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Sunday, February 28, 2016

The Singularity...With Bacon

Saturday Jan 23, 2016

There's nothing like rising on a bright and fresh Saturday morning, heading to the casino, hitting a quad, an getting propositioned.

Not once. But twice.

I think my Saturday morning was these girls' late, late, late Friday night.

I'd done $12,000 coin-in the day before, which kind of surprised me, but on the other hand, I did play a lot of quarter multi-play.

The second proposition chick (who didn't have an adams apple at least, unlike 'chick' number one), ended up making nicey-nicey with a dodgy looking guy on the other side of the bank. And it turns out, he was her boss. And they got into a loud, long argument which featured him saying in a thick Russian accent, "Doesn't matter how much I win lose."

It got heated and I took that as a cue to clear out and go try the spinners.

Well. Here's how I described it:

It would disguise it's nature a bit longer, but this was the moment your foot goes out from under you on the banana peel, the moment you notice the first loose thread, the moment the car only just 'clicks' when you try to start it, the moment they say to you, "we need to talk', the moment your team is three scores down, the moment you fail to land the triple-lutz and spin slowly across the ice into the boards.

In fact, that was the moment, the singularity, where you can identify that this trip took on its true character and slid down the stenchy slime-covered sluice of my life, quivering and breaking up like so much formless rotting gelatinous goo, into the dumper.

Breakfast buffet seemed like a good idea.

"It's hard to fuck up eggs." - Royal Flusher

I had omelette man do his omelettey thing, and hunted around for whatever, and struck pink gold in the form of smoked bacon, the likes of which I've never had before. This was a totally new experience for me. It was about 3/8" thick, soft, succulent, smokey, tender, and delicious. I rounded out my plate with an inflate-o-weenie, which is what your dick looks like after staying out too long in the sun at a nudist camp.

Zoom in on that bacon, Jimmy Poon...

Even though I was stuffed, I went back for Smoked Bacon II, the Sequel, and some fruit to cancel out the over-cheesed omelette, which was at that very moment, hardening like silicone sealant deep in my arteries. I must have the best tasting arteries around.

So back to the casino, and I was already in damage-control what-if holy shit recovery mode. My sort of rough stop loss for this trip was $500 a day, and I was within spitting distance of that, and it was only just after sunrise.

I managed one quad and lost it back.

I took a break and did some shopping at CVS. Rubbie plonk wine portions in little loser bottles that double as crack pipes when empty.

I'd brought some electronic gear with me with the idea of doing a couple of things - trying to fake out the hotel and use more devices than they allow by going through a little mini router - and trying to get a Chromecast working on the hotel TV so I could save gambling funds and watch what I want off my iPad. Same as home.

I fooled with that in the room, had no luck whatsoever, and drank a bunch of the plonk. Took some sunshine.

Took a nap.

I made lunch out of some of my emergency cheese, and an apple from the Maple Leaf Lounge in Toronto. Free-dee-lish!

Recharged, I took a small budget, $130, and lost it almost immediately.

Came back up to the room. Drank another degen mini-hootch.

I had some things I could do for free - I'd earned more slot tournament entries, for one thing.

After a suitable punishment break, I went down and on my way to the tourney area, pumped a test $20 bill into 'those machines'.
"If you'd been playing Double Double, you'd have won $1000 you know..."

Good stuff - I had a bit of a budget back.

In the process, I had four to a Royal a couple more times. Big deal.

I struggled along, and burned through... $200.

"I need some magic, and I need it now." Sometimes I say this out loud and then things happen.

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    1. royal, another good read but appears the trend u have already shared explains the ending none of us want to see so we pray for some highlight moments that only you in your divine ways of wisdom can bestow upon's that for a short sentence....

    2. That "pink gold" bacon appears to be back fat bacon. OMG the best in the world but lethal.

      Hoping things start to take a different turn.


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