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Saturday, September 3, 2016

Part 2 - Chilly Willy and Free Pecan Pie

Here's part 2 of the vintage 1999 Sonyc-Vysion(tm) Trip report. We kicked around downtown, I made an ass of myself trying to make interesting recordings, and we got an unexpected mercy comp from the Golden Nugget.

Note: If you are on your smartphone, or small tablet, go for landscape mode. Because otherwise it looks like crap.

© 2000 Royal Flusher - All Rights Reserved

Royal Flusher's Sonyc-Vysion (tm) Trip Report

by Royal Flusher

Part 2 - Chilly Willy and Free Pecan Pie

Daybreak breaks early in Las Vegas - right around dawn. And so, did it break this day. This day of renewed hope. Of fresh underwear, and a replenished daily budget. It was a beautiful dawn and since our room faced east, we had a perfect view. We were both awake, and my beloved Mrs. F. whispered sexily in my ear the question I'd been longing to hear. 


I hopped out of bed and checked out the sunrise and grabbed my camera. It was beautiful. All colorful and shit. I stood nude in front of the window. My 'love handle' (you know, little flusher, old roll 'o coins, third leg) started to grow strangely cold with excitement. I had never been affected by nature in this way before! Then I backed away from the window so I wasn't pressing up against the glass. Then, holding the camera up I pressed my button over and over again. (Then I took some pictures. Ba da dum.)

We decided to try a different schedule this trip, which keyed off the fact that we kept waking when the sun came up. We generally went to bed around 10:00 or 11:00 pm and got up at dawn. We both love early morning gambling for some reason. We also enjoy mid morning, late morning, afternoon, evening, late night, late early mid morning and matinee gambling.

We decided to hammer at the $1 9/6 JB and we did. Before long we had qualified for the Goldarn Nugget 24 Carrot Club which is what they call their Slut Clob.

As I recall we had to get 150 points or so and when we did, we got two buffets, cash back, permanent cards, and those springy card holder things. Curly cords they calls 'em.

I suppose we wandered around the casino, and dropped a few coins in here and there. I wanted to do some roaming around Fremont and captures some sounds for the trip report.

I turned on, adjusted my hidden mic, and headed out. First stop, Sassy Sally's which doesn't seem to be Sassy anymore. It seems like they've gone out of business and there is a new casino there called Mermaids or something. I was hoping to record the harrassment I would no doubt receive.

This is some of the free stuff I got just for losing hundreds of dollars in downtown casinos. You can see my free picture. The souvenir chip cost only $1.

Sonyc-Vysion (tm) Clip:
I get my free picture taken. No one hassles me. I'm disappointed. (274K)

There's a free pull in front and they take your picture for free. You pick up the picture at (guess where) the back of the casino. I walked in and practically begged one of the hostesses to abuse me, but it wasn't happening. The picture was supposed to take 15 minutes to develop (so you would have time to play any of the fine gaming devices in the establishment) but naturally it was available immediately. Maybe they just wanted to get rid of me.

Across the street to what used to be the Pioneer club. What's going on with Downtown? There was a small section open which is now called La Bayou. It's a New Orleans thing. There was this woman in front handing out free Mardigras beads (I said they'd go well with my beady eyes). And guess what? There was a free draw which took place guess where? At the very back of the casino. These guys have it down to an art. You go back there and guess how long till the draw? 15 minutes.

Next to the drawing? The daquiri stand with 47 varieties to choose from. Free samples. They get you likkered up, and you have to wait for the draw, and then you gammm-ble.

"You have to capitalize on others' misfortune if you are going to do Vegas the Flusher way."

Sonyc-Vysion (tm) Clip:
I invent the 'bumslide' daquiri. Results of the big draw. (638K)

I watch the winner of the draw, and her prize? A free pull on a slot machine. She won a buck, or more beads or something. There was a lame cheesiness to the place and I'm sure the free frozen booze would appeal to Matt and Stinky, but not to me. I was outta there to pick up Mrs. F. and head out for lunch.

We wanted to eat at the Golden Gate, but there was a huge lineup. So we went across to the Vegas Club, wandered upstairs and got a seat in the coffee shop there. We did some sound bites too.

Sonyc-Vysion (tm) Clip:
Coffee shop at the Las Vegas Club (425K)

For example, the waitress mentioned that there would be a bit of a wait as there were only two chefs on. So, I demanded the breakfast special even though we were half an hour late. No problem. A buck eighty nine got me three eggs, hash browns and toast. Then I got stupid and ordered a side of sausage. Guess how much for four, spicy, dry, greenish sausages? A buck eighty five. They were so overpriced for their lousy taste that I forced myself to eat all of them.
Mrs. F had a club sandwich and fries.

A couple of American Canadian notes here - first of all, let it be known that we tipped our asses off at every opportunity (except one….read on). We tipped a buck for every drink, water, or coffee we got from a cocktail waitress. See, we figured it would come back ten fold by boosting are buddha. Either that or it would burst our bladders. Anyway, here's one Canadian who tips and I don't mean a canoe or a kayak.
Second, I'm sorry, but what's with American sausages? They are very spicy and often have a greenish tinge to them. Am I right? Now, our fine Canadian meat tubes are made with much superior meat by-products, earlobes, gonads and floor sweepings and have extra grease added so they puff up more. (In your arteries that is).

