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Friday, May 19, 2017

How Low Can Culinary Go?

Thursday was moving day. I'd be leaving all those hot Ms. Seniors behind at the Tropicana (don't you just want to crawl into one of those make-up caked wrinkles and just snuggle there forever?) and moving on to T.I. aka Treasure Island.

I'd had such a stellar first night racking up a gigantico $5 win and then been so disappointed the next day, losing some, that I forced myself to work on a blog post, skip breakfast, and nibble on the other half of the Trop cookie, and some punishment nuts from home. I splurged on a large Americano (which took 25 minutes to purvey from the clueless baristas in the lobby of the club tower - I've seen glaciers move faster than these lumps).
Punishment Breakfast. Except for the rather good halfa cookie.
Think I'm being harsh? One of the two cash registers, when manned, takes cash only. It was like that yesterday and not fixed. Thus the line 30 people deep.

And sadly, none of the people in that line were Ms. Senior USA contestants, the ones that make my heart do a shuffleboard slide.

For some reason, I've spent much of the past few days missing meals, and generally starving. And by the time I was done writing, and got packed up, showered, shaved, etc. I was starving again.

The plan was I'd hit a place for breakfast, get some stuff at Walmart, maybe hit the Pinball Hall of Flame, and move to T.I.

I found myself driving by 19 suitable breakfast places, and then pulling into a Walmart about 30 miles east of the Strip, on Tropicana.

There were all kinds of things I needed from Walmart including some high grade punishment foodal items like packaged cheese hunks, turkey peckeroni sticks, Triscuits, a utility knife for cutting American Casino Guide coupons, and of course, a bottle of utility bourbon (Evan Williams, $9 the bottle).

After an hour of searching out stuff I was ready to drop.

And this is where it got really degenerate. I bought a $5 ready-made sub and loaded up on mayo and mustard packets.

In a town with 10,000 restaurants, I ate my first "meal" of the day sitting in my rental car in the Walmart parking lot.
I happened to be right by the Pinball Hall of Flame and spent some wonderful time in there, bangin' those pleasure machines, and chasin' the factory girls underneath the boardwalk.

I took a bunch of pictures and will probably do a pictorial over on RF World when I get back.
CTUG chips? Am I in heaven? I snagged a bag to frag in my room.

Check-in at T.I. was an absolute breeze. I've had a run of corner rooms at T.I. and got one again. They are great because they have windows on two walls. This time I'm facing north and west.

With my 3 night comp room offer came $200 freeplay, so I set about seeing how much of that I could turn into cash, and next thing I knew I'd gambled most of the rest of the day.

One of the coolest things to happen to me was at the end of the day when I was too "tired" to concentrate. So, mindless Keno.

I came up with a strategy which involves Four Card Keno, and picking a general group of numbers close together. I overlapped a lot of the numbers and had different numbers of spots - a 3, a 4, a 5, and a 6 spot.

I looked away for a second and looked down to see I'd hit a bunch. 5 out of 5 and a 4 out of 4 I think.

So, Mr. Savvy-ass had his best win of the day on Keno, which a chimp could play. (I proved this last night, stumbling around like Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp.)

Shout out to Funkhouser who I had hoped to beat at pinball. Unfortunately, not to be this time around.


    1. When I stayed at Longhorn, I ate at both Dennys and Walmart. Ah, fine vacation dining.

    2. I remember playing that early Royal Flush pinball game. It was a good one.

    3. Did any of the factory girls unsnap their jeans ? ;)


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