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Saturday, November 19, 2016

An Alarming Affair on the Cutting Edge

Day 3 - Monday Oct 24 - Part 4

As Flusher always says, "Change your shirt, change your luck." I thought I'd go one better and change all of my clothes, and a layer of skin too.

The bathroom in the Cal parlour suite is around the corner from the door, in an alcove, and has it's own door as well. Many bathrooms do. Point is, it's a ways from the door.

By the way, I have found only one disposable razor in my entire lifetime worth buying and using - the Shick XTreme 3 Katana Manblade featuring seventeen Rigidflex cutting elements, KY lube strip, and Frank Gehry designed standle (styled handle). All you have to do is grasp the standle and simply put the razor against your cheek and the seventeen blades give you an instant, complete, close and comfortable shave.

I closed the bathroom door, unsheathed one of the Xtreme 3 Katana Manblades, and placed it, and the shaving goo, and the little thing of shampoo they give you (upgraded from previous stays at the Cal, by the way), placed a bath towel nearby, turned on and adjusted the water for temperature, direction, and distance, and entered the showering chamber. (Those of you who have showered will be familiar with the general procedure required, of course.)

By the way, any Savvy showerer of the male persuasion has learned how to shave without a mirror. That includes Flushiebirthdaysuitpants - this makes for an easy, close, and pain free shaving experience, and of course, clean-up is a snap. You just shave ahead of time around the parts you really need to see, like temples, or soul patch, and do the rest Roman style.

I recommend it heartily. Get yourself a box of those tiny round bandaids, and start training!

The water felt fantastic and rejuvenating (great showerhead!) and I got wet all over (shush), cranked open the shampoo, and lathered up pretty much all over with a generous handful of the stuff.

And that's when all showery hell broke loose. First, I heard someone talking - a man's voice. Someone in the suite!!!


Maybe maintenance? I hadn't bolted the door in case QQ wanted in.

And then I heard the unmistakable, incredibly loud sound of the fire alarm. SHIT!

I shut off the water and I could hear more voices - what the hell??? I gingered my way to the bathroom door, sopping wet, and heard it, "LEAVE THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY. PROCEED TO THE NEAREST EXIT. DO NOT TAKE THE ELEVATOR."


I grabbed towel and started wiping down, shampoo and all, as fast as I could, wrapped the towel around my waist, and ran for the door. I peeked out and saw someone go by, pushing someone in a wheelchair. They were definitely on their way to the exit.

I closed the door and started running around from suitcase, to bathroom, to discarded clothes, and back again, like someone on a Japanese game show.

"OK, focus, FP, you can do this. Your life depends on it - just don't panic."

I'd laid out clean socks and underwear, so I went for those. Pull the socks over still wet feet took forever. I might as well as had pine tar on my insteps. Underwear, not as bad. Finally on. Back to the suitcase, making my socks sopping on the bathroom floor.

All this time the fire alarm is sounding off at 3000 decibels (estimated) and the godlike automated Mr. 3rd Ring of Hell Fire Alarm voice is telling me I am about to perish 1980's MGM Grand style in about 13 seconds if I don't get out the goddamn exit (without using the elevator, natch).

Grabbed my dirty flight pants, same casino-stinky shirt, bolted, zipped, buckled, and then the shoes. Had to tie number 1 shoe three times, got number 2 shoe on and...

...the alarm stopped.

All quiet.

And then the man who'd been in my suite (via the speaker) clicked on saying that "The emergency system test is now over."

So there I was. Dressed. Half showered, half layered in left over shampoo. Wearing clean underwear and filthy clothes.

I took a minute to calm down and utter various curse words and get my (rarely used) wits about me.

I headed down the hall - for the elevator, and the casino.

And as I approached the elevator foyer, the man came on again.

"We're going to run another test of the emergency system. You can just ignore the fire alarm. Thanks!... Flusher, there's shampoo behind your left ear."

While I rode the elevator, rubbing my stubble, and smelling alternately of 10,000 farts airplane seat cushions and lightly fragranced meadow spring flower shampoo, I reflected.

The worse things get for me, the more entertaining it is in the blog.

The Quad Queen had been rocking the ten play at Main Street, and had been dealt a number of threes-of-a-kind, but had had trouble getting any quads out of it. I listened to her gambling rant, nodded, looked stern, nodded, and thought of what might happen on the next episodes of some of my gold shows.

