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Thursday, May 24, 2018

VIctor Victoria Day - Live Dispatches May 24

UPDATED 3:06pm

Happy Victoria Day, everybody. I'm sure that everyone will think fondly of Queen Victoria in Canada, the UK, and the rest of the world by Canadian proxy.

USA, let's just hold on for Memorial Day and let off the fireworks then, OK? Cool.

What I Have Accomplished Today

- found my foam earplugs on the nightstand for the second night in a row. No idea how they got out of my ears.
- google 'earplug fairy' and get some pretty awful image results
- make two cups of delicious Little Giant coffee and consume with pilfered gas station creamer and Starbucks stevia
- perform various bodily ablutions on request
- spend an hour and a half with Jimmy Poon on the phone, overseeing some updates to the website code that spits unwanted ads onto your devices. An unfortunate necessity due to the Poon Moneytization effort.
- mentally figure out a justification for losing around $400 yesterday. My bill at Plaza would have been about $340. However, due to my savvy gambling prowess, I was able to generate enough play while losing very little dough to get $300 of it comped. Thus, I simply played money that I would have spent anyway.
- feel joyous that I only lost $100 "virtual dollars"
- crank out a blog update (this one)

I love the desert. Here's the view out my window right now:

Here's the plan...

I'm going to go down to the casino and use my freeplay to win a stake for the day. I might sample the buffet for breakfast as well.

After that, who knows? I might be drinklegambling if all goes well, or I might be shoe shopping if it doesn't. My Merrills are about worn out.


It's apparently possible to play 2000 hands of video poker without getting four of a kind (or a straight flush or a royal). How about that.

I'm staying close to base today because of the clanging in the pipes. You can figure the rest out for yourself.

I skipped breakfast and tried out the buffet for lunch. It was okay, but not worth burning up my entire $25 food allotment for. I have enough comp points to get something small for dinner.

In what has to be an astounding coincidence, there is an identical chocolate chip cookie to the one pictured up in my room. It is molecule for molecule the same. I can't imagine how that could happen.

The problem with gambling is when it goes bad, it also goes fast. And I've had a bad patch the last 24 hours. This leaves you with not much to do when you also feel kind of crummy.

Possibilities include sleeping (free, already done for this afternoon), fucking around on the internet (blogging also under this category), trying to desperately think of something fun you can and want to do for free (fail), watch TV (avoiding), or work on the blog with Jimmy Poon and wonder how this is vacation (in progress).


    1. I had $50 freeplay at Binions that I thought was going to finance a bankroll. It didn't. Hate.

    2. Throw yourself fully clothed into a Lake Bellagio (or the hotel pool) and emerge shouting “I am reborn, a new man! I no longer suck at gambling!”

    3. I wonder if that amazing Big Red Drink was more ways than one. ‘Tricky Tummy not conducive to happy aura.’
      ...another fortune cookie saying.

    4. $10 at a smoke shop, get you through the next two days of gambling.

    5. Drinkleing is cheaper.


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