How Great a Guy Am I

Friday at T.I. continued...

There's nothing worse than being left behind while your partner in crime does a 16 day solo trip to Vegas, leaving you holding the bag and not much else.

I thought about this ahead of time and did something very wonderful for Mrs. Flusher. I'd arranged for the delivery of a rowing machine for her, to arrive while I was staying and gambling at T.I., eating great food, relaxing in the sun, having a blast. That way, we would both have ship-themed weekends! Together! And, she could get into great shape for my return.

My 'vessel' for the weekend, as it were.

Sometimes even I am surprised at how great a guy I am.

Hers: C'mon aboard for some Stay-at-Home nautical fun, Mrs. F., courtesy of Mr. Thoughtful!

For earning so many points, you can get entries into a free slot tournament. I earned, I participated. It was sort of fun, but they had a penchant for playing too-loud music, yelled over by a somewhat entertaining M.C. who, like me, wasn't quite as funny as he thought he was.

My very first pull netted a 3000 point hit. A jackpot. So I really tried to get as many spins as possible, because I kind of thought I had a chance. I kept an eye on the other peoples' scores around me and for sure, I was way out ahead of them. I finished with over 5,000.

My 2nd round blew - I didn't bother to stick around for them to write the score - 1100 or something - down.

I had some lunch (slice of pizza maybe? I forget) and took on the Killer 50 Cent Machines of Death.

Will I never learn?

Next thing I knew I was in for $200 and hadn't even seen a cocktail waitress, let alone gotten a drink.

I played only Bonus Poker and kept changing machines (drilling test holes!).

Then it was $300. But I got on the board, finally.

Free adrenalin.

Had four-to-a-Royal dealt after parlaying to dollars - didn't get it. I think I am about 0 for 200 on four-to-a-Royal. I have this idea that I will go back through the trip reports and see when the last time was that I got a Royal from four-to-a-Royal. I think it is about 3 years ago, maybe more, at the bar at the Four Queens. Quarters.

I ran out of money and ran out of T.I. into the sunshine. I thought I'd take a walk (for my health) and try to find Casa Fuente in the Foreskin Shops at Caesars Palace.

Not only is the Foreskin Shops purposefully and expertly spirally convoluted, so that you can't possible find your way anywhere without walking by every single over-priced shop in the place, they'd moved Casa Fuente at some point. Google maps wasn't a help, and all the maps in the Shops were out of date or too obfuscated to be understood.

After about an hour of going in circles, I found the place and picked up a few indulgences. I bought some cigars too. I was pleased to find a dark wrappered Hemingway Short Penis Story for $10 (compare to $14 at the Four Queens).

The sun was great, it was quite warm really, vindication for fleeing winter.

On the way back I stopped at Mirage to confirm how they've ruined the place since it's heyday. I dropped $20 in a slot and continued on, back to T.I.

Mirage, that was once decorated, and is no more.

Back at the Slutty Times Pay machines, I ran into a bit of luck.

Two X pay Aces (no kicker though) for a quick $400.

I cashed the $400 ticket and started again with a $20 bill.

Again, I could not for the life of me get a drink. I finally had to cash out and ask a floorman to flag somebody down. It was double aggravating because I was right outside the CWs drink cave entrance, and could see them coming and going on the other side of the bank of machines. But never could I catch their eye in time, and if I did, I probably wasn't in their section.

This could have been a real beauty. Got a shit deal though. 18x spinners. Jeez.

So the CW comes by after being flagged by the floorman, and she was downright rude.

"And?..."

I looked at her. Is that how to greet a customer?

I thought about my reply.

"And?... what?"

"You want something?"

I decided not to bother playing games and blurted out my drink order. Don't ask me why I tipped when she came with it.

She never came back either, and I knew just what to do.

Hit the bar.

Yes, the bar, home of short pay, high volatility take a flyer video poker, and service that couldn't be beat. A drink that never got empty, and lots of laughs with the barkeep too.

One kicker away from $500. Oh well, $100 kept me even at the bar.

 More to come!

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