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Monday, November 9, 2015

Pass the Sricrotchi Sauce Please

I love this button.
Tuesday November 3, 2015 - Day 13

It was pretty gross having to get up and reload from the little brown envelope I'd so lovingly filled with $100 bills at the Nugget. The stack was dwindled down to the point where it wasn't a stack anymore. It wasn't even a pile. It was more of a smattering.

But reload we did, in order to hopefully win back some dough from the casin-ough.

Encouraged by my results at craps, I vowed (yet again) to play some blackjack. It's a little slower, a little steadier, and maybe I could make some money at it. It's hard to hit a big score all at once without putting out some big bets, but I had kind of had my fill of excitement for a while. And I'd more than had my fill of losing for a while.

The Queenus Quattuor had too. She actually stayed in the room while I headed down. I think she wanted to bathe or some other stupid activity that isn't gambling or drinking.

Things have been busy with the SEMA convention in town. It was early though, so I figured I'd be ok. I went to Starbucks for my fix - and they were lined up out the door with SEMAmen. Fine. I knew better. I went to the other Starbucks out in front of T.I. And they were loaded with SEMAmen as well. I didn't even have a shot at it.

Now where, I thought, could I get a quick coffee?

The bar!
No bar bars me, bar none.
And actually, they had that dollar game with the $8K plus progressive - which hadn't yet been won. I thought I'd drill a test hole with a $20 bill. The coffee came in a big ole mug and was pretty good.

And guess what, I got on a run on that $20! Just the way you love to start your day in Vegas.

I played that sucker up to $280, but wasn't getting a sniff at the huge Royal. When it dropped down to $200 I cashed out.

No, I didn't play it into the ground, I cashed out. I know that's hard to believe.

Moving down the bar, I started again with another $20 bill, this time in quarter Double Double. Flushie was hot, hot, hot, I tells ya!

Again, I cashed out some dough and took a break, beckoning the Quad Queen to join me for breakfast.
Some fuckin horse thing from like a billion years ago prolly.
First, I cornered the market on condiments. you can never - EVER - have too much Sricrotchi sauce.
QQ had a boring old omelette with Uncle Sam's Cheese on. And hash browns. Same as you get downtown but about double the price.

I, however, opted for an exotic Mexican breakfast, the likes of which I've never seen, and the name of which I still have no idea of. I think it was something like cucharoholeblon with chicken pollo con mojito in a moleskin sauce. It turned out to be a plate of microwaved cheezed doritos, pretty much, with sauce, a bit of chicken, and eggs on.
It's a Pan! It's a Plate!... It's a Platepan! (Or is it a Panplate?)
There wouldn't be much sun to enjoy back home as we were just heading into the spring of the winter season, to coin a metaphor. I took a mo' out by the pool, to soak it up some.

As I lounged and unwound, enjoying the sun, I tried to stay positive in my thoughts, thinking that maybe today would be my day. And then, I noticed my butt felt kind of cool, and relaxed. And cool. Hmmm.

That's when I realized that I'd repeated the same blunder I'd made that horrible fateful day at Art Vandalay Bay (not to mention that fateful breakfast over Macho Grande).

Yup, my lounger had given me a bad case of what the cabana boys lovingly call 'wet ass'. Fortunately, I'd caught it before it had completely soaked me. I stood facing the hotel for 15 minutes, baking my buns, and roasting my nuts. It sort of worked and I headed in to the casino, fanning the ass of my jeans when nobody could see.

Okay, fine, fanning the ass of my jeans when not many people could see. Happy?

Remember that time at the Golden Nugget when Mrs. F. was dealt that Slutty Times Pay hand that could have netted her $5000 for each Royal she could get out of 4-to-a-Royal? The one that was a once in a lifetime chance? The one that bombed?
Royal Flusher's Most Extreme Video Poker Fails, coming this fall!
See that up there? That's a flashback pic from that time at the Golden Nugget etc. etc.

I was playing some short pay 50 cent Slutty Times Pay machine on a $20 bill. It was pretty much the first machine I came to and I sat my soppy butt down at it and got it going a bit.

I called up the Quad Queen on the piPhone MugTime app, and this is what she saw:
Four to a Royal. 50 cents. With 4x spinner.

This was an even bigger deal than the one she'd tried for at the Nugget.

Now, let's just remember... if I had been dealt the Royal, I would have been looking at a $24,000 score. But noooooooooooooooo!!!! It had to be this way.

I had three shots at a Royal, any one of which would be an $8000 win. It was possible to win two out of three, and in a super longshot, I suppose, it was possible still to hit all three.

The situation was incredible. It was the kind of situation that one might foreshadow that there would be a 'to be continued' thingy at the bottom of a blog post describing it. Could Flushie be that cruel?

Could he?

To Be Continued...


    1. You suck right about now RF. Hopefully is royals flushed fourth fifth and maybe sixth.

    2. Who said we enjoyed these cliffhangers?! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
      But I hope it hit!

    3. Ha! Just caught the "Royal Flusher's Most Extreme Video Poker Fails, coming this fall!"


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