Here are some 3D action shots from our goings on at MSS.

These are rare now.

The Quad Queen was on a pretty hot streak, so when we took a break, I had a brill idea. It was also a desperation ploy on my part because I was on a pretty cold streak.

"Let's play..... The Loose Doose!"

"Great idea!"

It's a short pay game but we'd throw $20 each at it and hope for the deuces which pay 2,500 quarters - $625.

We sat down, got our cards in and so on, and as I fumbled for a twenty in my gambling wallet, the Quad Queen was already starting to play.

"Got it," she said.

"Got what?"

"Second hand. Anything else you want to try?"

I'm telling you, the woman has a way with deuces.

So I fat-fingered away for a while, trying for the deuces. I had three of 'em a couple of times, but couldn't seal the deal. I dropped $80 and found that I had but $20 of my stake for the day left.

I decided to take a desperation flyer on dollar Treasure Chest. Go big or sit in the room playing Keno, right?

I had hit a 'happy' machine, one that had a penchant for winning hands, worked it up over $100, and then, by the hairs on Kenny Blankenship's chinny-chin-chin, I hit four of a kind booty!
Not to be outdone, the QQ got her own set of 10s.
I had lots of dollars to play with and kept at it, hoping for maybe a Royal? And in fact, I was dealt four-to-a-Royal again, and again, didn't get it.

I cashed out $100 after putting in $3200 coin in. Not too shabby!

We played some triple play on the wall, and I opted for Boner Deluxe. Got a couple of quads, and had a decent stake in there, but then got greedy and stupid and alcoholy and blew it allllll back.

Yes, I blew it all back. I felt stupid, because it was stupid. It's always stupid when it doesn't work.

Another $100 went into Stupor Times Flay DDB in about 4 minutes. Sheesh.

It had been a long day of playing and I was tapped out, and the Quad Queen was covering me. We opted to pick up a couple of miniatures, a keno ticket, and take a break in the room. I could finish shaving and get the soap off, too.

In the elevator on the way up, we encountered a woman wearing a dress that was black on one side, and white on the other.

"Are you going with the dark side, or the light side?" I asked.

"I'm going with the GREEN side!!!" she said.

The rest of the evening was filled with me taking 'just one more hundred' for my stake and losing it. On Megabucks, other stupid slots, various VP games, and finally, dollar Boner Deluxe, trying for a repeat miracle. And yes I did finish up with the Shick XTreme 3 Katana Manblade featuring seventeen Rigidflex cutting elements, get the shampoo off me, and into some clean clothings.

Dinner was at the Redwood Steakhouse, and who should we encounter in the bar? Favorite Server Dorothy!!!

"Don't tell me you've been here all day!!!" I said, alarmed. She would have done the graveyard shift, finished at 9:00, and been drinking for ten hours.

"No, no, I went home, showered, changed."

"Well that's good. Showered eh? Must be nice."

We had a proper chance to say goodbye, exchange hugs all around, and get some pictures. A happy coincidence.

Dinner was fabulous again, as you can see:

Crab cake with spicy aioli and green pea salad. Fabulous.

French onion soup. Under-browned though.

Creme brulee with berries, whipped cream, and stent.
For our entree we split a bone in rib-eye. I gave Mrs. Flusher the bone. (Shush.)

One of the highlights was when somebody dropped a couple of entrees six feet behind my head. That made for some relaxing dining, like being on a south-sea fucking island.

This is a rather long post for me, in part because this was a rather long trip. And we'd best get on with it, eh. There is so much more to come - our incredible costumes at Wynn which you have to see to believe, flying with Cousin Piffles, surprise cheese, and heart pounding hand after hand sort of watching a TV and pressing buttons video poker action!

RF: Day -$900 Trip -$1400  - it's starting to look like one of 'those' trips.
QQ: Day +$1040 Trip +$940
Combined -$640
Royal attempts from four: RF: 28 QQ: 1

Lots, lots, lots more to come!


    1. Flusher, you are my one exception to avoiding segmented TRs.
      Over the decades, I would bet the fire alarm has gone off at MSS at least 6 times. Four times in the casino, no biggie and nobody moved. But twice while we're in the room and that is a little scary.

    2. Well, finally a read that I could get my teeth into, before having to hit the publish button. I laughed, I cried, I cringed (when you put those dirty clothes back on) and sighed with contentment, when I found I could scroll down a bit, and then a bit more!


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