Live Airstream Dispatches - Wed May 23

UPDATED

I'm not sure what this is all about - but I want to be part of it!

It's a beautiful morning in Vegas! I had a great chicken fried rice carbo-fueled sleep, and feel much better.

The Little Giant is kicking out hot Lavazza Rosso coffee into my hotel room glass, and the gas station creamers I stole are adding that 'finesse' that you look for in a cup of room camping coffee.

First stop - $20 free play! Let's see what the day brings.

UPDATE

And the day brought... a shit-storm of bad luck. I was doing so well, too.

Here's an example.

I'm playing blackjack. It's been choppy for two hours.

Mr. Mookfuckdick sits down and I know he is bad news immediately. Why? He buys in with a $50 bill.

EVERYONE knows that $50 bills are unluck. Except Mr. Mookfuckdick.

I've been struggling for two hours and this is my last push. I'm a little over even and I'm going to keep playing until I lose one hand. Whatever I have over my buy-in is my winnings.

My hand is a ten against the dealer's five. I double and get an eight. I'm sitting not too bad.

Mr. Mookfuckdick has fourteen against the dealers five. So he takes a card. WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOING?????

What card does he get? He gets a seven. This is the card that the dealer would have busted with. The twat player, that poor excuse for a fit of twatness, has 21.

The third player stands, like he should.

What's the next card out of the shoe?

A SIX.

Dealer has 21. I lose. I curse. I give Mookfuckdick the stink-eye. After two hours, I'm up $20, which disappears in three minutes at the bar on short pay Bonus Poker, while I'm waiting for a shitty well vodka.

The best thing that happened to me? Nothwithstanding a really premium piss-boner first thing, the best thing that happened was this bacon cheeseburger I ate 20 minutes ago.