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Thursday, October 18, 2018


At Royal Flusher Vegas headquarters, in a steel-clad vault deep in my basement in Flusherville, where Jimmy Poon runs the technical side of the Clownism that is my blog, there's a screen that shows how many people are reading, and roughly where they are located. It uses the information that anyone requesting a page anywhere on the internet includes with the request - an IP address.

Which is stupid, I know the address of the IP - the Imperial Palace...

Anyway, somebody in the fine locality of Pleasureville has been dutifully ploughing their way through the many marginally entertaining pages to be found on the blog.

Whoever you are, Pleasurevillite, I admire your tenacity, if not your choice of reading material. Well done to keep going! Thank you for being a loyal reader.

And isn't Pleasureville the perfect name for this, Gambling Central in the heart of Unincorporated Clark County?

I have to admit, I was pretty down after returning from Ellis Island. I didn't even want to model my free t-shirt pantless by the hotel room window, as I usually do. One gets tired of losing, even if one has only been in Pleasureville II for 24 hours.

And so that's when I got the brilliant plan, and immediately I was having fun again. I threw on my t-shirt, took my pants off, did a couple of Ru Paul passes in front of the window, and headed out to catch the SDX. The stop is really convenient from here, right outside Paris.

Downtown was the usual beat-on-a-plastic-five-gallon-pail hubbub of fun that it usually is, and I made my way into the Nugget.

This is where it always gets exciting. Is the freeplay I thought I had actually there... (and is the freeplay an unnamed queen of interest had actually there...)

Short story long, yes. and yes. I played my $25 through and did okay, but I really wanted to make something out of it if I could, and that's how I managed to cash out zero.

But on round two, a second $25 (don't ask me why, but the Nugget has been handing out freeplay like Canadian health system flu shots - I have three rounds of it this trip!) brought forth, in the middle of an incredibly poorly constructed sentence, A GENUINE QUAD!!!


I got to play for quite a while, and cashed out with $65 on the meter. I'd put in $20, so that's $45 profit out of $50 free play. Well done, Flusher!

Next stop the Four Queens, where a certain someone had $20 on their card in freeplay.

And I turned that into $20 in cold hard folding cash on one of their 6/9 Jacks machines.

I left a card there, so if you want one, now is the time. It probably won't be there long.

Next stop, the Mikes Bar where one Mike was holding court. I spent an enjoyable two beers there, sipping, and playing their fine Double Double Bonus game.

Sadly, it cost $20 a beer plus tip - I couldn't hit anything.

Dinner? Free? Yes, I think so. I had a coupon for dinner at the Cal coffee shop, and it got me the Prime Rib special with all I can eat salad bar, a drink, and dessert, which I skipped.

The Prime Rib was quite good, but thinly sliced, which didn't bother me. I ate it all up.

A free $13 meal makes you feel like you made up for $88 in gambling losses. Don't ask me how that is, but it is.

The spot from which I watched my magnificent Keno win in May 2018.

My favorite triple play machine with the Deuces on it is gone to I know not where.

I thought I'd try to get some traction on that purple chip at blackjack. $40 says no way, Jose. It wasn't good.

Another $21 in the Burning Itching 7 machines that you always see pictures of where people win $1000 plus jackpots. Nothing.

And with that I was pretty much out of my day's stake. I had just enough to take a shot at a sweet Royal progressive. And by Godfrey I came close. But just close. Still, it was great fun.

After that, it was catch the SDX back to the strip, avoiding any drug deals in the process. It went much better than last time.

Since I've done about 120,000 steps on my FatBit today, I of course, got lost in Paris, going down what I thought was the way to Bally's, then thinking (erroneously) that it was the wrong way, and backtracking to the casino, just to find that it actually was the right way.

I had to smell that amazing fucking pizza from that pizza place three times without buying any.

If you follow on Twitter, you know the rest. A nice bottle of cheap bourbon and some in-room Keno action to round the day out.

Tomorrow, a change... to Luxor, and some more freeplay!

Technical FYI - Jimmy Poon is screwing around with a content management tool that is supposed to pick up the blog posts and auto-post them to Faceblast and Twit, so I don't have to waste any degenerate Vegas time doing it.

He hasn't quite sorted it, and there seems to be quite a delay between when the posts post and when they get shared. You can always find the latest on the blog, obviously.


    1. 5 3 J K 10 rainbow may be the funniest video poker photo ever. Held J. lol

    2. We seem to be in Vegas a lot of the same times you are. We were playing the 9/6 bank (or 6/9 in 4Q's parlance) most of the 18th. We must have seen you at some point.

      I also have one of your cards that I picked up off one of the machines in that same bank a couple of trips ago.


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