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Saturday, April 21, 2018

Fifty Free Spins

Monday - Day 10

I wake up on Monday morning with the sticky, stuffy candy bar Monday blues. I've got some sort of something bouncing around my cells, but copious doses of my 'medicine' (which you could call bourbon, I suppose) have helped me gain some ground on it. On balance, though, I can barely face this day of working for The Man, when I should be partying in the casino (and healing the virus with 'medicine').

The Little Giant provides a couple of 3.6 cent cups of solace, warming my hands, and hopefully my frozen soul, and a cup of Torment Oatmeal, to which I added emergency nuts - and I got ready to go to the Grommet Expo conference where I will spend the morning trying, yet again, to figure out just what the fuck 'drayage' is. (Jimmy Poon Hint: dray horses used to pull drays.)

My piPhone 3.14 pops up some sort of notification about a breakfast meeting Norbert is having at a Subway near the conference center, which specializes in submarine sandwiches, and breakfast - not so mucho. And then I remember... I managed to get a hall pass for this dick-in-a-bun rah-rah monotone pep rally breakfast sales-prayer meeting - I booked the day off!!!

Should I go to the pool? It looks great - and it's closed. Because March.
In the words of the immortal tri-syllabic Jargon Ram Bass, "Sa-weeet-ah!".

All of a sudden the day stretches out before me with a million (casino-driven) possibilities, and out of all those possibilities, I settle on walking to Ellis Island to cash in some coupons. Don't look askance, I'm stopping at Bally's, and possibly The Cromwell on the way.

I get my coupon book, Cameron G16 camera, and a few other things together - including bankroll - and take off. It's a long walk down the hall, and I really want to get going, but I take a mo' to photograph some memorabilia from the Danny DeVito / Arnold Schwarzenegger film classic 'Twins'.

Which one is Danny DeVito's?
The strip is fairly quiet this morning, which suits me fine, because I like to just go when I want to walk somewhere, and not get stuck behind the inevitable groups of oblivious six-wide eyeballers from Upper Rubber Boot who have never seen a building taller than 3 stories before, and have to stop in front of everyone to gawk.

Hard to believe this was the Barbary Coast.
My first stop is The Cromwell, where I have heard there is full pay video poker. I find The Video Poker, and put in The Twenty. It all feels The Wrong and it is, and I just can't get into The Groove. In three minutes, I find myself walking to The Exit.

The Bally's, hopefully, will be more engaging. It seems like a good idea to seek out the 2x Reward Credit slot machines, and I find them in a convenient spot - within whiffing distance of a set of pooperies, labeled Men and Women. Just so you know, that's a new word to me too.

The Secret Bally's Double Reward Credit Machines!!! Shhhhhhhh!

The arrangement of the various colorful symbols on the spinning reels, once stopped, mean something magnificent, but I cannot for the life of me fathom what, or how, or why.
One good thing that happens is a woman brings me an ice cold Lucky Heineken. It's luckiness apparently is not for these machines though. Perhaps the Zorro Old Faithful that Funkhouser recommends? Unknown, because that one, when I finally find it, is occupied with some son of a bitch winning untold thousands of pennies.

I am about ready to continue to Ellis Island but I spy with my little eye, and old school Beeeffalloooo machine, one of the ones with at TV tube in it, instead of a $10,000 curved OLED Beeefaalloooo display.

I will give it $20 and not a farthing more - and this is kind of weird, because it has happened to me about four times now - on the last Lazarus spin, I hit a Bonus. Great!

I watch four spins of eight go by and I get enough gold disks to make the bell ring and add more bonus spins. I win some credits. And then I get another ringing bell and more games. And they keep adding on and adding on and I'm thinking 'this could really be a Buffaload of money'.

In all, I get 50 free spins. The winnings aren't what I hoped - about $30. Profit? Hell, no, $30 worth of spins on the same damn machine. It is fun. I'm pretty sure.

Fuck it, I'm done with The Bally's, and head down the road to The Ellis Island, where coupons and blackjack await.


    1. Can you win 10k on Bj? That would be worth reading. No penny machines either!! They are the biggest money maker for the casino.

      1. That would be worth doing. I'm probably under-bankrolled to be able to do that in any reasonable length of time. And I get bored after a few hours. Right now, a more reasonable goal is to take $500 profit off a table, something that I haven't done before either on bj or craps.


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