Lessons from Big Salad Mountain

Blog posts detailing how and where royal flushes were hit, reliving the joy of the moment, are so much fun to write. Sadly, this isn't one of those posts.

On day 8 here, we're in a groove now at the California, and sometimes a little routine is just the way I like it. I drink my L.G. coffee in the room while writing up the previous day's activities, and then grab breakfast at the counter in the coffee shop. Simple, fast, hot, greasy, and delicious. The breakfast is good too.

Let's make the best of it, shall we?

First thing this morning, we watched a guy spend 20 minutes trying to open the hood of his SUV. He put on a cheeky display.

If you must judge, hopefully it will be a split decision.

The Quad Queen spent some time coming up with taglines, and this is the best of them. In fact, it's all of them.

Name that Super Moon.

Anal car owner.

Butt of many jokes.

Surprised he didn’t back her in.

Crack of Don

Assman. 

At least the hoods stayed closed.

Tailgate party?

Sunburn my... 

Buns McGee. 

Cheeking the oil?

Better get Phil McCrackin.

Will he beat the spread?

You want a dog with those buns?

He has a wife, you know... Incontinentia Buttocks

The photos really serve two purposes - one, they demonstrate what a great camera system the piPhone 3.14 Plus has, and second, they serve as a touchstone for the kind of day we had in front of us.

We started off the day on the feast or famine slant-tops in front of the Cal cage. I blew through $100 with nary a whimper or sign of a quad. Mrs. F. managed one. After that, I ate, while she lost, and then we tried the stupid video keno.

I'm kind of mad at her for winning $100 because she picked random numbers and got six out of seven. Seven is too hard to get, and if she'd just had six numbers and got them all, we'd be looking at a ticket much bigger than that.

This is how my mind 'works'.

In her defense, she says she might not have picked the right six numbers. Which is true, I suppose. These things keep me up at night.

I blew through $100 on 50 cent Bonus Poker and still had no quad for the day. QQ did get another though.

Next we spent some time on the old dollar Jacks coin droppers, the ones that actually spit out the coins every time you win anything. That is a fun way to pass time. The hands play so slowly that you are betting less per hour than at quarter slant tops, and you have to fuck with the coins. Plus, you have a shot at decent money.

It was really a lot of fun, but obviously, there are no winning photos.

We tried some Treasure Chest, where I finally got the first quad of the day, and QQ got a 250 coin chest. Hmm, that sounds kinda sexy.

She got one other one while I went to lunch. I had to tank up before my (planned) marathon BJ session.

I had soup and salad mountain and I have to say, the mushroom soup was amazing. And this is where I learned an important tip that I did't know before.

Can You Scale Salad Mountain?

While seated at my Single Lonely Diner table, situated just outside the slop room and kitchen entrance, I ate all of my soup, and most of my huge salad mountain.

Either the Single Lonely Diner table view, or the Joker's lair.

Just as I was stuffing the last of the coleslaw into my maw, the waitress popped by and said, "D'you want more soup?"

I was gobsmacked. In all my years of soup and salad consumption, I didn't know this was an option! I could have more soup???

I would surely have traded stomach salad mountain room for stomach soup room! In fact, I would have downgraded to a simple salad foothills.

That's the first important thing I learned.