|Poor fuckin' bird.|
Dinner time. My notes say that at that point I was down $8 on the trip. I'd earned enough points to play some sort of game on a kiosk that netted me some slot play. $35 or something. That along with the $250 in the offer had kept me going.
I'd never set foot in Gillies Podunk Saloon and Geezer Line Dancing Emporium, and I wasn't about to now. No, instead, so as to not attract attention, I walked on my hands through the place and secured a spot at the bar.
They kinda indicate that ribs and other smoked goodies are their specialty (along with pickup truck babes and beer) so I ordered ribs.
|Note how those tough, tough ribs stand up firmly and proudly on the plate... Goopy horrid beans, and some sort of deep fried coronary balls round out the offering.|
They looked mighty fine, and they tasted mighty fine, but they were tough as shoe leather. I mean, these things were tractor tire tough. I got talking to the guy beside me who'd had them too, and he had the same experience. We could barely cut these things apart.
Long story short, we ended up getting free shots of Gentleman Jack from the hot bartender, and had a discussion with the manager. He didn't give a shit though, and didn't do anything on the bill. I think the barkeep felt bad and that's why she laid on the booze.
I didn't care to make a fuss but forget about Gillies for ribs. In fact, forget about them for sides too. The whole thing was a gawdawful mess, in spite of looking kind of edible.
Completely addled by a rather moist session at the bar and neanderthal meat-tearing rib stomach (plus Gentleman Jack), I waddled/stumbled out of there (on my hands again, so as to not attract attention).
Some line dancing?
I have to say, I don't get line dancing. Maybe it is a fun thing to do, but I also thought 'I'm a little teapot short and stout' was a fun thing to do when I was 3. Apologies to line dancers out there, but I just don't get it.
I think the woman on the left knew I wasn't a fan - check out the stink-eye I got from her at the end:
Why not hang out with the 'Stones?
I had vowed to give penny slots a decent try, so decided to feed some hundred dollar bills to Fred and Barney.
You know why I don't often pay penny slots? Because they don't pay back near as much as video poker for starters, but mostly, I can't understand the rules.
Think I'm a rule wimp?
I saw none other than Stephen Fucking Hawking at the machine next to me, crying like a baby because he couldn't figure out how the combinations on his screen caused him to win 339 credits.
"Suck it up, Physics Boy," I muttered, and slid $100 into Bedrock.
A big tear rolled down Hawking's cheek.
"Look Steve, there's a Rubble Zone and a Flintstones Zone. You have to have Bonus Fred or Bonus Barney PLUS a Bonus symbol in the LAST REEL to initiate a Bonus. Your Betty's have multiplied by 2 times. Quit whimpering and spin, Poindexter! Sheesh!"
Because I don't play less than full coin in on any slot, the first 14 or 15 spins returning nothing at $3.60 a spin kind of weren't fun. I liked the background music though.
I kept at that, lost $100, put $100 more in (because stupid) and started to hit some things, and it was kinda fun.
I think I put a third $100 in and started to sing, "You're the lucky num-bah, lucky lucky num-bah, etc etc num-bah! We cannot lose, we cannot LOSE!"
And then things sort of seemed to happen for me - some sort of Yabba Dabba Doo bonus round.
Well that worked out pretty well.
Like maybe $100.
Then it was time for a good bash of video poker. I had some hits as you can see, but at the end of this next stint, I was down $220.
|Two out of five, not bad.|
|13x spinner - got nothing. Annoying, needless to say.|
The T.I. slot club is very busy - there's a million ways to earn and redeem points, and all kinds of scans, multipliers, this and that going on.
You can get quality merchandise for your points, like "Harmon Kadron" speakers.
Then I checked the slot tournament board. I came in 3rd with my savvy slot tournament technique.
Another $100 for me!!! I missed $250 by the slimmest of margins, a shame, really.
If you go in their free slot tournament, my advice is to make sure you get slot machine number 2.
End of the day, might as well take a last shot at dollar Boner Deluxe, right? My go-to last chance game to make a quick $400. It almost never works, but tonight, it did.
I started at 50 cents, and parlayed up to $1. Then the big boys came out to play.
Just like that, my day was restored. I hit the hay, line dancing style, down only $100 on the day. If every day were like that, I wouldn't be too unhappy.
If you love Las Vegas the most,
Click Facebook Like so you can boast.
Learn even more with every post.
Royal Flusher Vegas from coast to coast.