Shootin With the Diceman

Monday November 2, 2015 - Day 12

I woke up feeling surprisingly good. It was a new day, and Monday morning in Vegas is better than Monday morning almost anywhere else.

John, Paul, George, and Rin-

The sun was coming up over the mountains to the east and enveloping the Strip in its warmth and energy. The buildings of the Strip were lucky to have the sun. Philosophically speaking, I was hoping the pre-supernova fucker would be lucky for me too.

We talked about our game plan and next thing you know, we were back at the Killer 50 Cent Machines of Death.

Why do I do this? I have trouble believing that what happened could happen and should have happened. But it did, so it was so bad that it was worse than what I believe could happen. An as such, I refuse to believe it could happen again. And I am supposed to trust in the math and statistic right? And these are the best machines in the building.

Sure that the previous day's debacle would not be repeated, I agreed to tentatively play the Killer 50 Cent Machines of Death.

Also, I wanted my money back.

Thank goodness the Quad Queen got some hits, but basically, these things were still sucking my dough.

I finally got on the board and did a volatility parlay to Double Double, and got another. Was this thing turning around?

Eights.

Eights. Again.

I played on, lost some back, and then parlayed up to dollars to really hit it hard... and lost back everything I had. All $245 that was in the machine.

That happens sometimes, on the KFCMOD, those greedy fuckers.

Meanwhile, some interesting things were happening - what I recognized as 'gear' was being wheeled into the casino.

My finely tuned Savvy Flusher Senses led me to believe that some sort of visual recording might - just might - be going to happen in our vicinity.

I sidled up to what looked like a member of the crew. Taking stock of the fellow, I found I was looking at what might be the director of the production. I was able to divine that I had landed in the middle of the shooting of something called "DICE".

This, I deduced rather brilliantly, must be some sort of gambling story.

"Shooting Dice, eh? heh heh..." I said to the curly headed too-goodlooking-not-to-be-in-movies Crew Guy.

He semi-nodded and spoke something into a walkie-talkie.

"De Niro?..."

No answer.

"Pesci?..."

No answer.

"Playing coy... I 'feel' you man." You have to know how to talk to Hollywood types when you are talking to Hollywood types.

"Ahhh.... Clooney?!"

I was on to him now.

"It's Clooney, isn't it," I said, folding my arms.

"Andrew Dice Clay," came the reply. "And you're in the way. Would you mind..."

He shooed me back.

"I'll just move out of your way..."

So I'd blown my winnings on the KFCMOD and my buy-in as well. We tried the Slutty Spinners and lost $100 each there.

Time for breakfast at the coffee shop, we decided. On the way over, there was more action in the Dice department, including the appearance of the Diceman himself.

All these are fake people.

Andrew Dice Clay avoiding me.

We watched a scene being rehearsed and then filmed. All the people walking by in the aisle of the casino were extras. They included fake cocktail waitresses.

I sidled up to one of them after what they call a 'take'.

"Nice 'take'. I think we got it."

She looked briefly toward me and said nothing.

"Acting..." I said mysteriously. I nodded and smiled knowingly and squinted a little bit like de Niro would. "Act. Ing..."

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

I gestured at her tray.

"Stunt cocktails?"

Filming 'DICE' was very hard work because the young acting waitress looked frustrated. Or maybe annoyed.

"You know, you were the best waitress of the bunch," I said. "Very convincing. VERY."

 It was time for another 'take'.

In this one, a man (probably a stunt running man) ran down the aisle, shouting something about needing a milkshake.

I stood and watched for a while longer but nothing discernable was happening.

All of a sudden, the Diceman walked right up to me. I was ready. I knew just what to say.

"Howyadooin'"

He dropped an empty coffee cup into the garbage can right next to me and kept on going without any acknowledgement.

I understood the obvious - Hollywood acting is a serious business, and you can't always make time for the important bloggers in your midst.

Meanwhile - breakfast still awaited.