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Friday, October 30, 2015

Gamble Gamble Win Win Same Same

Saturday October 24, 2015 - part 2

We had the buffet for brunch. We walked in brandishing our fancy-ass gold cards and to my dismay, there was nobody in line that we could butt in front of. I took a picture of the empty line and the one other guy there says, “So, this is your first time in Vegas.”

“Excuse me, sir, I think not. I was simply taking a picture for my BLOG. Of the line that doesn’t EXIST. I have been to Vegas over 55 times - this is my 56th trip.” I felt pretty good about putting him gently in his place without ruffling feathers in a way that would leave this simeon pondering, as he lay in bed that night, if he had been insulted, and just what, if anything, he should have replied.

“Suck it 55 times, dick ears,” he said over his shoulder as he cut in front of me.

Instead of challenging this blowhard to pistols at dawn, I remembered that the best revenge in life is eating like a pig, and I managed to round up a decent assortment of things to make a meal. There’s nothing like a meal with 394 different ingredients.

Next stop - the famed Loose Doose. I had decided that since I’d had lots of quads, I would play $100 on quarter Loose Doose, come what may, and I wouldn’t even mind getting quads on it, which pay for shit on Loose Doose.

It went pretty well, until the time I was dealt four tens and then felt miserable about it. I felt even more miserable when I realized I’d stupidly held the fifth card, instead of trying for a deuce to make five of a kind. Put that down on the degenerate side of the degenerate / savvy coin.

The other thing I did was one of those ‘what should I hold’ confusion holds where you hold and change your mind and swap things around and think about it and the boldly make a decision and stick with it and realize that you have held 2, 3, 4, 8. Yeah, that’s a winner winner chicken dinner right there. The only thing you can make out of that is numerical alphabet soup. With chicken.

I was dealt three deuces twice but couldn’t get my oil changed, and I also ended up with three deuces a couple of times more - but that was as close as I got.

Now, at that point, the Quad Queen was having one hell of a time. She was down $500 on the day. I have never seen her have such a rough start to a trip, and choppy too.

She went to play more multiplay while I was tickling the Loose Doose, and opted for Double Double Bonus Slutty Times Pay (aka Spinners).

And what to my wonder should appear in my piPhone as a text? Aces kicker for the Quad Queen. Yup. She was all of a sudden even on the day, pretty much.

I tried some Aces no Face for fun, but dumped $60 on it. It’s still a cool, rare game to play though. When you are dealt Ace or Aces without any face cards, the machine spits coins out right away. Then you play your hand normally. I got dick though. Or maybe dick ears.

Quad Queen joined me on the single line machines and we decided to play some 50 cent Double Double Bonus (Strict Rules of Parlay). Hey, I was dealt four Kings for $120 or so, and ramped it up to dollars. And there, two minutes later, I hit four deuces for $400.

I put my service light on for an Itchy card and I could hear the Happy Video Poker Orgasm Music all around me. It took a while for the girl to come and I mentioned how busy it was.

“You’re pretty busy, eh, so many winners today!” I said.

Expressionless, she kept writing out my card and said, “I know. What can we do.”

I played a few more hands and was also dealt 333 but couldn’t catch the fourth. I cashed it out, up solidly on the day.

I went up to the room to have a break (stopping at Dave’s Bar on the way to get a Caesar with the gold card, so I could top it up in the room and make it a real drink) and do an accounting and I found I was up $760 on the day. I was having a pretty good day, and with that much cushion, I could probably count on a winning day.

Meanwhile, the Quad Queen continued playing at Main Street and… lost $500. Did I say choppy? Yeah choppy.

She showed up in the room with some keno tickets so we relaxed, playing keno and having a few cocktails. I came close to an $800 win, with 4 out of 5 of my numbers in the first half of the draw, but the last 10 balls were not rolling my way. Balls do what they want to do.

We planned to have dinner at the Second Street Grille at Fremont, so we headed out to go play Spinners there and make a reservation for 7:00 pm.

On the way out of the Cal, the Quad Queen spied the dollar machines with Boner Deluxe on them. We agreed to try a hit and run of just $20 each. 

Well mine hit and we ran with the extra $400 to the Fremont!

We got the credentials and hit the machines. And boy did we hit them. We both pretty quickly parlayed from triple to five play and the quads were raining. By the time it was 7:00ish I cashed out when I was just above the $500 watermark. Within a couple of hands, the Quad Queen was also just above $500.

She hit the cashout button and that’s when I noticed something weird.

“I cashed out the same amount. 2022 credits.”


“Yes. Really.”

“Really? The same?”

“Yes. Really.”

We were pretty shocked, as you can tell from the riveting transcript.

Man, I was killing it. What a day I was having! Time for a great dinner and then the last stretch of gambling after.


    1. Love the session (day) you had - keep it going!

    2. So it's the QQ who leaves the dealt quads on the screen? lol

    3. Where's the 10x multiplier when you need it? I had an 8x royal in 2010 on Slutty times pay. Think I'm back to even now.

    4. Maybe I shouldn't ask, but was holding the wild-royal flush with 3 deuces the right play? Or should you have kept just the deuces.


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