Day 3 - Part 2
Meantime, I took a flyer on a Triple Double Bonus game, hoping somebody would deal me a quad. Somebody didn't. After losing $10, I cashed out. The $10 ticket went into some stupid slot or other and I won $10 profit.
So, gambled and broke even. Fair enough.
Next, I went back to the same stupid machine in the same stupid High Limit room that wouldn't pay me any fours-of-a-kind!
I sat down. I looked at it. It looked at me. It stuck its tongue out at me and went 'nanny nanny boo boo'.
Screw it, I thought, and switched machines to the one next to it. I'd had it pounding that stupid loser machine.
I fired up the 9/5 Jacks on Spin Poker, one line at a time. Employing a variant of the Strict Rules of Parlay, I managed to double up my credits and added a line. So now I was playing two lines at a time.
I just about fainted when I actually received on one of my active lines four 9s, thus ending the longest time on a trip ever to getting my first quad - three days!!!
Only 1800 hands to get this gorgeous $31.25 winner!
This seemed like a good time to clean up, shower, shave and what-not. I went an refreshed the bucket of ice I was using to keep my supply of punishment cheese from turning green and gooey and crawling away on its own. I connected with Funkhouser on the piPhone and we solidified a meeting time down at Harrah's. I planned it out so that I could grab a light lunch, then head to the car rental place, and then head up to mid-strip.
Wanting to keep the cost of lunch down, I checked out the Nile Deli. I remember eating here the first night we ever stayed at Luxor, in 1995. The Nile River ride went right by the tables.
The menu didn't look particularly inviting. Nor did the decor. The Deli is basically a take-out hot sandwich burger hot dog joint.
I headed over to the oddly named Pubic House.
Pubic House is basically a sit-down hot sandwich burger hot dog joint. I asked for a table and had the strangest conversation with the Podium Sheila.
The Podium Sheila said it would be a bit of a wait. (There were 900 tables open). I could sit at the bar and that would be faster. (I don't like sitting on bar stools to eat.) They hadn't been busy so they sent a server home. (They were busy now, out of nowhere.) She wasn't seating me right away so that it would give the server a break. (I could stand and wait to sit, but I couldn't sit now and wait the same amount of time.) The Nile Deli is just around the corner and would probably be faster. (I am out of here.)
It was just completely inept. The P.S. actively wanted me to go away. (This is not an unusual request from the various women I meet in my travels.)
I schlepped back to the Nile Deli and ordered some horrible chicken wrap thing or other with sweet potato fries (cutting edge!!!!!.... if its 2005) and made a light lunch out of it all. I pocketed a bunch of free Mayo packets, for possible future punishment lunches.
I summoned my Lyftber (Johna) and had an uneventful drive to the Car Rental place.
The guy who helped me was great. He was poking around the computer, and the woman next to him was helping him out. He couldn't find me.
I explained to guy that one email came saying a second email would come but the second email never came and the first email said to go to the booth, so here I am and can I have a car please.
"Name?"
"Flusher."
"P Flusher? G Flusher?"
"No, R Flusher. Royal Flusher."
"Ahh shit."
It was great. Totally unedited. He was a trainee. I laughed my ass off.
"Don't worry," I said, "we'll work through this."
He furrowed his brow.
"Ah shit."
His Drill Thrall pointed at the screen. "There it is! Woohoo!!!", her arms up in the air.
Every time something went right, the Drill Thrall would do a one-woman 'wave'. "WOOOOOO!!!!!" I tried to catch a picture of this, but didn't manage it. Sucks to be a reader of this blog.
"We don't have a Chevy Crash Intermediate or Equivalent available right now. It would be about a 20 minute wait. I have a Mustang ready now, if you want that..."
"Does it have air conditioning?"
"Yes."
"Will it cost me anything extra?"
"No."
"Will I look like a video poker stud driving around in it?"
"A thousand times YES!"
"I'LL TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!"
We all did a big WOOHOOO and wave, hands in the air. All except the guy being trained. And me.
As I walked out of the Avis Preferred Premium Plus Platinum Pro Prime booth, I thought I heard the Drill Thrall say something to the guy being trained about handing over his 'agonizer'. But I didn't care, I had a hot car in a numbered stall to find.
Behold. The Flushiepants Poon Stang. |
I fired up the Poon Stang and headed down to Harrah's for dinner and hijinx with Funkhouser.
Gallop, Poon Stang, Gallop!!!

The $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016: All Posts
Planning the $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016
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was all the Luxor play at the weird looking machines in the high limit room....the bartops?
ReplyDeleteHigh limit room, All star machines, 9/5 Jacks Spinpoker
DeleteYou're going to find that pony logo everywhere you park.
ReplyDeleteForgot to ask if Looks Sore Hotel gave you the Jizzcuzzi room this time.
ReplyDeleteNope, had a tower deluxe room. Sort of. The first night, there wasn't any so I had a crappy pyramid room.
DeleteHow much more did the Mustang cost?
ReplyDeleteTypo - It didn't cost a dime extra!!!! (I have severely admonished Jimmy Poon for the typo.)
DeleteHmmmmm, free Mayo packets, is that anything like the Philly Cheese packets from the last trip? I hope this did not contribute to any bad karma this trip flushiepants.
ReplyDeleteHand over the agonizer
ReplyDelete...been a long time since I saw the mirror mirror episode of the original star trek ... Mean Spock was a treat to watch ..