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Saturday, September 16, 2017

Sugar Baby and Big Money Haircut

Funkhouser is in town, so we got together to do a night of gambling, drinking, and some dinner downtown on my Four Queens comp dollars.

My personal seat at the Four Queens bar on Fremont Street.
We decided to meet at the Downtown Grand because he had some freeplay there. Sounded good to me, I've had great luck getting Aces at that bar, especially on freeplay.

We met up and to my surprise, I also had some free play - an earth shattering $5. I turned the same amount into over a grand last trip, so why not do that again?

I'll tell you why. Because I was a lucky son of a bitch last trip, that's why.

And not this trip, particularly, that's why.

In fact, I was losing pretty badly all day. But Funk has had a stellar year and yelps in a little pain every other step because of the diamond studded golden horseshoe up his ass. Funk is also very lucky, except when it comes to rectal equine impingements.

It's okay, though - the encrusted diamonds on the golden horseshoe are sourced from conflict-free zones.

To wit, my luck.

I had some sort of mental eye-hand-finger-elbow coordination fuck up here. Yup, the 3 5 unsuited hold is the secret hold of the video poker experts...

Another four-to-a-royal, another Ah Fuck!
Funk texted me: I'm in the DTG.
Me: I'm at the Furnace bar, on the west side.
Funk: Which side is that?
Me: (looks around) The side you're not on.

We met up and grabbed a couple of stools, ordered up, and Inserted Coin up. It was good to see him, and we hashed over all typical stuff, including lots of great gossip which will never be divulged. We also traded notes on horseshoe removal surgeons, recovery tips, and so on.

It didn't take long for Funk Luck to make itself known, and I hit a decent quad. But the man would not be outdone and pulled up this beauty from one deuce.

Funk Flops Four From One
I was sitting at the same seat I'd gotten those fabled Aces on, and my Funk luck continued.

I finished my latest Maker's rocks, and he finished his latest Crown Royal Apple. I started to insist that he was ordering Crown Road Apple, but thought better of antagonizing my good luck supply.

We ambled over to Magnolia's Veranda at the Four Queens. You should see that guy amble. He can amble like nobody's business.

"You get to meet Sugar Baby, Funk," I said as we waited in line.


"The server that calls me Sugar Baby, previously known as the server who calls me Baby, but upgraded me after I heard her calling other diners Baby."

We got a table and sure enough, she was there and came over and gave me a huge hug.

"How are you Sugar Baby?" she said.

"I'm great. I'd like you to meet my friend - "

"Big Money, here," Funkhouse interjected .

"Who?" she said, "Big Money Haircut? What? Big... Haircut??"

"Money. Big Money," said Funk.

"What about the haircut?"

"There's no haircut. I was just saying Big Money here..."

It was far too late. Funkhouser forever more will be known as Big Money Haircut, as far as Sugar Babies are concerned.

We both opted for the upscale Grilled Cheese Platter, which is actually an elevated upscale grilled cheese - and the Platter part means you get fries in a little mini fry basket.

It was good - really good - and we forgot pictures.

Next stop, Silver Strike! Funk got two, I got one, and we cashed 'em all in. There were a few slots he was interested in, so I made a beeline over to my throne spot at the bar on Fremont street, right on the end, facing the action. Accept no imposters!

I got on that thing and within two minutes I had quad fours dealt - it was already worth $100 and I got to draw for the kicker.

For your Flushiemovie Viewing Pleasure I present "Man Draws for Kicker".

I was having a really good recovery evening!

There was more to come, too!

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