We decided to give T.I. some more play - rewarding them for having toned down the scent, increased the perks for video poker play, and for having full pay machines. The only downside is that the 'good' machines start at 50 cents and go up from there, so you need deeper pockets if you are going to play to any degree. So, we got off at Fashion Show Mall, and hustled over to T.I.
I had a little luck, but I could see that things had swung back to the way they normally were - with me struggling to hit the broad side of a Game King, while the Quad Queen reeled in quads like picking dandelions. I managed one, and she nailed three.
I pretty much had them all convinced that St!mul8 is my real name. The manager talked to me about it and I pointed out that although it was an odd name, it was a great conversation starter at cocktail parties.
Back at the machines, I was unable to get anything going. We finished up and I did a wipe 'n slide with my card and got a bunch of virtual tickets in a virtual draw. I deposited them in a virtual drum by pushing a button. The best part was I qualified for $25 in freeplay for earning at least 150 points. Some kind of promotion that started this month, now that we are in September. I blew through the $25 on dollar Bonus Poker. Got nothing.
We sizzled our way back to Wynn and played a bit there and that's where I hit my first wall - the end of my $400 stake. I was growing concerned, pissed off actually, and really frustrated. It was time to take a breather in the room, and that's what we did. The Quad Queen was having a great time, cruising along, not losing much, if any, and getting quads at the right times. Like having to test the C.O.C. software in Vegas, all I got was the shaft.
I convinced myself that, since it was the last night, the smart thing to do would be to cash more traveller's checks and continue to play something. The something in this case, was triple play Slutty Times Pay short pay Jacks or Better. Great choice.
I blew through $400 with nothing much to show for it. Oh, it was bad. It was so bad. I called out the results, nothing, nothing, 5, nothing, 10, nothing, 20, 5... We both agreed, objectively, that the Quad Queen got about three times the spinner multipliers that I got. My God it was brutal. It was a good thing the Absolut rocks with olives the size of hailstones were flowing.
We went and played near the front of the casino, some single line stuff. The Quad Queen made out just fine, and I tooled along playing video blackjack, one or two credits at a time, and sucking back the drinks. I tried some video poker after a long while, but of course, wasn't hitting.
|I blame the Absolut.|
So now I found myself, on the last evening, $800 in the hole. I felt like shit. I was really and truly quite upset. We'd even dressed up for a long pants dinner, albeit a casual one at the Terrace Point Blank thingy, but at least QQ had a dress on, and we'd be able to get a steak or something. (That was a whole other discussion, trying to find something that would fit both of our needs and wants. If you've ever been married, you've been in on the secret fun that this can be. Let's Choose a Restaurant! should be a required course in every pre-nuptial preparatory curriculum.
Well, the fucking place was closed, so we waltzed into the buffet at 15 minutes before closing. We ate. It was good. It was very similar to our previous foray into all-you-can-cram silage fest that is the Las Vegas buffet.
I struggled to stay positive - I owed it to my gambling attitude, and to the Quad Queen, to try to have fun - but boy, I was worn down by the frustration level on this trip. We'd both struggled a lot. And, I still had a frustration hangover from the previous trip. Dammit, I wanted a Royal!!!
We headed to the casino for one last shot at it.
And that's when I spotted her. There was only one like her in the whole world, and I worshipped the very spectacles she wore on her noble head, like some gladitorial protective eye armor.
That had to be a good sign, right?
|From the Spotted Moron Dept. Why would you play four coins on $10 instead of five? Or five coins on $5???|
And I did okay. And then I was dealt three sixes and had a chance for a quad. Or two. Or three. And by gum, I got one.
Did it ever feel nice to cash out some bucks. I returned the two twenties to Mrs. F that she'd lent me to get started. We agreed to have one last bash at the multi-play machines.
I sat down and the game on my screen wasn't Slutty Times Pay, it was 6/5 Bonus five play. At this point, I just didn't give a rats ass anymore. I knew I was done and beaten for this trip. (And I would have to tell the world about it via this blog, too. No hiding in pseudo-anonymity for me.)
I played a few hands and it was shite.
"What are you playing?" asked the Quad Queen.
"Horrid 6/5 Bonus five play. But I don't recommend it."
"I might as well give it a shot," she said and punched it up from the menu.
I realized the folly of my ways right then - it was stupid to be playing that game. I needed to be playing the higher payback Slutty Times Pay DDB - it held the only longshot chance I had at winning back some money, short of getting a Royal. And we know how hard that is now, right.
QQ played for a while and put more dough in and then she stopped.
"I'm done," she said.
But my machine was starting - finally - to show signs of life. I was actually going up in credits, and getting spinners, not just getting killed hand after hand. I even got a quad.
I had forty bucks left, two twenties, and I shoved them at her.
"Here. Play this."
I didn't want to be left alone when I completely crashed out the end of my trip.
She went back to five play Bonus. It was late (very late for us, who'd stayed on Eastern time, getting close to three in the morning for us.) She was practically nodding off at the machine, but still playing, slowly.
"I got a Royal," she said. Just like that.
"You got a Royal. You got a Royal??"
I looked over and there it was. A sweet, beautiful, wonderful Royal Flush. In clubs. From three. Holy shit! Hallelujah!!!!! At last, at last, at last, a Royal for the Flushers!
I took pictures, we talked about it, admired it, and she played a few more hands 'just in case', and then cashed out over $1100.
I played on and the Quad Queen rode shotgun, keeping me from stupid overtired mistakes, and cheering me on. After only maybe two or three minutes, I got a spinner.
3x, a nice littel 3x spinner, on Double Double Bonus.
And the deal came up three pointies. I held the three Aces and we made the usual noise. If I could just get the fourth... if I could just get a kicker...
I hit draw and saw the first line come up nothing, and the second line had a little box pop up in it that said "2400" and I was like, whoa, what? I must have gotten it, and holy shit, I did! Aces times three for 2400 credits. Sweet, sweet salvation! All of a sudden it had turned into an incredible, unbelievable finish. It was literally the last couple of minutes we planned to gamble this trip. I know this sounds far-fetched, but check the tickets, and you'll see I am telling it like it really was.
My day was retrieved, and we made a huge, huge dent in our losses, to the tune of $1800.
The awful feelings I'd suffered all day were gone and in their place a feeling of contentment. I hadn't gotten a Royal, but one of us had, and I'd turned in a respectable $200 or so loss on the day, instead of staring down pretty much a $1000 loss. I felt like a winner.
We went up to bed and slept, dreaming of kickers.