Day 4 - Part 3
I'd received a request from M_ILIS who'd asked me to hide one away at Luxor so they could pick it up when they arrived in a few days. I knew that the one on the wall wouldn't last the day - it would be picked up, or most likely, swept away by the unknowing cleaning staff.
I'd thought long and hard about where I could hide a card in a public place where nobody would see it, but where I could easily describe how to find it. And of course, it had to have an extremely low probability of accidental discovery.
It only seemed right that the card should be secreted somewhere in the casino, not hidden high up in a low traffic area. So that was rule 1.
And after that... I was stumped.
Hiding it in or around slot machines was hit or miss. (Although, I have seen cards last for a week tucked into the tubes on machine candles that hold signs - both at Four Queens, and at Fremont. These were in plain sight too. But no - too dangerous.)
Around a table game? Forget it.
So where? Where in the Luxor casino could I hide a card such that it could be almost guaranteed to be findable?
I took a break in the room for a while and pondered what to do. I went and got some ice to preserve the emergency cheese, or at least, slow down the production of deadly molds, bacteria and possibly new kinds of cheese that would inevitably be produced prior to my consumption of such emergency cheese, possibly in a self-punishment scenario, some days from now. I wondered what the spell spent in the trunk of the Poon Stang in 109 degree heat did to the cheese.
The whole thing made me panic, so much so that I risked even more cheesal degradation by scooping generous handfuls of the very frozen ice that was possibly keeping it from becoming deadly into a big plastic cup I'd swiped from the door of the casino (you aren't allowed to take glass out onto Fremont, so they have a constant supply of free cups), and topping it furiously with vodka from my personal supply.
A few swigs of that and my mind go back to the point - right now, I was a winner on the day. I'd beaten the odds on the dollar play and nailed a quad, only my second. I wanted to cherish and bask in the feeling.
Isn't it amazing how much joy this gave me, in contrast to trips where I've played dollars all the time? It seemed there was something to be learned on this $1000 challenge.
I didn't want to blow the money. But I did want to gamble. Boy did I. I found a compromise. I would gamble the Quad Queen's freeplay ($75) ahead of schedule. I figured a) I wouldn't be blowing my own money and b) I was running hot, hot, hot, baby!!!
After making plans to meet up with Dr. Raoul and 'Tron, I rifled the contents of the envelope that Blonde4Ever had left me - sweet, sweet match play coupons that she didn't use on her trip just 10 days prior, which you can read about in Blonde's May Adventure on LasVegas4Ever.
|The best things come in sweaty wrinkled packages. Envelopes aren't bad either.|
I asked the Quad Queen how she wanted me to play her free play. Quarter 7/5 Bonus Poker, or dollar 9/5 Jacks. She wanted to balance things out and go for the quarters - better chance of breaking even, outside chance of a tax-free Royal. Sounded good to me!
The first $50 loaded up, I went at it. And it went pretty well. Didn't hit anything big but I stayed right around $50 the whole time until I'd played it through and could cash it out.
|Feast your eyes, second time I cashed something out in one day!|
Dr. Raoul and 'Tron met me downstairs and we ambled over to the Plaza, where, it was said, fun could be had in their Party Pit up front of the casino, with their cleavagy dealers and 3:2 on blackjacks.
We hit the Party Pit, which looks right out over the Golden Gate and now defunct ex-Vegas Club - quite pleasant, really - and had the place to ourselves, and the guys got busy at the blackjack table. First, though, I had a date with the Roulette table.
You can bet red. Or you can bet black. I hadn't decided which way to go, but I did know this - whichever color I picked, I was going to stay with for every roulette match play. Because they should each come up as often, right? So I should win half the time, right? So sayeth Poindexter McMathface.
I bought some reds and put $10 down along with the coupon. The wheel had been running choppily, some red, some black, the last couple red. I had to pick. I picked red.
I picked wrong. Bounced in, and then out.
Note this D.R - I was zero for one on match plays.
No problem. I joined the guys for some cards. Not wanting to be a pussy, I bought in for $100. Well, I had planned to play more blackjack this trip, hadn't I?
It was a new shoe and I got my $10 blackjack match play coupon out and showed it to the dealer, a very young, quite pretty blonde girl. She was dressed - or undressed - the way they dress such eye candy in the Party Pit. It wasn't at all unpleasant - until she started talking.
"You sure you want to play that now?"
Well, why wouldn't I, so I said, "Yes."
I played it. And I lost. I got scolded.
"You should have played it, I told you. Bad boy!"
We played a few hands and ordered beers and after a while she said to me, "This is your first trip to Vegas, isn't it... you're a Virgin!"
The Py-ana music stopped mid-note. Dr. Raoul froze, a beer half-way to his lips. 'Tron looked at me, wide-eyed. They didn't make a move. The swinging doors leading into the Party Pit slowly squeaked to a halt. The bartender ducked below the bar, probably reaching silently for a weapon. A glass fell to the sawdust covered floor and shattered, but nobody - nobody - made a move. All eyes were on my broad, sweaty back, and the six-gun that had put, well, no men on boot hill, but had seriously frightened a raccoon once.
I slowly, slowly looked up from my cards and addressed the dealer.
"Well now," I said, clearing my throat. "This here happens to be my 58th trip to your Las. Vegas. So I guess I'm not a Vegas Virgin am I... I guess that makes me kind of a Vegas Slut."
The crowd in the casino roared with approval and the Py-ana started up again. Drinks flowed.
Then she said to me, "Ooooooh.... you whore you!"
The Py-ana music stopped again.
I looked at her and lifted one eyebrow up (by tilting my head).
The room laughed and the Py-ana music started up again.
Then the Py-ana music stopped again when a two gamblers at the faro table got into a scuffle.
And then the Py-ana music started up again, and so the fighting guys had to stand down and wait for the next time the Py-ana music unexpectedly stopped.
I tried to go with the flow. And the dealer was trying to be precocious and suggestive. And she was pumping us for tips like we were handles on a water pump, relentless, pulling on a litany of pseudo-sexual lines that she probably used on everyone. And yeah, I guess that's her job.
Normally, I would love this. I still can't quite put my finger on what it was - but there was something about this dealer that bothered me. She was lippy. She was disrespectful. It wasn't fun. And I never got the feeling she was pretending to like us, which is kind of a minimum.
At one point, Gambletron asked for change for a red chip. The only reason to do this is to get dollar chips for tipping the dealer. She started in on me, saying stuff like "Don't you need change for one of your chips tooooooo?...." I don't need that kind of crap.
I think the bottom line is that I felt like I was held in thinly veiled contempt. It wasn't a good feeling. Maybe it was just me, I dunno. The guys just spent the time enjoying their beer, losing money, and stealing looks at her cleavage. They're the smart ones.
I tried to just focus on the cards and after twenty minutes or so mentioned to Dr. Raoul that I hadn't had a blackjack yet.
"Don't worry... you're going to get a BJ reallllly soon!!!!" said the dealer.
Yeah, OK. You're so smart. And I wasn't fucking talking to you.
The worst part of all this is that all three of us were getting our asses kicked. We pretty much each dropped $100 at the table, maybe a bit more. And yeah, I'd lost like $110 in the Plaza.
And I was zero for two on match plays.
The $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016: All Posts
Planning the $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016
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