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Sunday, December 17, 2017


I am finally understanding way tickets on Keno, which is unfortunate, since the game returns an amount that is so low it is illegal for slot machines in some jurisdictions.

We went to the keno booth and I showed Mrs. Flusher how to make one of my turbo-Keno tickets. And then I tried to make my own. And then I tried to bet it.

Apparently, it wasn't as simple as I'd though. I'd missed some things. And I got very confused and ended up shouting, "What's a King?! I still don't know!"

Here's my ticket. I wanted to play ten ways per game at 25 cents a way. Play for 16 games, to make a nice even cost of $40. And I kept telling them I wanted all the ways and they kept telling me I don't know which ways you want, and is this a king?

The problem was that I only wanted to play a subset of the possible combinations of numbers. For some stupid reason I thought I was playing them all.

And, I can now tell you what a king is.

On the ticket, there are six numbers in play. They are grouped so that 8 and 18 (C and D) are alone. And there are two other groups of two numbers 9 and 19 (B) and 10 and 20 (A).

The numbers that are alone are a group unto themselves for the purposes of combining with other groups - and THAT is what a king is.

So, I wanted 4 groups of 3, three groups of four, two of five and one of six. That's ten ways.

Confused yet?

The group of six is easy - it's all six numbers. The two groups of five is C with B and A (8, 9, 19, 10, 20) and D with B and A (18, 9, 19, 10, 20). And so on.

What I really want to see some day is all six of those number hitting on one game. Because then I'll win a 6 out of 6 ticket, two 5 out of 5s, three 4 out of 4s, and four 3 out of 3s.

Math Poindexter, let me know what I fucked up this time.

Tickets bought (the Quad Queen ditched me about a minute into the process and randomly picked 10 number, dart-style) we headed up to the suite to crash for a while, watch a few games, and grab a few Zs.

How degenerate is that, gambling while you nap?

One game I did see had me on the edge of my seat. You'll recall that I had the numbers in the upper corner in various combinations.

All I needed was that 30 to come in, but it just didn't. I can't recall the exact amount, but I was one number short of winning over $1000.

I collect $352.06 and the Quad Queen collected nothing. I tipped the crew $20 and just then, I could hear the distant hoofs of a majestic fly-covered beast with matted fur and a snotty nose and eyes that glared at me, daring me to bet money on it. BEEEFFFALOOOO!!! was calling!

Down we went again and hit up Buffalo Gold Collection.

We each put in twenty bucks and started pounding. And man, did we have fun. Somehow we both lucked out enough to play, and play, and play. The drinks kept coming, and the bonuses kept rolling. This was the kind of time that keeps me coming back.

It was great to finally be having some luck. But luck turns.

I went to play some triple play and found that the previous player had cashed out 11 quarters. How does that happen?

I can think of two ways, actually, but it sure looked weird.

Triple play ate up most of my winnings, and meanwhile the Quad Queen was not doing any better.

It was getting way past supper time and I had an idea. It was actually almost 9:00 p.m. so we wandered over to the Redwood to see how packed it was.

The rush was over - there were tables available. So we went in, and sure enough, a little sweet talking got us seated. The hostess was so sweet about it too, that I walked back and slipped ten bucks to her in a green handshake.

"Happy Thanksgiving," I said.

We renewed acquaintances with our favorite waiter and ordered. It was great to be back! Remember, the Quad Queen hadn't been to Vegas in a year!

Dinner was amazing. I started with the steamed shellfish, something I've never had before. There were clams, mussels, lobster, shrimp, and other goodies of the sea cradled gently in an amazing Thai inspired coconut broth. It had some kick to it, too. The dish was excellent and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

QQ had the french onion soup - maybe a little over done on top but yummy.

I followed with a medium rare rib-eye. Chef Henry has said that this is the signature dish of the restaurant - the star. And this steak lived up to it. Perfectly cooked, served hot, tender, tasty - one of the best steaks I've eaten.

I had the pan-roasted mushrooms with shallots as a side, to keep it a bit lighter than, say, a loaded 3 pound baked 'tater.

The Quad Queen countered with a lobster tail.

Really tasty mashed potatoes.

Another amazing meal at the Redwood Steakhouse... thank you, Gold Card! At least we get something back from losses!

After dinner we had a bash at some penny video poker on something called Boner Streak.

Oh. My. Gawd. is it fun!

When you hit a paying hand, it sets up a number of bonuses in that position for the next few hands.

Quad fives the hard way. Got the kicker too. Not that it counts.
Even penny games like this one can eat up real money - the killer, killer hand never happened. You could make serious dough on this given the right circumstances.

Say you got dealt a full house, and then in a few hands, every spot has a 12x multiplier. Now you get dealt a quad or maybe Pointies Kicker. That pays 2000. Times 12 is 24,000. Time 10 hands is 240,000 pennies.

That's a lot! A real lot! I'm gonna say $2,400.

(Cue Math Poindexter.)

The Quad Queen did hit one pretty nice Pointies hand though...

Aces kicker with a 3x multiplier. On her Lazarus hand too.

And that's all the shenanigans we got up to for the day. It was a pretty good day - lots of fun, some winning - but overall we didn't gain back any ground. I wouldn't change it, it was great.


    1. Where can I find the "Bonus Streak" penny VP game? You've convinced me I have to try it on my next trip to Vegas. Is it in the Cal? Or MSS? Speaking of MSS, I think you and the Quad Queen should try "Aces No Faces" at MSS the next time you are there. It's a fun VP variant. Love reading your blog, by the way. Keep up the good work.

    2. These are found near the coffee shop, kind of under the end of the down escalator. Basically, walk out of the coffee shop and keep going straight - about 20 feet, they are on your left. Love Aces Sit on my Faces! Great game, I play it every trip for at least $20. One of these days I'm gonna get the dealt Aces!

    3. I am confused Sir all of this action takes place before your trip to Down Under? or after? Thought you were live blogging in Australia........ Enlighten me oh great Blog Master...

      1. Well, let's see... we went to Las Vegas for a couple of days, then flew to LAX and on to Sydney. Then flew to Wellington NZ and trained it to Auckland. Flew to the Gold Coast. Train to Brisbane airport and flew to Cairns. Then we flew to Sydney. And then, we flew back to LAX, and on to Las Vegas for a couple more days. 25,000 miles and boy are my arms tired.

    4. Your math is correct for Double Double Bonus. Thanks for the shout out! :) :)

    5. I thought so but the Thanksgiving stuff threw me off...... I will do my best to be a more savvy reader and follow along as an astute Loyal Flushie. Congrats on 2 million views.... count me in for at least a thousand of those. :-)


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