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Friday, April 8, 2016

El Cortez Country Throw-up Gravy Train

You know what Flushiepants says.

"Tomorrow is another day!" And, in particular, that tomorrow day was today!

It was also going home day. And I was determined to enjoy it, no matter what. I'd hit rock bottom the night before in attitude and in deed. It takes a positive frame of mind to win. And scared money loses.

Besides, I had a job to do. That job, was to do $5K coin in at the El Cortez Hotel and Casino - enough to get my Thursday and Friday nights comped.

Never mind that I wouldn't be actually staying over on Friday night - I was on the midnight red-eye home. But I'd need the room until 9:00pm or so. It's an awful long haul without a room on the last day when you are booting a red-eye.

I got moving and a quick check of the ole slot club card showed me that I'd done a measly 1000 points the night before. I needed a total of 2000 to cover the room, and 3000 for Friday. At a buck a point, that meant $4K coin in. Should be do-able with some luck. Shame that I'd had almost none for two weeks, but there it is.

Things were so bad on this trip that I was ready to take some desperate measures. There was freeplay available on both our accounts (my and Quad Queen's) at the Smug Nugget. With offers possibly based on daily average coin in, doing a hit-and-run on the freeplay could affect future offers. But I didn't care. The future was in debt and the future was right fucking now.

Okay, so burn the bridges and use the freeplay. I'd figure out exactly how later. First off, I needed a decent gambler's breakfast, and that mean copious amounts of Country Throw-up Gravy gracing, flowing, and oozing over cackleberries and whatever else.

Siegel's 1941 at the El Cortez has such an item on the menu and I ordered up, with coffee of course.

That's some fine looking CTUG right there, that is. Smothered a chicken fried meat, and came with eggs and taters. Breakfast had me feeling like a winner! As opposed to someone who would drunkenly mouth off to a keno lady.


Behold, Gambler's breakfast, surgeon's friend.

El Cortez has come a long way from the kind of place where you could get a greasy $4 breakfast.

Now, by comparison, in 5 short years, it's the kind of place where you could get a greasy $12 breakfast.

But, you know, I'm not sure I'd want to go back to the mud yellow ceiling tiles methadone and nicotine-stained finger El Cortez of old. It's nice having fellow patrons without spray paint stained noses from huffing in the alley.

I hit the Parlour Bar, playing my secret quarter machine, and lost $60 to start the day right. Damn.

"That's good. That will wake me up," I said to myself, out loud.

And if I lost $120, why that would really wake me up. That would be really good thing. A $300 loss would be like a jolt of adrenaline, thoroughly wake me up, and definitely be good because I'd be so awake and ready to fight hard and win.

I hit the alcove next and tried a lone $20 - carefully in control, just one $20 bill - in my old school Bonus Poker machine.

By God I got on a bit of a run and got that sucker up to $100 on the meter. I had a shot at a dollar win.

But there's the rub. I stopped playing at $100 exactly. Cash out? Play it and hope for a win? What.

The Quad Queen, electronically consulted, suggested that I play $40 of it. A reasonable suggestion and that's what I did.

Another Almost.
I played down to exactly $60, and with one deft motion, hit Deal. Huh?


Fucking degen. I played it out. So I was down $80 on the day.

But I'd had a great breakfast! And I'd had a great run on dollars for just $20 in. I got as high as $150 but never hit a quad. Shame, that.

Some quads made themselves known though, on another game. I clawed my way back, some.

Good ol' Boner Deluxe. Not only did it come through with me, my parlay actually worked and I hit a second dealt one at the 50 cent level.

Got the kicker. It doesn't count.
When it's good it's very good, and when it's bad it's bitter.
I tried a twenty in Megabucks in the El Cortez lobby, just in case. $21 actually, it's a $3 pull and a cardinal rule is you never, ever, ever play a big progressive like Megabucks without playing max coin in.

It's so unfair how there's a guy out there that has won Megabucks twice, when I haven't won even one time.

The El Cortez Keno Lounge, from which I am (self) barred due to no class behavior.
Now it was time to do my final Fremont Street walkabout. I had a few places I wanted to stop, and the Quad Queen and I had another round of free play at the Nugget that I was going to burn. It might screw up future offers, but this trip was into Apollo 13 territory and I was going to pull out all the stops to try to make it an enjoyable and hopefully winning last day.

And what they hey, at this point, I was up $80.

I strolled out into the bright, bright Vegas sunshine.

If you want to win all day
Follow the Strict Rules of Par-lay
Hit a quad and up the stakes
A bit of luck is all it takes.



    1. When you lose and lose some more
      Your thoughts should turn to Pussy Galore
      You shouldn't need some roadside maps
      To find the good games---BJ and Craps


    2. A two week trip that takes 2 months to post...Like your writing but the wait is long to get it all finished.

      1. Yup. A post can take 1 to 2 hours to put together. Not to mention the agony of reliving this trip.

      2. "Not to mention the agony of reliving this trip"

        That's the part that's tough. When I'm on that downward spiral, I might rant to my travelling companions, but would definitely find it hard to put pen to paper as it were and tell the world. Respect due.

    3. Ah geez. Still pulling for you, really!! I have a felling I gotta say. Course, I have had 100's of these feeling in old LV and few if any pay off. Less than done, come on Royal, at least go out on a high note.....!

    4. Thanks F.N.

      Another couple of weeks and we will know the final outcome. ;)


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