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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Planning the $1000 Las Vegas Vacation - part 3 Return to the Jizzcuzzi

I love it when you get that message on the screen that your flight is confirmed for Vegas.

That means that the trip is on. That is the moment it all really begins. That is the moment your Vegas obsession turn from a general longing to a real thing. You have new life, and new hope again, and new adventures just over the horizon.

"That's it. I'm going!!!"

Having booked the flight on AeroPlan points, I now have some work to do if I am going to have any kind of a chance of having a good time on a $1000 gambling budget. That works out to $84 a day.

This is the budget I had 20 years ago, when everything was coin droppers and the slot club cards had holes in them like 50s IBM punch cards. In fact, slot clubs had only just been invented.

I was a proud member of the Gold Chamber at Luxor. Remember that?

OK, so I had a bunch of offers in my mailbox. I looked them over and started to piece together an itinerary.

The beauty of offers is that they include free rooms. And if those rooms are free, they include resort fees (except sometimes). And if the rooms are free, there is no 12% room tax on the cost of the room.

Well, maybe there is, but 12% of $0.00 is sweet fuck all.

And the best part of offers is they usually include some free play. And free play means a bigger gambling budget beyond the exactly $1000-worth of gambling that $1000 cash will buy.

Jimmy Poon moved his computer mouse in swirls and swoops so graceful they would have made Elvis Stojko look like Tie Domi trying to execute a triple Lutz in a furry Easter bunny suit. Before I knew it, he'd created a spreadsheet to track offers and benefits.

First stop, the MLife MILF site to see what was on tap there.

And it looked good. Very good.

I had an offer for Luxor.

I know what you're thinking. Never again after the pubic hair jizzcuzzi incident in the Luxor Pyramid suite.

But I happen to know that the Tower rooms are quite nice indeed.

And my offer is for 3 nights in a Tower Deluxe room, with $75 freeplay and $100 resort credit. (See, all that money I lost before is paying dividends now!)

Now, the resort hostage fee at Luxor is about $30 a day, but the resort credit covers that for the three days, making the stay really and truly free. In fact, I'll have an extra $10 left over for actual resort items like a toothpick or a bag of peanuts. And I get the free play to boot. I'll have to figure out some inexpensive food options.

Does the TSA object to cans of tuna in your luggage?

Weekends are always trickier for cheap bastard trips. Thing happen on weekends like fights and other sports events, and they are just busier. This translates into higher rates. I got busy and the Luxor offer was available for one of the weekends I'll need.

I booked it! And look at the money I saved! $752.64!!! (That's against the El Stupido Rack Rate, which nobody would ever pay unless the Free Beer convention was in town.)

Going back through the offers in MLife MILF, I saw there was also one for Mandalay Bay for 2 nights, $50 resort credit, and $75 free play.

It wasn't good for a weekend, but if I went out far enough from the Luxor stay, it looked like I could book it.

Done!!! The $50 resort credit almost covers the $67 in resort fees.

So now I have 5 of my needed dozen nights booked.

More exciting than that, I've expanded my gambling bankroll footprint by $150.

I had Jimmy Poon set up some spreadsheets so we can track stuff in excruciatingly boring detail. I had him convert everything into US dollars, since this will all happen in the US - and frankly, most of you degenerate readers are American. So let's keep it simple and get that crazy Canadian loonie out of there.

Bankroll ScroungesNotesUS Hard CostUS Bankroll
Luxor Freeplay$0$75
Mandalay Bay Freeplay$0$75

Here's a quick summary of where I stand on costs and comps for this trip.
Hard Costs$1,693
Value Received$2,648
Savvy Comps Gained$955
Bankroll cash$1,000
Bankroll scrounges$150
Total bankroll$1,150

As you can see I'm in for $1693 of which $1000 is my cash bankroll, and $330 is cash for expenses. Like tipping. And eating.

For value received, I didn't take the ridiculous room night prices cited on the MILF site. Instead I pegged Mandalay Bay at $100 US a night, and Luxor at $75 US a night, both including resort fee. I think that's a pretty realistic amount that I would actually pay out of pocket for these rooms.

By using some a couple of offers, flying on points, and a couple of other things, I'm getting $955 more in value than the $1,693 I'm spending so far.

Here are the detail on it, if you care. Don't shout at me if the math is wrong, Jimmy Poon hates what I do to him when he fumbles the math.

ScroungesNotesUS Hard CostUS Value
Bankroll Scrounges$0$150
AirfareAir FU Canada on Points from Flusherville$190$544
Seat UpgradeAir FU Canada Slaveship Seat to Normal Loser Seat$33$33
Expense Money$330$330
VISA Gift CardFrom Golden Nugget promotion$0$25
Luxor RoomRack Rate $765. RCs cover resort fee$0$225
Mandalay Bay RoomRack Rate $630. RCs cover resort fee$0$200
Car RentalHave $200 CAD credit on VISA rewards card$141$141

The more numbers I crunch, the more I forget how degenerate this is going to be!!!

Lot's more to come.

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