What a long way I'd come. The goal was in sight. I'd had probably the lowest-rolling trip out of almost 60 attempts, and most of my objectives had been met. I still had a good portion of my $1000 bankroll, and most importantly, I'd had an absolute blast.
The morning looked like this - get totally packed and ready to walk out the door to the airport, then go down and have breakfast at the buffet, and a quick last shot at video poker.
But first, the last of the k-cups to make my own coffee and stiff MLife out of $4 a cup. Damn it felt good.
I did my suitcase's bidding and got everything ready. You know how it is on that last day. You're a bit tense, packing is nothing but a chore, and your fun has come to a close.
I always enjoy the buffet at Mandalay Pay, especially at breakfast. I get down there early and get a seat by the window if I can. I scored a double this time, right in the corner, with views in two directions.
|Choose wisely, Karma-boi.|
Cheese, yes cheese. Cheese in my tummy, and cheese in my shorts.
I stashed some Philadelphia in there too. For the plane. Well, crikey, otherwise it would just go to waste, right?
Next stop, the machines. I gave it the old college try. Nickel Ultimate X.
I lost $80 and called it. My casino gambling was done.
Next stop, the little store. I don't know what it's called, it probably has a name, but why not the little store.
I picked up some vital life-sustaining supplies (corn meal, gunpowder, ham hocks, and guitar strings). I had calculated out exactly how and when to use my $50 resort credit, and I figured this used the last of it.
Imagine my sad surprise when I found out that the little store doesn't TAKE resort credit.
The sin and the shame of it. Not only did I pay for the little store supplies, I left some resort credit unused. Let this be a lesson to you other
|Apparently the little store is known colloquially as the 'MB Rangoon News Retail Fuck You Resort Credit Fuckers'|
piPhone, wallet, room key, passport - touch, touch, touch, touch.
And with that, I walked out the door, letting it slam behind me in a touching farewell.
Down below in the gassy bowels of Mandalay Pay, I summoned a Lyftber. This time the guy knew where to go, unliked Death who had picked me up the last time I used Lyftber from M.B.
I got the the airport and the Nexus card worked a charm, and with only two hours and 45 minutes to go before my flight, I had a bit of time to kill.
Just a bit of play on Triple Double Bonus I thought. Maybe a last gasp win at the airport?
I played the a twenty and got nothing.
Time to quit.
I changed machines and put another twenty in.
It drained away hand by hand and I actually muttered out loud, "Can I PLEASE have a royal flucking fush at the airplot????"
Next hand dealt was this.
You have to be shitting me. Four to a Royal. Why not JUST DEAL IT ALL TO ME????
Well, I didn't hesitate long, I pulled the trigger and...
Once again, I had the extra room seat for the flight home on Air Canada Rouge. As it always does, it went pretty fast. I slept some and pondered the trip, smiling to myself.
|Air Canada Rouge, ready to take me back to prison aka real life.|
|Nellis Golf Course and Air Force Base.|
What a great trip it really was. I'd had so much fun. Met some great degenerates. Had some fantastic meals (often on the comps of said degenerates).
|Emirates Airbus Big-ass Plane. Double decker, because farts rise to Business Class.|
There's a little Thai place I'd been wanting to try, so I walked the length of the concourse to its location.
I may have over-ordered.
A couple of cops were having coffee at the table next to me and when one of them wandered by I asked him, "Is there a citation for failing to finish the soup? Cause I'm in trouble here."
Well it wouldn't be a Flusher trip report without some Air Dramada now would it.
I landed at like seven-ish. The Flusherville flight was at like 11:30. At like 11:15 I watched the Boarding Sheila talking on the phone, and I could tell from her facial expressions and mannerisms, that things were not 'routine'.
Royal Flusher is an expert at reading people, and in this case, my finely hone people skills told me that there was something... something to pay attention to here. All of this, I gleaned from the slight raise of an eyebrow, the faintest glimmer of the beginnings of a facial sweat. Also, the way she crooked the phone a bit closer and said, "So we're screwed," into it.
There was a mechanical problem. Yes, another fucking cliff-hangar.
11:30 became... you want the Coleslaw Notes version of this? OK. They delayed the flight about six times. They got on the horn to some mechanics. They said that the mechanics had to come from their 'offices' off-site. Bullshitfuckyou, you got those assholes out of bed and we all know it. It was a 50/50 shot they'd be able to fix the blown out map light or maybe the armageddon fire suppression system. The yawning guys came, and fixed the rudder flap or oxygen life system or whatever and at a little after one, Air Dramada Flight 666 took off for Flusherville.
Man was I glad to find out I would be getting home tonight instead of having to spend the night in Toronto.
I felt bad for the Quad Queen, who, unlike me, was still on Eastern time (because that's where we live).
But all's well that ends well, and I made it home in one piece.
I know what you're thinking.
He's going to do some stupid cliff-hanger.
No, I wouldn't do that to you.
This blog is very much a labor of love. I love Vegas. I love funny stuff. I love to write. And I love the support I get from you guys.
Thank you for your kind attention and support. It's so great when I post on Facebook and within less than a minute, I can count on the Like counter going up from the same three or four people. You know who you are, and I always appreciate it. Dawn, I think you are first out of the gate almost every time.
Special shout-outs go to those who bought me food. Hell yeah! Funkhouser, my Four Queens button-fucking buddy Kevin, and a super special shout-out to Chris S. who ponied up the biggest donation ever on the site. Also, the Mikes at the Mikes Bar, and in particular Mike, who goes above and beyond and has my back. Go Flyers.
One last thing I'd like to say - I'm trying to grow this blog, and I need your help to do it.
If you like it, share it. Give me a share or two on Facebook, or tell a buddy that you found something goofy to have a chuckle at.
That will make a ton of difference to me.
Now, meanwhile at the airport...
Don't worry, Royal Flusher AND the Quad Queen... will ride again. Actually, we sit a lot.
And you'll get to come along.
Bankroll left: $295
I did twelve days in Las Vegas on a $705 bankroll!
I had about $1500 in room, food, show and other comps and about $1100 in freeplay and gambling comps.
Now, one can't do that every time out - a lot of this was possible because of the play I did on previous trips.
But man, this worked, I made my goal, and I feel like I got back half my losses in rooms, food, and freeplay from the previous trip.
Nickels are GREAT!!!! Coupons are FANTASTIC!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!
And next trip, I plan to...
... gamble my ASS off.