Sunday, December 10, 2017

Lucky Honey


It was time to turn around. Cairns was the end point of our trip and we were headed back to Sydney.

"I'm going to miss,  Cairns" I said. "I really enjoyed the Great Barry Reefer trip."

"How come you are always using wrong words for things?"

"Because that's what a numerologist does. Next question."

I had my final bash at free breakfast in the Horizon Club lounge, said so long to Sheila Holly, one of my favorite lounge Sheilas, and we headed out.

Down the elevator... to the lobby... with our stuff... to summon...

...an Uber.

Well, shit, I had recently been assured that my account was all fixed up. Of course, there was only one way to find out for sure.


I opened the app. I confirmed the pickup location. I set the destination to the airport. I picked the type of Uber. I punched 'Confirm'.

I could have screamed. I might have screamed.

As the Quad Queen effortlessly summoned an Uber on her working phone, I thumbed a scathing addition to my support ticket on mine.

I noticed something odd at the airport. Burger King was masquerading as some knockabout bloke named "Hungry Jack".


Notice the Baconator on the menu? Ultimate Double Wopper? I know a Burger King when I see one. Hungry Jack's is a dumb name for a burger joint. Think about it. If this "Jack" character is so fucking hungry, why is he selling all his burgers?????

I also came across the latest in a string of facepalm sad souvenirs.

Kangaroo scrotum proudly fashioned into a can and bottle opener right here in Australia. Not only that, it's genuine.

We went through the usual airport rigamarole, and I grabbed a photo of our airplane, a nice, shiny, new Qantas 737-800 from the jetway.


"Look! We're on the Spirit of Australia!" I exclaimed. "I'm sure I saw this same plane in Brisbane."

We climbed aboard and had an uneventful flight. I even managed to open the ketchup howitzer they gave me with my meat pie.

It was just a stop or two on the T2 line to Mascot, where our hotel was - the Holiday Inn, conveniently located 5 minutes from the station.


Welcome to Taste Gallery Chinese Cuisine, featuring the full color 'point 'n grunt' menu.
 My takeaway dinner was amazingly good. Chili flavor (Hot Bird Eye) chicken, fried rice, hot 'n savvy soup.



So, why the Holiday Inn Sydney Airport? $250 a night, that's why. Versus the Sydney Hilton, where we stayed before, which, now being in high season, started at $600 a night.

It didn't matter, really. All we were going to do was get some dinner and sleep, and the next day, leave early on the train in search of Dingos.

The Australian Reptile Park can be found in the bustling lakeside city of Gosling, where people who work in Sydney but can't afford to live there end up. It's also a damn pretty town, in a damn pretty part of the country.

We'd spend a couple of hours on the train going up, and it would be a chance to see some more of Australia.

And they had Dingos.






Gosford found, we Ubered it (Quad Queen of course) to the park, where the Park Sheila greeted us.

Not the Park Sheila.
The Park Sheila. There are all sorts of interesting birds in the park!
The Park is privately owned and has been run by the same family for decades, which is pretty cool. They have all kinds of animals, not just reptiles. Lots of mammals, huge tortoises, owls and other interesting birds.

Sometimes it's just too goddamn easy.
We didn't know it, but not only would we see Dingos, we would get up close and personal with some Kangaroos, and Koalas too!

This 'roo is called 'Hoppy'. I'm pretty sure.

The one on the left is called 'Jumpy'. And the one on the right is called 'Drinky'.

Dingos! The one on the left is named Ringo. The one on the right is named Paul.

Check out the way this guy uses his tail when getting out of the creek. Kind of gives the phrase 'third leg' a new meaning.



Some great Koala action - he makes his move!



I call this kangaroo 'Scratchy'. Kangaroos make crackerjack pets. I taught this one to shake hands... he's not for sale though.


It was a great day, our last day in Australia. We took the train back to the city, ate leftovers, and got ready for the long flight back across the Pacific.

Back...

Back...

Back...

...to Las Vegas!

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