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Tuesday, June 28, 2016

For Royal Flusher in Russia, With Love, From Blonde4Ever

Day 4 - Part 2

The Golden Nugget has been very steady with the room comps and free play, and the best part is, my room comp covers the Rush Tower. I finally figured out that the Rush Tower is a reference to the GOLD rush - not Geddy, Neil, and Alex.

It worked out very well. I had a quick ride downtown and took only one detour - to the Paiute Smoke Shop to check out their prices on cigars. Well, they have a huge walk in humidor, and I was able to find stuff that interested me, and a handful of sticks for Funk too. I thought the prices were great - those little Hemingway Dick cigars I like, you know, the short ones that make you feel sick in only 15 minutes, instead of making you feel sick in 45 minutes? - I've paid around $14 for those downtown and on the strip. Those babies were $6.85. So I stocked up, saving money on deadly, killer distractions. It's a Vegas thing for me, not a regular indulgence.

Back at the Nugget, I got a great spot in the parking structure for the Poon Stang. Amazingly, I again stumbled onto a 'Poon Stang Only' spot, marked with a lit-up pony logo.

In an astoundingly savvy move, I left my stuff in the trunk, and headed straight for the tournament registration. No way did I want to miss out on my chance to win a bundle. Registration was from 9:30 until 11:45 and tournament play was from 10:00 until noon.

I talked to the R.S. (Registration Sheila) and asked what a good score was. I was looking at 50,000 to 60,000 points to get into the good money. It's important to have a feel for how your score compares to the tournament leaders, so that you know which swear words to use.

The tournament was simple. Pick an open machine, stick your card in the slot surrounded by blindingly bright flashing lights (following the large instructions on the screen which say 'PLACE CARD IN SLOT'), and button-fuck that machine to within an inch of its life as hard and fast as you can. It's amazing how much abuse those buttons put up with and still work.

My score came it at 43,000 and change and I figured I was pooched for the day. Fortunately, there were two more daily tournaments in which to lose.

I was so happy to be downtown again. Next, I checked in and yes, they had a room ready for me at 10:30 in the morning. I used the Rush Tower lobby, conveniently located in the brown Rush Tower. It, and my room, were very brown. Everything here is brown, in this Rush tower. Except the hallways. They have red lights.

But everything else is a poopsea of brown.

It's because brown goes with gold, if you are a $200 an hour interior Rush Tower designer.
Brown with Brown Accents
So, the room looked fine, and that gave me the green light to bring my belongings up from the Poon Stang to the room. I sniggered at the little Keurig coffee maker and it's k-cups at $10 for four. Tomorrow I'd drape my cheapness all over that shit like a sickly sweet scent. More on that to come.

Next, there were some important businesses to attend to. Did I have my free play for real. Did the Quad Queen have her free play for real. And how much in comp dollars did I have still left on my card. (Yes, yes, and $60 - woohoo!!!)

I'm actually skipping over a part where the Quad Queen's account had gotten completely fucked up and merged into mine. I've been getting both our offers in my name. It took an hour, and an incredible amount of diligence by the slot club supervisor but we got it sorted.

At one point I had to look her in the eye and tell her that, no, my wife wasn't with me, and yes, I was looking to try to enjoy all that the slot club had to offer us. If you know what I mean. She was cool about it. We had to talk to three or four other people, but by the end of the day it was sorted. Great service from the Nugget.

My plan had been to eat all my meals downtown at Magnolia's where I still have a bunch of comp dollars from my dollar Jacks or Better binges in previous trips. Having some Nugget comp bucks gave me more options.

Now, after many years of just missing each other, my cousins Dr. Raoul and Gambletron were actually in Vegas at the same time I was. And they were downtown. We had to meet up.

But first, I had more businesses at the Mike's Bar in the Four Queens. I was expecting an envelope, left in a dead drop by another Canadian agent.

The good news came from nonother than Philly Mike himself, who was busy slinging Singapore Slings to sleazy slot sluts, and also waxing his 'stache.

Come to the Mikes Bar and get waxed.
He did indeed have something for me in the form of gambling help from Secret Agent Blonde4Ever.

