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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Loco Moco is Mondo Pukka

Sunday - Day 9

I have a rough night. I'm not sure why, but my nose runs, I'm sneezing some, I ache... I think to myself, what could this be? Hmmm....

The answer is, of course, nothing that is going to stop me from drinklegambling. But some comfort breakfast is in order and I do the Loco Moco. Everybody's doing the Loco Moco.

That's Loco Moco - rice, hamburger patty, brown gravy-style ooze, and eggs atop. Beauty!
The Loco Moco is mondo pukka and three kinds of hot sauce make it even better. I'm talking the red Cholula, the green Cholula, and the Tabasco.

This comfort Loco Moco brought to you by Cholula brand Hot Sauce.

Cholula is my favorite sauce right now, and I'm so glad that more places are stocking it. Today, I am seeing if it will help with whatever Vegas aches I've got.

I have a solid plan for the day, which includes moving to T.I. and trouncing them with my $100 freeplay, but much of that solid plan gets completely waylaid. There I am, strolling through the mezzanine at the Cal, minding my own business, when what do I see???

A fat ass progressive, starin' back at me. This sucker is pushing $2400.

It's kind of a cool progressive bank, up there on the second floor. I think it is standalone in terms of the meter, but what sets this one apart is that there is a selection of different games available, all tied to the same progressive.

There are two machines that are more desirable in terms of volatility if your goal is to play as long as you can on your money and have the best possible shot at the Royal. Or you can play White Hot Aces if you like. Or Double Double.

Without hesitation, I saddle up and start chasing this sweet progressive.

It's fun. I change machines quite a few times, enjoying the social aspect of the endeavor, meeting new Hawaiian Aunties and Uncles, and pissing them off.

So what luck do I have?

Well, let's see. I shock myself (again) by hitting an inside straight flush draw, the second time this trip.

And I hit a few other things on different machines.

I play for a couple of hours, really givin' er, but no royals are in sight. Seven almost royals, though. See for yourself, see if you don't get the same sick feeling I get every time this happens. Sick, I tell you, SICK.

I've burned through a couple of hundred dollars without any end result to show for it except for an Auntie-load of Aloha Fun, and a poorly made GIF of my shortcomings.

It's still not anywhere near time to head to T.I., so I decide to go on walkabout and see what the games are like nearby.

I walk into Golden Gate, I circle the quiet pit, I walk out. Every game is $10 and up this morning, and I like to start at $5.

Next stop, the Plaza. I walk in, and stroll down the pit on the right side. There's a whoop, a yell, a "YES", and a person leaping to their feet. And I see that it is, as they say, 'that guy', and I am glad I am not at his table. I look for one that he isn't sitting at.

I circle the pit and survey the games, looking for a $5 blackjack table. There's roulette, Let it Be, Texas Grope 'Em, Caribbean Stud (no change needed), One Card Poker... A sinking feeling of certain destiny overcomes me, and I feel my eyes becoming riveted into a thousand yard stare. My gait becomes slow and deliberate, like a fairly spry Frankenstein's monster. There is only one place for me, it is written, it cannot be unwritten, it is destiny.

I sit at the only open spot at the only open $5 table at the Plaza. I am one person over from 'that guy'.

And so begins one of the most entertaining and absolutely out of control blackjack sessions I've ever had.


    1. There's roulette, Let it Be, Texas Grope 'Em, Caribbean Stud (no change needed), One Card Poker...

      Pure genius.

    2. The links you are sending to my email are corrupted for 2 days.🤐

      1. Not sure what's going wrong there - I get them too, and the last one I tried worked ok.


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