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Saturday, February 16, 2019

Royal Flusher, the Chancellor and Under-Treasurer of the Exchequer

You know what? I like planning Vegas gambling stuff. In fact, I love it. I love tinkering with arcane made-up rules, dodgy strategies, and dubious money management schemes. Sometimes, they even pay off.

Long-time readers of this blog will know that I gyrate through over-planning panics every trip, just as surely as I spiral out through financial spins at the end. This time it's no different.

Royal Flusher, the Chancellor and Under-Treasurer of Her Majesty, the Quad Queen's Exchequer

This is something we've never done before. I am going to be the one to dole out the gambling stakes. Here's how it's going to work.

Our budget will be $500 a day. (God help us if we lose all of it every single day.) I am going to hand out only twenty dollar bills, with one exception - I will use hundreds to buy in at table games. I don't want to be the guy that spends five minutes digging through every pocket to dump two tens, a five, a bus pass, a fifty cent piece, and three sweaty singles onto the felt.

You know that guy don't you? He has a backpack on. He strolls up and watches from right behind you for 10 minutes, and then commits his $16 or whatever, plays two hands, and then he's broke and he leaves.

Anyway, I've noticed a propensity for very bad things to happen when I dump hundies into machines. With twenties, if things go badly, there is a natural stopping point at which one can apply the last shred of self control left in one's gambling quiver, and fire it wildly in the air somewhere toward the target of moderation.

Our choice of machines will be better this time. We'll stick to single line quarters as our base, with excursions from there. We'll use the Strict Rules of Parlay at times, but we won't buy in at higher denoms. Our main games will be Bonus Poker and Jacks.

When staying on the strip, we'll get somewhere where there are good paytables. All it takes is a Lyft ride or a bus pass and you can be at Ellis Island (or you can walk to Cromwell, for that matter), play the odd machine at Cosmo with a decent paytable, head to a locals place like South Point, Orleans, or Palace Station, or head downtown. No more 7/5 double double for the most part. We'll treat higher volatility stuff as a dessert, not a main course.

What else? Where there's 3:2 blackjack, I'll play it a lot more. I keep saying it and don't do it. But my results at the table have been pretty good, and certainly less volatile than the machines. And I still want that purple chip!

And what of Buffalo? I will probably play the old style ones at Luxor I did so well on and see if that continues, but again, video slots will take a back seat to stronger plays. That goes for you too, Keno. Dessert, not a plate of staple.

For bankroll management, we are going to try something we've never, ever done before. Our win/loss will be calculated as a team. And, I've figured out a way to prevent blowing back a big win that still leaves some reward towards future degenerate gambling action.

If, between the two of us, we win on the day, we'll split the profit to add to the next day's bankroll up to a total of $100 each. For every $1000 we're ahead on the day, $200 can go into the next day's bankroll.

For example, let's say I'm up $200 on the day and QQ is up $150 on the day for a total of plus $350. The next day we each get $100 extra and $150 goes "home" (This does not mean it goes into my secret wallet compartment for playing when nobody knows about it. No it does not. Really. Not.)

Say we win $1500 between the two of us. The next day, we each get $100 out of the first thou, and $100 out of the second, while $800 plus $300 goes home. We should be so lucky.

What else is on the list? A few more planned activities to get us out and about and away from the casinos. I might even try to drink less while playing - because that's when I get stupid, and do stupid things, like playing 4 hands of stupid $25 a hand VP in 8 seconds and losing $100.

Gambling is a serious business, Russ.


    1. Hey there RF - for some reason i thought Oxtail Stew was only M/W at MSS' buffet (and on Fri at Market St Cafe)? Either way I too get it every chance i can!

      1. Definitely the Friday special at Market Street. I like the stew way better than the soup.

      2. Me too - better by far (IMO)! Just messy to eat but who cares right?

    2. Yeah I tried that the first time we went to Vegas ,months of planning ,reams of paper ,where ,when,how ,money in daily envelopes, because we had never even been in a casino in our lives,the well laid plans lasted about 93 seconds.

      1. It's like Christmas morning when every last stinking envelope is torn open and empty on the floor. Yeah.

    3. u gotta wait til July / Aug for your next trip?

      1. Naw, that's just an old pic. I'm too lazy to force Jimmy Poon to come up with something creative for a change.

    4. Boss, you know you’ve got to start with more than $100 on the table, to win your mythical purple (a Barney in our parlance down here in KY)

    5. Oh, and you are right..,The Cromwell is a wonderfully-hidden gem with great table and video odds; and an awesome live music happy hour, Hope CT doesn’t mess it up.

    6. Oh, and you are right..,The Cromwell is a wonderfully-hidden gem with great table and video odds; and an awesome live music happy hour, Hope CT doesn’t mess it up.

    7. When are you going to be in Vegas?

    8. Ill be looking for one of those famous cards of yours!

    9. Want to stretch your gambling budget and do something different? Try to squeeze your way into a sports book or free viewing party sometime during the first rounds of March Madness. Make a few cheap parlay bets. You won't know what you're doing, but you'll probably do as well as most everyone else, and the atmosphere is great!


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