Hot damn!!! I had it made, now!
All that's missing is the Russia part and the With Love part.
My cousins, Dr. Raoul and Gambletron, joined me at the bar and we had a great time catching up. The Four Queens has an anniversary celebration going on and if you get - ahem - four queens on video poker, you get a 'special commemorative gift'.

Well dammit if Dr. Raoul doesn't hit four queens. Not only hits it, but is dealt it!

We were all a-twitter at what the amazing prize might be. We tossed our grand ideas around. Could it be free play? Could it be a gambling chip? How about a set of steak knives or an iPad Mini?

It was better than all those things put together (from the point of view of the Four Queens, that is). It was.... hold your breath... a MUG!

It was, admittedly, a pretty darn nice mug, but it weight about a pound and a half. I was jealous.

Meanwhile, Funkhouser had been texting me from the Downtown Grand, where he'd double booked a suite to take advantage of a decent free play offer there. Did we want to go on the High Roller? His Harrah's comp included 4 tickets. And yes, my cousins could come along. Cool!

The Double Double Bonus Royal progressive at the Downtown Grand was sky high, so I headed there to meet up with Funk, and see if I had any DTG free play. (I did - $10. So did the QQ, in absentia...)

Didn't hit anything there, but we kicked around a bit. I took a look at the DTG suite - basically the same as the normal room decor, but two rooms put together, with one being a living room (so couch), and an extra bathroom added on. Pretty comfy, I would say.

They seemed to be filming something in the lobby of the DTG (Revenge of the Nerds 99???)

We headed back to the Four Queen's to grab some lunch - on me, this time. I was happy to be able to share back some of my comp dollars. We had a huge beer each, and some chicken thingies, and I ordered a deep dish roadkill pizza.

The main point of discussion was - what to do with the Golden Nugget free play???

Funkhouser and I debated whether or not it should be played on quarter short pay 7/5 Boner Pokus, or on dollar 8/6 short pay Jacks or Better.

We both agreed that the prudent choice was BP, but the Jacks held the outside chance of a decent score. But then again, the BP would wear you down and you'd probably get only a portion of the freeplay.

But the dollar Jacks, you just need a full house, and you are set. But you could get completely blown out.

These are the discussions of a couple of gamblers.

Taking the safest, smartest path, and following with my plan to play only low volatility quarters, I walked straight to the quarter BP machines, passed by them, and continued on to the wallet-crushing budget-smashing dollar Jacks machines in the hallway where the ten billion dollar gold nugget is.

I played and for the first 5 or 6 hands hit nothing. Uh-oh, spaghettios. And then, three Kings...

And then...

Yes, (and this is incredible for me to say at this point), I hit my second quad of the trip. (Great leaping fuck-me sticks, how is that possible???)

I cashed $140 from the $50 free play. Woo fucking hooooo!

At that particular point in time, I'd used only $60 of my $1000 budget. And that would never change, right?...

Errr. Well, we'll see.

Lots more to come!

The $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016: All Posts

Planning the $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016

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    1. Pfffffft as if you could afford pudding on your budget!

      Congrats on the winning. Singular. Because not degenerate. Yet.

    2. Way to keep us hanging... Did Blonde4ever leave you her leftover Tito's or perhaps some food coupons or maybe a ticket to a show??? Maybe it's the lucky machine numbers or a free ride on Slotzilla...


    3. i like the 5 dollar machine they seem to hit better for less in.

    4. If I ever leave you anything again I am going to make sure it goes into a fancy, spiffy envelope!!!(Instead of a sweaty, wrinkled piece of crap);)

    5. Should've parlayed that up in savvy fashion, to a $2 denomination.

    6. How efficient of you to redo the cliff notes posts so that I got to comment in advance of the actual post. Or something?

      How are you only $60 down when you are on the world's biggest quad drought? I want to learn from you, Royal.

      1. Jimmy Poon is big on recycling. I was only down $60 because I broke my own rules and played dollars and beat the odds! Degensavvy!

    7. Man just looking @ that pizza. I'll be there in a week. You do realize you can use those 4Q comp $$$ at Chicago bar for cigars. I've probably purchased over $1K worth of cigars there since they started the new comp system.

      1. I used to do that. But Paiute shop is 60% cheaper I found out!


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