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Saturday, December 31, 2016

Make Me Smile

Living life is just a game so they say
All the games we used to play fade away

It's been a weird year, in the sense that never in my life have I had more opportunities to get Royals Flush (number of hands played, dealt four-to-a-royals, amount of multiplay) than I had this year.
In the time in front, the time in back. Or, the Future is in the Past.
And yet, as the afternoon wore on, I had to begin to come to grips with the fact that I was probably not going to get a single Royal in Vegas in 2016 - my lone Royal would be the one I nailed from four at the Flusherville Casino and Bingo, which has about 19 machines and a blackjack table with half the felt missing. (I've heard rumblings that the felt may be replaced next year, due to the Sliver Injury class action lawsuit now before the magistrate.)

When will I be back in Vegas? I honestly don't know. But I think it's going to be a while. Don't worry, I'll still be around in one form or another.

Meanwhile, though, there is more shocking Vegas action (carpet static) to describe!

First, though, an update on Roam Mobility... after communicating with Roam in a savvy, effective manner, they have agreed to refund me on all of the service that I did not receive.

Thank you Roam Mobility for doing the right thing.

This morning, I received a response to my support ticket from 11 days ago. Eleven days. It starts like this:

"Dear Mr. Flusher,

Please note this is an automated response based on the inquiry you sent."

The Quad Queen crashed out on cough syrup and cumulative fatigue while I wrote up the last blog post. She showed no signs of consciousness, and plenty of signs of snoring. I used the time to start packing, and grab a shower and a shave. I also went and ate a Reuben sandwich. Not as good as the other day.

I woke the QQ up after an hour to make sure she was ok, and she was, but wanted to sleep some more. At least the syrup was working, and she wasn't coughing.

I went down to the casino, just to be considerate. The day had had so many flipflops, I really didn't know which way it was going to land. I tried all kinds of things, including $60 on Beefaloo. Out of that I got ONE bonus round, which netted me.... $2.00. Apparently it is possible to get nothing, so I felt very grateful to providence for rewarding my $0.60 bet so richly.

I tried Flashy, and it teased me with yet another Royal fail.
Foiled by a Five.
I gave the ten-play a go, but it ate $100. I was really hoping not to have a bad losing day. But its the last day, so do you go big? What do you do? Quit?

You play blackjack and drink a Heineken. Which I did, losing half or so of my $100 buy-in.

Finally, the Quad Queen made an appearance, and she went big. $100 on dollars, repeated three times on three different machines. It was ugly.

On machine number four, she cranked out a decent quad and a straight flush. So she regained all her ground.

Meanwhile I was getting killed - and it was to the point where I'd hit my mental limit for the day. Which is set to about 39 IQ points, or $500, whichever comes first.

So, I took a last chance end of the trip plunge with the handful of $5 chips in my pocket and headed to roulette. I'd kept getting dealt pairs of 5s so I reasoned that I should bet it on 5.

I played what I call the Itchy Red Hedge and Point system. I bet $5 on 5, $5 on another random number, and $5 on red.

A bunch of reds in a row came up, so the even money bet on red saved my hedge a number of times.

And then... and then....

I hit it straight up and pocketed about $175. I was alive!!!
I gave roulette one more spin, lost, and headed back to video poker with the Quad Queen. After cashing my chips, I played some dollar machine and hit a quad (no picture - big deal), and wisely cashed with $100 profit.

We played some more, but there was nothing else worthy of a photo. The trip was closing with a whimper. It was time to finish packing, take care of the host, cash our points for cash, and eat dinner.

Next thing I knew, I was in a limo bound for McCarran, my last day in Vegas coming to a close.

The airport machines?! Forty bucks in about three minutes. There would be no airport lastgasm heroics. Rouge was on time, and we settled into our big ole seats up front. They plied me with alcohol (a double vodka) which sent me to slumberland as we rocketed east through the night.

Coming in to Pearson, I had some music on shuffle, and I pondered my horrible royal luck, and my many blessings.

A song from Chicago II came on, Now More Than Ever, which contains a reprise of Make Me Smile, and it provided an absolutely perfect soundtrack to the landing. It was incredible (because such small things trigger such wonderment in my headbone).

Kind of hard to describe without visuals, but here goes.

I gazed over the city which was getting closer and had just popped into 3D. I thought about all the good things in my life and how this chapter was coming to a close.

There was a little chop as the drum solo halfway through the song hit and the rhythmic horn stabs following fit the way the buildings were rushing by, chaos coming closer and closer, faster and faster as we dropping into the mayhem, wings rocking from side to side.

And then, buildings, cars, telephone poles, dumpsters... it all dropped away as we swooped over the airport and flared over the runway, which appeared in my window just as the final, long, sustaining horns blared louder, stretching, reaching, holding on for what seemed like forever, our wheels just above ground, the plane still barely flying when it seemed impossible. The wheels hit just as the song ended.

I hope through all of these posts, somewhere, I made you smile.


    1. Wonderful report. I played every royal scare with you hoping for the best.

    2. Another gem, RF. As always, thanks for bringing us along. Even though we may not comment much you have aquifer a few loyal readers who love every one of your reports. You're due to snap back with many royals in 2017!

    3. Another great series...I felt like I was losing with you every day. Sorry that RF now means "Royal Flopper". But looking forward to your next trip and Royal Redemption!

    4. I love reading your reports; your writing is superbly humorous! You keep me going until my next trip. I hope your trips continue. Happy New Year!

    5. Smile indeed we did, sir. May the spring thaw bring with it Vegas offers that you can't refuse!

    6. Will miss the daily updates to brighten up my breakfast time. Sorry things went (royally) bad financially. I can relate, I have won zilch during my trips in 2015 and 2016. Looking forward to your next trip almost as much as to my own, haha! Thanks for writing it all up for us.

    7. >>I hope through all of these posts, somewhere, I made you smile.<<

      Smiling, chuckling, chortling, and outright guffawing are always part & parcel with a "Flusher" trip report (as well as the occasional misty eye). Thank you, thank you for your wit, wisdom, and vicarious thrills!

    8. Enjoyed the whole trip report as always! Hopefully the Royal drought will end in 2017!

    9. so was the total loss north of 6 grand? Why not do a high limit blowout on your next trip. Bet that would triple your views. cant wait to see you back.

    10. Okay so it's been almost an 8 week cooling off period. Has any pre-trip planing started for 2017? or Do we count you among the Vegas fallen. We know that a complete withdrawal from degeneracy is as likely as giving up Ciroc vodka by a person who's name rhymes with CJ.

    11. Thanks for taking time to write these, very entertaining. Keep on being grateful for the little things.


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