Food So Healthy, It's to Die For

Sunday Oct. 25, 2015 - Day 4

We got up at six in the morning, well rested, and ready for a different sort of day.

We had rented a house in Lake Havasu City for four days, just to try something different. For one thing, we wanted to check out if it would be somewhere we'd like to spend a chunk of time in the winter. I don't really want to be in Vegas for a month at a time - I want it to stay special. And its not really that warm here in the winter - Lake Havasu City is a bit warmer, all year round, including the summer when it is pretty much unbearable.

I arranged late check-out, which required that we get our keys rekeyed. They'd already been programmed to expire at noon or something.

At the lobby I noticed an interesting archeological artifact.

"That's an interesting item there, is that an altar given by a shaman or equivelant of your people to bring luck to all who grace it with their life force? Perhaps the offerings of sweets represent the manna of life and a prayer for good hunting, a solemn existence in one with Pele, and abundence for all?"

I'm very respectful of other people's cultures, mores, and beliefs.

"No," the lobby clerk said, "no, that's just an old statue that they gave us to put there, and we threw some candy on it for laughs. It sort of looks like Kermit."

"Well, what about the other thing there, what is it's cultural heritage and significance?" I asked.

"Bowling trophy."

We wanted to do some play, so we got at it, both of us playing on one card so we could keep our average daily coin-in up there, rather than diluting it between two. (Yes, it matters.)

I started on 50 cent Bonus Poker (Strict Rules of Parlay) and made it up to $2 play. I had about $200 on the meter and rather than cashing it, decided to give it a go. I don't get to play $2 too often.

Well, it plummeted. I lost $60 on the session and the Quad Queen lost $100. We did some 10-play Boner Pokus and I had a good run, playing for an hour and breaking even.

Mmmmm.

Somewhere along there we had a quick breakfast. We had done about $8K coin in and I had some business to do. After one more session, on which I lost more ground, we got packed up and hauled our junk down to the casino - where I dumped $160 on Boner Deluxe trying to get a quick $400 quad to get me back on track. I ended up losing it. I kind of let the morning get away from me and ended up losing $440. Damn.

The Quad Queen lost $200. I hauled ass to the Four Queen's Avis booth where my prepaid full size car turned out, somehow, to be a Nissan Versa.

"Isn't that like a micro car? A compact?..."

"It's not like a smart car or anything," she said.

"It's not like a Honda Fit or anything, is it?"

"Oh no, it's much better than that."

"Well... what about the car I booked and paid in advance for?"

"This is all I have. We get our cars from corporate and they haven't sent me any the last few days wah wah wah blah blah Charlie Brown's teacher wah wah wah."

I negotiated a discount and said I would try the car. I went up to the garage and picked it up - what an econocrackershitboxmobile. It didn't even have a fucking trunk. It had the suspension of a roller scate. It had 23 gerbil-power under the hood. And they hadn't been fed. And the car was dirty. It was as if someone had taken it camping (probably about a mile and a half away before it broke down) and they hadn't cleaned it.

And she was full of it, this piece of junk was EXACTLY like a Honda Fit, except that the Honda Fit is far superior. But it's really the same size.

I stopped on the street outside the Cal without paying for parking (Zounds!) and ran in to get the Quad Queen. We hauled out stuff out and it wouldn't all even fit in the hatchback - we had to fill the back seat.

I got on the phone to Avis right away and found out we could exchange the car - at the airport. Lucky for them it was on our way, as we planned to stop at Hole Foods before hauling ass to Havasu.

I pointed the econocrackershitboxmobile down the interstate off the 4th street onramp and managed to get her up to 63 miles an hour by the time we hit Tropicana, only because it was somewhat downhill in that stretch. We took 215 and wheeled into the rental car facility where I started reaming out anyone that would listen.

To be fair, within about 10 minutes we were on our way. And - score - we were driving in style in a brand new Chrysler 300 Grandpa de Ville with less than 3000 miles on the clock and full leather all the way through. This baby rolled like a dream, and I docked her with pride at Hole Foods.

It was fun picking up all kinds of healthy things to eat like Macrame Buds, BBQ organic free range paleo non-GMO chicken (left) wings, carob substitute non-chocolate gluten-free swiss water decaf first pressing brown disk snacks, hand made preservative and flavor free fair trade pemmican, and, of course, bottles of Absolut and Jameson's. This food was all so healthy, it was to die for.

With that sorted, we ate some of our stuff right at the store for lunch, and hit the road for Havasu.

RF: Day: -$440 Trip: +$2380
QQ: Day: -$200 Trip: -$1600
Combined: +$780