff the marble floor with my shoes. I'm always ready to help out in a pinch.

The inclinators as they are officially known (or 'drunk detectors' as they are unofficially known) move up and sideways. Between the first and 20th floor or so, they display 'EZ'. I have no idea why.

I also have no idea why the MILF boothling referred to the upper level of Luxor as the 'men-zanine'.

I did my Veeblework, which included taking some remote pictures of boss Norbert picking his nose. C.O.C. system testing is a heads up job.

We went down for a little play in the Luxor casino, and once again, the Quad Queen outdid me. two quads and a straight flush versus one straight flush for me.

We checked with the MILF people and both got two Block Party Swipe 'n Wipe chances. Each of them was $5 free slot play. I have a feeling its rigged.

I asked about a host to look at our play before we checked out, but they could not reach anybody.

I also stopped in at the front desk to talk to the supervisor one more time.

"Do you know what this is?" I asked him.

"No, I don't."

"It's a photo of a pubic hair in my jizzcuzzi. The so-called maid service you pretended to demand never happened."

"A pubic hair?..."

"Take a closer look," I barked, shoving my piPhone with the damning picture on it into his face.


I took the phone away.

"I... I'm so sorry..." he stammered.


He flushed.

To make a long story short and curly, the poor broken pathetic man removed the third upgrade charge from our bill, and all of the resort fees. Another $130 or so saved.

Feeling spent, we headed over to Randylay Bay, for breakfast buffet. The Flusher Way. We used up our express comps because the host, if we ever got one, would use them anyway. We had enough to cover both of us.

They have a pretty good breakfast offering over there. If you build your breakfast around a fresh omelette, you can't go wrong.

Who 'P'd on the eggs?

Quart size bottle of Cholula nector. I LOVE that shit.

[This Caption Writes Itself]
We hauled ass back to Luxor and I checked the Casino Host room by the security podium for the second time, looking for a host.

I had called my host, and emailed. That's when I noticed the email bounced. He was long gone from the pyramid, out on his pointy arse.

I tried the security guy and he called around but no-one answered.

I called the main number my old host had in his email sig, and left a message for some woman.

I went back to the MILF booth and they tried to call someone. No host on duty yet. What kind of place is this, it was 10:15am!

Back in the Beatup Suite, we got packed up. I'd asked my host at the California Hotel and Casino to set up a limo to take us from Luxor to (duh) The Cal at 11:00am. I gave my US phone number. She confirmed back that the request had been put in for Luxor to the Cal at 11:00am.

So, we headed down and were outside in the pork cochon at 11 on the nose. No apparent ride, and nobody had called me, which was kind of odd.

This is where it starts to get really weird.

OK, so we waited around. I did a few laps around the entrance, and in the lobby, looking for someone looking for me.

After half an hour of this I started trying to reach my host at the Cal. Not in, doesn't start till noon. I did get hold of someone, but she had no information and was basically not able to help.

I called the limo company that The Cal usually uses, no record of anything that resembled my ride.

I talked to some limo drivers. Nothing useful.

I'd left a message for my host to call me as soon as she got in,so we went back into Luxor to wait. We could have gotten a cab, but I am bound and determined to avoid giving cabs any business at all. Besides, I was enjoying the break from the stress of guerilla-style blogging and C.O.C. work.

We parked ourselves by the first group of machines we came to, luggage and all. With half an hour to wait, I thought I might as well try to find a host again. I picked off a woman walking along wearing a suit and carrying a clipboard.

"Are you a host?" I asked.

"No, but I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night, and I can get one for you," she said.

She took my players card, I told her where we'd be, and she said she would fetch a host. And that's exactly what she did.

And by the time I got back to the Quad Queen who was waiting placidly at the little bank of machines, with our luggage, stuck in a casino with nowhere to go and nothing to do, she'd somehow wrangled this onto the screen of a video poker machine.
$200 win. No kicker though.
In a couple of minutes, the host came over with my card and told me she'd taken another $100 off our room bill.


She also said that our comp up front was based on expected play, which we had satisfied, and not to expect extra comps like this every time, because she was over-comping us.

Yeah, $100 off on at least $30,000 coin in. And that's over-comped? Luxor can suck my C.O.C. software testing.

Now you know why we stay downtown so much.

Still, I was very thankful, and made nicey nicey. Because I was thankful. With all the wheedling and Flushering I'd done, I'd shaved the hotel bill from $430 down to just $130.

And, because our ride plans had gotten screwed up, and because we were so cool about it, QQ had hit an extra $200. That's $300 in karmic goodness all because of a mixup.

Fairly savvy Flushering, I would say.

That settled, there still remained one little wrinkle - how were we going to get downtown???


    1. What is a single pubic hair between friends?
      You whine too

    2. Royal, another fine story telling sit down for me. You are the master. And good work with comps at de Lux

    3. Okay doing the math $30,000 coin across how many days on say 97.5% payback. So doing my math comps should have been around $450 ish in real dollars. Then take into account the Luxor offers base rooms at $35 dollars a night weekdays, and under a hundred bucks on weekends. Um Yeah, doesn't sound like much of any favors were done for you. You got what you should have gotten.

    4. Here's why the elevator displayed "EZ". I've seen it before, but now I've learned something today.

      "On the elevator's position indicator, you may see the letters EZ. This is used to represent an Express Zone which is a long section of travel where the elevator makes no stops. Typically these are found in elevators that serve the upper reaches of tall buildings, thus bypassing several of the lower floors on the way."


    5. I like staying at Luxor because they offer a low-roller like me 2 free nights with $20 free play (I also get 3 free nights at MSS, but no free play) based on me only taking $1200 for a week long trip and that pays for cab, bus, food, drinks, cigarettes, gambling and anything else that might come up. Last time I was there I also had problems with hairs in the bathtub. Told them about it, they came and cleaned, but didn`t get all of the hairs out. Management has since emailed me and said to let them know when I book my next trip so they can block out a high floor room for me.


    Leave a message for Royal Flusher!