Robert, my Lyftber driver (who bore a striking resemblance to Billy Idol), and I, got along very well. Before we knew it we were rolling down the interstate on our way downtown, chatting like old pals.
"Know any Vegas jokes?" said Robert with a sneer.
"Yeah, I know some good ones."
I told him the one about the near-sighted hooker at Caesars Palace, the high-rolling Maharaja roller with a penis as long as his wooden leg, and the ukulele-playing lesbian triplet trapeze act. I figured everyone had heard that one, but Robert hadn't.
He laughed his ass off at the punch line, pounded the turn signal, and expertly swung across four lanes of traffic to the right, to catch the downtown exit.
He let out a howling, wild yell, like a rebel might, "Whoooo hooooooooo!" he yelled, "that is some funny shit! Oh my God that's funny. You know any more? Tell me some more. More!! More!!!"
But we'd pretty much arrived at our destination, the Downtown Grand Hotel and Casino, where I had secured three comped nights, $15 free play, $15 food, and not much more.
Lyftber was a success, and I ended up paying $6 for my ride from T.I. downtown - including a $5 tip.
At the time of this trip, the CEO of the Downtown Grand was a fellow Canadian, guy by the name of Simms. And he'd put in this great promotion to change Canadian dollars at par (down to a certain level - not below 75 CAD cents on the US dollar). A great deal for a degen Canuck like me.
In fact, this promo was so successful (for players) that it is discontinued (at least, it no longer figures prominently on the DTG web page), and CEO Simms has been sent packing. A sad day for Canadian Vegas casino CEOs everywhere downtown.
I would imagine it won't be long before people are daring each other to 'spend a night alone in the old Simms place' (with apologies to Luther, and the old Simmons place).
It was a bit early to check in but I tried anyway - and used the $20 bait again. To make a long story short, I don't think it did a damn bit of good. I got exactly the room type I'd booked. Yeah it was on the side of the building I wanted, but that was hardly worth $20.
So the $20 trick bombed at the Downtown Grand.
The room wasn't ready, but the lobbyist told me if I gave her my cell number she could text me.
"Text...?" I said, "What's that?"
|The Downtown Grand is starting to understand what downtown gamblers want. If only there were some.|
That's a great deal, considering the dollar was worth about 70 cents US at the time. You do the math, or leave it to Jimmy Poon.
I had started playing $20 at a time, mostly on Bonus Poker. I'd play exactly the coin in to match the play I'd put on the machine, and then see what I had. If I was even or better, I'd cash out. If I was pretty close to even, I'd cash out. If I was far from even, I'd keep playing in a bid to hit evenness or lose the stake trying.
So, insert a break to haul my crap up to the room, confirm that my $20 had got me nothing, and get back down to the casino.
I decided on the bar, and played four or five different games. Nothing much was happening in the way of quads, but I was breaking even.
I was playing some Bonus Deluxe and got partway through the mini-session and I thought to myself, if I get Aces kicker on this, I'm going to be pissed.
The Aces kicker progressive on Double Double Bonus was up to $700 plus dollars. I've snapped off, in Mickey Crimm parlance, this progressive before, so why not now? Always the optimist when it comes to video poker. I switched over.
It took three hands. I held a pair of Aces (a very savvy hold in this game), and hit Draw.
Nailed it for about $734!!!!!!!!!! Oh hell, yeah!!!!
I played through the rest of my Canadian at par bucks and $15 freeplay and ended up with this.
A total of $1064.75. (Anyone want to check it?)
That, right there, is some savvy gambling.
I had an entertaining afternoon of hammering the video poker at the Grand, ending up with three Ace hands and four-to-a-Royal hands, rocking out to their 70s deep album cuts, and enjoying the feeling of having had a decent win to salvage my day.
It was a nice evening, still fairly warm out. One of my planned cost saving measures this trip was to eat a number of meals at Magnolia's using the comp dollars on my card, left over from when we were playing heavy at the Four Queens. I still had $250 or something, and with their very reasonable prices, the $250 would go a long way. I like to eat there so it was all good.
|Behold - the so far unused Single Lonely Diner table - and I'm not at it!|
|After. In case you didn't know.|
Well how fucking helpful is that, exactly?
"Well, I'm here in Vegas. I'm not in Chicago."
"Well you can't get real deep dish pizza unless you're in Chicago. You shouldn't bother."
I gave up talking to the mook.
It's not like there is some special geographic magic pizza zone around a particular place on the planet that a type of food can be made there and nowhere else on earth.
It had been a long day and I had an early start for GrommetCon 2016 the next morning. I headed back to the Grand, played a few hands, and headed up to the room to prepare.
All in all it was a pretty great day.
I finished up $270 on the day. Maybe things were going my way now?
As I drifted off to sleep, I heard a distant high-pitched voice shouting from the old Simms place.
In the midnight hour,
Don't cry more more more.
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