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Friday, July 29, 2016

Moon Me Over Mandalay Bay

Day 13 - Part 1

What a long way I'd come. The goal was in sight. I'd had probably the lowest-rolling trip out of almost 60 attempts, and most of my objectives had been met. I still had a good portion of my $1000 bankroll, and most importantly, I'd had an absolute blast.

The morning looked like this - get totally packed and ready to walk out the door to the airport, then go down and have breakfast at the buffet, and a quick last shot at video poker.

But first, the last of the k-cups to make my own coffee and stiff MLife out of $4 a cup. Damn it felt good.

I did my suitcase's bidding and got everything ready. You know how it is on that last day. You're a bit tense, packing is nothing but a chore, and your fun has come to a close.

I always enjoy the buffet at Mandalay Pay, especially at breakfast. I get down there early and get a seat by the window if I can. I scored a double this time, right in the corner, with views in two directions.

I found all kinds of good things for food and had the Omelette Sheila (named Luis) make me two hard over.

Choose wisely, Karma-boi.
Everything was hot, the coffee was good, and there was cheese.

Cheese, yes cheese. Cheese in my tummy, and cheese in my shorts.

I stashed some Philadelphia in there too. For the plane. Well, crikey, otherwise it would just go to waste, right?

Next stop, the machines. I gave it the old college try. Nickel Ultimate X.

Not very exciting is it.

I lost $80 and called it. My casino gambling was done.

Next stop, the little store. I don't know what it's called, it probably has a name, but why not the little store.

I picked up some vital life-sustaining supplies (corn meal, gunpowder, ham hocks, and guitar strings). I had calculated out exactly how and when to use my $50 resort credit, and I figured this used the last of it.

Imagine my sad surprise when I found out that the little store doesn't TAKE resort credit.

The sin and the shame of it. Not only did I pay for the little store supplies, I left some resort credit unused. Let this be a lesson to you other cheap bastard frugal Flushies.
Apparently the little store is known colloquially as the 'MB Rangoon News Retail Fuck You Resort Credit Fuckers'
And then it was time. Viewed my dossier on the TV and checked out. Did a last sweep of the room looking for lost hundred dollar bills (not mine, but you never know), checked the safe 99 times, and tapped the important pockets on my person OCD style.

piPhone, wallet, room key, passport - touch, touch, touch, touch.

And with that, I walked out the door, letting it slam behind me in a touching farewell.

Down below in the gassy bowels of Mandalay Pay, I summoned a Lyftber. This time the guy knew where to go, unliked Death who had picked me up the last time I used Lyftber from M.B.

I got the the airport and the Nexus card worked a charm, and with only two hours and 45 minutes to go before my flight, I had a bit of time to kill.

Just a bit of play on Triple Double Bonus I thought. Maybe a last gasp win at the airport?

I played the a twenty and got nothing.

Time to quit.

I changed machines and put another twenty in.

It drained away hand by hand and I actually muttered out loud, "Can I PLEASE have a royal flucking fush at the airplot????"

Next hand dealt was this.

You have to be shitting me. Four to a Royal. Why not JUST DEAL IT ALL TO ME????

Well, I didn't hesitate long, I pulled the trigger and...

Once again, I had the extra room seat for the flight home on Air Canada Rouge. As it always does, it went pretty fast. I slept some and pondered the trip, smiling to myself.
Air Canada Rouge, ready to take me back to prison aka real life.
Nellis Golf Course and Air Force Base.

What a great trip it really was. I'd had so much fun. Met some great degenerates. Had some fantastic meals (often on the comps of said degenerates).
Emirates Airbus Big-ass Plane. Double decker, because farts rise to Business Class.
I landed in Toronto and had about four hours to kill before the hopper flight to Flusherville.

There's a little Thai place I'd been wanting to try, so I walked the length of the concourse to its location.

I may have over-ordered.

A couple of cops were having coffee at the table next to me and when one of them wandered by I asked him, "Is there a citation for failing to finish the soup? Cause I'm in trouble here."
After dinner I made my way to the lonely area where the little prop-jobs dock.

Well it wouldn't be a Flusher trip report without some Air Dramada now would it.

I landed at like seven-ish. The Flusherville flight was at like 11:30. At like 11:15 I watched the Boarding Sheila talking on the phone, and I could tell from her facial expressions and mannerisms, that things were not 'routine'.

Royal Flusher is an expert at reading people, and in this case, my finely hone people skills told me that there was something... something to pay attention to here. All of this, I gleaned from the slight raise of an eyebrow, the faintest glimmer of the beginnings of a facial sweat. Also, the way she crooked the phone a bit closer and said, "So we're screwed," into it.

There was a mechanical problem. Yes, another fucking cliff-hangar.

11:30 became... you want the Coleslaw Notes version of this? OK. They delayed the flight about six times. They got on the horn to some mechanics. They said that the mechanics had to come from their 'offices' off-site. Bullshitfuckyou, you got those assholes out of bed and we all know it. It was a 50/50 shot they'd be able to fix the blown out map light or maybe the armageddon fire suppression system. The yawning guys came, and fixed the rudder flap or oxygen life system or whatever and at a little after one, Air Dramada Flight 666 took off for Flusherville.

Man was I glad to find out I would be getting home tonight instead of having to spend the night in Toronto.

