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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

My Middle Name is 'Shnook'.

Day 2 - Five or six hours of sleep and we arose and started chores. First stop, liquor store. Second stop breakfast. That is so Vegas!

We were both feeling pretty rough but some ethnic food (Scot) probably would help.

The Quad Queen dubbed her breakfast a Greasy Crackwich.

We had a bit of a discussion about whether to dine in or take out. My argument is irrefutable. McD's hash browns must be eaten within 120 seconds of being cooked, or there is just no point. When they are good they are good and when they are cold, they are shite.

Obviously, I won, and we enjoyed the hash brown grease bombs in all their incipient glory. Tasty and deadly.

We trundled back to Mandalay Bay with tummies full of inexpensive calories, and a couple of bottles of hooch with which to foil the lousy CW service.

The ice maker on our floor wasn't icing, and the Pepsi QQ bought from the machine came out hot, despite the promise of 'Ice Cold Pepsi!' emblazoned on the dispensing apparatus.

I called Guest Services and spent 10 minutes listening to the most annoying ads known to man. Why don't these guys understand what it's like to be a customer on the other end of that horrid assault?

I gave up.

Then, I called the Concierge who transferred me to... Guest Services.

Fortunately, this time, someone answered forthwith.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hello!" I said. I was kind of expecting more of a greeting.

"Hello, this is Elaine."

"Hello Elaine. This is Flusher."


"Aren't you going to ask me what I want from Guest Services?" I inquired.

"Oh! Sorry, the call got transferred as Concierge, I didn't realize you were calling from your room!"

"That's all right," I said, "Let's start again."

"Hello, this is Elaine, how can I assist you Mr. Flusher?"

"Hello Elaine."


"Elaine, can you make ice magically appear in my room?" I explained the sitch and within 10 minutes, I had all the ice I could melt - and a free scoop to stash with my room camping supplies!

I'd had a coffee with my food at McDork's, and oddly, after all the prep, hauling gear around, convincing security agents that I wasn't smuggling fentanyl in my pound of coffee, the Little Giant went unused.

Instead, we headed down to the casino to play some more Jacks.

First stop, the MLife booth to get my $50 free play loaded on to my card.

And then to the machines!

The coffee I ordered there tasted like it had chocolate in it. The Quad Queen's sniffer came to the same conclusion.

It was like coffee and hot chocolate mixed. Not exactly what I'd had in mind, so I didn't drink most of it. Beverage fail.

First things first. I put $20 into the machine, and played my $50 freeplay. It's the kind that every time you complete a hand or a spin of a slot, it adds back whatever you bet - no matter what the outcome.

When I was done, I had $55 on the meter.

"Done. I made $35," I said.

"I want my half," said the Quad Queen.

Because we are combining results for the first time ever, she felt she should have half the freeplay.

"But I only won $35. You can have half of that. That's $15."

"Nice try, buster."

"Why should you get $25? That leaves me with only $10 profit!"

"You got to play $50 free play. Half of it is mine. I want my end!"

"But I took all the risk."

Then I realized that if I had won big - say I'd hit a Royal - I'd owe her $25 for the freeplay.

Flushiepants knows when to give in.

"OK, you win. Here's $20, I'll give you the other $5 later," I said, winking inwardly and planning never to hand over the extra $5.

My middle name is 'shnook'.

We played and my session went pretty well. After I'd had enough, I cashed out a $100 plus ticket. But the Quad Queen was struggling a bit. Maybe a lot.

She started to rattle around from machine to machine, trying to find something that would stick. She did send this one pic and that's all she wrote.

After that, things went south for me too. It was a drubbing heading for an ass kicking.

We headed over to Luxor and grabbed another burger at Johnny Rocket's for lunch. A double cheese burger this time. Really hit the spot, but I think I've scratched that itch for now.

I wanted to play my old-skool Buffalo machines - the ones I could do nothing but win on last year.

My foray into the gambling process on these machines was not entirely successful this time.

The Quad Queen moved on to the High Limit room and when I was done getting my ass Buffalo-kicked, I joined her.

The ass kicking mostly continued. Some days are just like that. This is the extent of my recorded activities on that front:

We hung out in the room for a long while and I got some blogging done. I also took about a half hour shower.

I absolutely adore showering in hotels that have great water pressure and an endless supply of hot aqua. The Mandalay Bay shower is one of the most enjoyable ones I've ever wet myself for.

We were still pretty whacked from the 22 hour day the day before, and a short sleep - so the downtime drifted on, with some drinks, and more computer stuff.

I decided to try a Prime Now delivery. We spent 45 minutes oohing and ahhing over all the stuff we could order and have it delivered in just two hours. We made a big order with all kinds of goodies that we could have for room camping dinner. Cherry tomatoes. Sour cream and french onion soup mix for dip. Chips. Bananas. Cookies. Deli meat.

It's such a great concept for travellers, particularly those who are degenerate fucking cheapskates know the value of a dollar.

Long story short - it wouldn't work. I ended up in phone support hell yet again, and the upshot is that their system won't work with my Canadian cell number. But if I picked up a cheap sim card and used the US number from that, they seemed pretty certain it would work. I will try to do this later in the trip.

We decided to make the best of it and see what we could cobble together from the emergency punishment cheese, emergency nuts, crackers, and the cache of pilfered condiments I'd provisioned - which included an incredible score from an abandoned room service tray that included two huge things of ketchup the likes of which I've never seen - 1.25 oz in each! - and the holy of holies, the same amount of Dijon mustard. This is not something you'll find in most food court packets of stuff caches.

I got pretty good at making cheese and mayo and mustard on a cracker. It was all pretty disgusting.

Toppable with emergency cheese. Spicy mustard a la Nathan. Chairman Mayo Aioli by Heinz. $7.

Mrs. Flusher's good as all outdoors room camping supper.
Having consumed calories, we headed back to the casino for one more go. I'd love to say I won all kinds of money, but it really kind of sucked. We couldn't get anything to work.

By the time the day was done, I was down my full $500 stake and the Quad Queen had but $100 left of hers.

And that was the end of Day 2.

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