Finally, did you know that many Canadians (including Mrs. F.) like white vinegar on their french fries (or 'chips' as we sometimes call them - either that or 'fries'…)? It is virtually impossible to find white vinegar in any Vegas restaurant. They even claim not to have it in the kitchen, which is probably not so. In Canada we have little packets of it in every fast food joint and the Flusherette usually brings a few with her. She says it helps keep her healthy. I just think it's to make the fries taste weird.

Oh how wonderful it is to immerse oneself in a foreign culture! The land of 'the free, the brave and the non dairy creamer' I call it sometimes. But I digress.

We just love the Golden Gate coffee shop. Too bad there was a lineup. Hmm, maybe we don't love it all that much...
Where were we? Breakfast, no chefs, late, scarf down eggs, do audio, tip tip tip, then bail.

Okay. Back to the G.N.

Here's where the tipping karma starts to pay off. I had a wonderful run at the $1 9/6 IGT JB VP next to the VIP BJ at the G.N. I put in $20 and before I knew it (that is, I knew it just *after* it got there, not very much before I knew it, just a split second really, the time it took between it happened and the time I knew it) I had $380 in the machine!

Naturally I continued to play, and cashed out with $300. So I won $300. But actually you could say I lost $80 since I'd had $380 at one time (before I knew it) minus my initial $20 for a net win of $200. At least, that's how Mrs. F explained it when she plucked one of the hundreds from my fist at the change booth, leaving me with $200 just as she'd said. She's so smart, ga-hyuh ga-hyuh.

We tooled around, frittering away our budgets as usual, getting into the swing of things. Mrs. F played quarter VP at the 38 kinds of beer bar and hit a quad for 400 quarters, which was nice. I just had to take a break, so went for a rest while the Fairer Flusher tried her fist at Trickle Play Nipple V.P.

A quick nap and I joined my lovely gambling wife and started stuffing twenties into the machine beside her. Then a strange thing happened. Someone bumped me from behind just as my wife leaned forward. I turned to see (and unfortunately smell) a very drunk man wobbling away and mumbling. Mrs. F. said, "That guy just hit me!" I quickly asked her if she was okay, and she said "Yes, I think he fell into me but he hit me on the head."

"He explained that 'it's not the Golden Nugget way. I almost blurted out, "What and throwing drunks out in the alley is?"

I was on my feet in a flash. At times like this, you must protect your loved ones. You must do the right thing. Even if it seems a bit frightening, you have to stand up to thugs like this. I strode purposefully in the direction I'd seen this drunk, but dangerous lout go. When I spotted him, I took direct action. I yelled for Security.

A fellow in one of those ugly colored sports coats (who would become 'Bob' later) heard my plea. "That guy just hit my wife", and I pointed him out. "That guy there?" "Yup, grey sweatshirt, dirty trousers, drunk as a skunk. "Wait here!"

I must say, the response was lightning fast. Bob got on the radio, and a number of sport coats converged on the guy.

I went back to my wife and we discussed the incident. Finally the sport coats arrived. They wanted to know if we wanted to press charges. We didn't. A few more minutes passed and one of the sport coats came back

"The man in question has been escorted off the premises. Is that to your satisfaction or is there anything else we need to do?" Like prepare for a lawsuit, he was probably thinking.

"No, that's fine. Thank you."

Later, Bob came back and apologised once more for 'the incident'. He explained that 'it's not the Golden Nugget way. I almost blurted out, "What and throwing drunks out in the alley is?" We laughed about that afterward, but right now, I had an idea.

"Bob, I commend you and the staff. Would there be a slot host around? I'd like to pass on the compliment". Strike while the iron of misfortune is hot…

A slot host came by and apologized again for 'the incident'. I told him how happy I was to see the 'Golden Nugget way' in action.

"If there's anything else I can do just let me know."

"Err, there's one other thing…" I explained. "My wife, she's a bit, you know, 'shaken up' by, uh, the incident. I think she could probably use a bite to eat. Do you think you could arrange a couple of comps for us to the buffet?"

"Certainly sir. How about the Carson St. Café?"


See? This is how the 'beyond' works, how synergy and calisthenics work together with herbal teas and mantras. The drunk, broke wino bumps into my wife, and gets shown the 'Golden Nugget Way', right into the alley, while my wife and I enjoy a free prime rib dinner. I must admit, I felt a little bit bad for the poor bastard. But then my free pecan pie and cappuccino arrived, well, I just had to go with the flow and fill my chakras.

It was a wonderful exciting day and we finished right on budget. That is, broke. Our gambling money for the day was gone, gone, gone. And so were we.

    1 comment:

    1. "Am I allowed to gamble while I wait?"

      "Am I allowed to get loaded and then go gamble?"

      Classic stuff! I can't believe you said it with a straight face.


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