I felt bad for the Quad Queen, who, unlike me, was still on Eastern time (because that's where we live).

But all's well that ends well, and I made it home in one piece.

I know what you're thinking.

He's going to do some stupid cliff-hanger.

No, I wouldn't do that to you.

This blog is very much a labor of love. I love Vegas. I love funny stuff. I love to write. And I love the support I get from you guys.

Thank you for your kind attention and support. It's so great when I post on Facebook and within less than a minute, I can count on the Like counter going up from the same three or four people. You know who you are, and I always appreciate it. Dawn, I think you are first out of the gate almost every time.

Special shout-outs go to those who bought me food. Hell yeah! Funkhouser, my Four Queens button-fucking buddy Kevin, and a super special shout-out to Chris S. who ponied up the biggest donation ever on the site. Also, the Mikes at the Mikes Bar, and in particular Mike, who goes above and beyond and has my back. Go Flyers.

One last thing I'd like to say - I'm trying to grow this blog, and I need your help to do it.

If you like it, share it. Give me a share or two on Facebook, or tell a buddy that you found something goofy to have a chuckle at.

That will make a ton of difference to me.

Now, meanwhile at the airport...
You really didn't think I'd get a Royal did you? Looks like at least a year between royals again.

Don't worry, Royal Flusher AND the Quad Queen... will ride again. Actually, we sit a lot.

And you'll get to come along.

Day: -$120
Trip: -$705
Bankroll left: $295

I did twelve days in Las Vegas on a $705 bankroll!

I had about $1500 in room, food, show and other comps and about $1100 in freeplay and gambling comps.

Now, one can't do that every time out - a lot of this was possible because of the play I did on previous trips.

But man, this worked, I made my goal, and I feel like I got back half my losses in rooms, food, and freeplay from the previous trip.

Nickels are GREAT!!!! Coupons are FANTASTIC!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

And next trip, I plan to...

... gamble my ASS off.

Flusher Out


    1. what a great trip you had !!! do you go for halloween?

    2. I'm glad you like to write, because you're good at it. Seriously entertaining, and for Vegas degens like myself, it's like crack. Congrats, and thanks again for taking us along!

    3. An outfuckingstanding trip report! Not just because I am mentioned, although it raised the bar slightly. No it was great to see you finish in the plus side of the bankroll and not see a minus sign and 4 digits. Had a great time visiting, now I guess I need to get off my arse and finish the abandoned TR I started. But alas the deck hammock calls...

    4. Loved the report - although it took a long time for you to finish it. But, since I am not a writer - I appreciate every single syllable, word, sentence, paragraph, and more. Thanks for taking the time to write it up for us poor degenerates who live through you vicariously.


    5. $33.60 for a free room. Yikes, the unfree rooms at Main Street are cheaper than that-and the beer's a whole lot better.
      When's the next trip?

    6. Sigh! I wouldn't start house stuff until I read your "daily" report. Now all I have is coffee to fuel me through the day. Going to Vegas in August and I'm gonna do NICKELS. I will miss your insight into the life of the degenerate gambler like myself.

    7. Praise Royal, he done it again with a great read. Also, all in with a $700 bankroll. Impressive work. I imagine next time you solo, you will attempt a $500 roll eh?

      Thanks for sharing. It is appreciated!

    8. Nicely done, sir. Your trips and your reports never disappoint. Thanks for taking the time to write it up for our entertainment.

    9. RF,

      Another epic. You are the Geoffrey Chaucer of neon, free drinks, cheap eats, comped rooms and low rolling gambling. By now I suspect that you are back at the Grommeteria punching 'em out to fund your next trip.
      Very entertaining with your wry commentary- thanks for the effort.

    10. I am so surprised you went home with money. I would have been fiending and would have lost it all. So frustrating you had unused resort credit! The El Cortez used to have a promo where if you paid for three nights, you got specific amounts of dining and free play that totaled the amount of the rooms. My cheap fuckness meant I had to keep eating only at the El Cortez or else there was no way a solo diner could use the credit. And I could not just let it go. Because CHEAP.

      I am so excitedly looking forward to your next trip. Your reward for being good on this one = green light to go degen on the next. Congratulations on completing your goal!

    11. Enjoyed every minute of your trip. It takes a special grommet Sheila to put this together.

    12. Kind of sucks. I was in Vegas when you were this time but never crossed paths. I would love to share a comp with you at some point. Don't really know if you actually make grommets in Flusherville but if you do you've missed your calling. Clearly, writing is what you should be doing and I've heard people actually get paid well for their clever thoughts. In any event...thanks for sharing yours'. I look forward to every word of your Vegas accounts.

    13. so much hype for the nickles. gambling is terrible now. super tight machines since the server based gaming. i only see new customers winning. maybe go some place new like reno.

    14. Aloha, Every time I get another email from you, I STOP and READ IT ALL. I ALSO I appreciate every single syllable, word, sentence, paragraph, and more. Thanks for taking the time to write it up FOR ALL OF US that don't go or take the time to visit FABULOUS Las Vegas. Mahalo, Lucky

    15. Another epic report! I'm always sad when they're finished, as I look forward to them daily. But I'm so impressed that you pulled off this cheap trip. I'm going at month end, and am inspired to try the frugal path. Keep on writing - I don't even care about what, haha

    16. read. Thanks for all the time/efforts RF...


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