Over the almost five hours that it takes to cover the quarter of a million miles to the moon, I've watched as its slowly grown from a tiny speck in the command module window, to something that looks like I might be able to land the Kegel moonar lander on.
Fortunately, Jimmy Poon made sure that there were some decent space supplies packed - dehydrated emergency cheese sticks, dessicated moon jerky, and dehydrated Tang crystals.These aren't the Tang crystals that earlier Apollo missions took with them and mixed with water for drinks - these are the government surplus dehydrated Tang crystals. You add water to turn the orange powder into Tang crystals. Then you add water to that and end up with orange windshield wiper fluid, after mixing it 50/50 with a decent pour of vodka that Jimmy Poon thoughtfully placed in the forward galley compartment.
There's nothing like Poon's Tang on a long space trip.
Jimmy also somehow smuggled a flight attendant on board, so I can fuck with the Apollo Yo-Leven computer to see if I can get the game on it, while she makes me drinks and brings the dehydrated emergency cheese and such.
When we get close to the moon, I'll do a retro burn facing British Columbia's main engine back the way we are traveling, to slow me down enough to enter moonar orbit.
Capcom (the Quad Queen back in Flusherville at the Flusherville Space Center, aka my kitchen) talked me through a moonar orbit insertion retro burn.
"Apollo Yo-Leven this is Flusherville. Delta house azimuth correction is plus 0.22, that is plus 0.22, and we do recommend the P52 alignment. Over."
"Roger. Reading you loud and clear. My moonar insertion checklist is complete - no abnormalities."
"Yo-Leven, Flusherville, We'd like you to cycle the fans in all four CRYO tanks and position the heaters in all four CRYO tanks to the AUTO position. We're doing this in advance of LOI in order to insure that you don't have any destratification as a result of the burn, which might result in giving you a master caution and warning during the burn. Over."
"Flusherville, Yo-Leven, roger that, please repeat with clarification."
"Clarification?"
"I understood nothing. Should I go pee before landing?"
(Static.)
"Yo-Leven, Flusherville, we'll handle the LOI from here, you handle - the other thing."
With all that sorted, I was in orbit around Moon Vegas and ready to attempt landing!
I climbed into the Kegel, closed the hatch, separated from the British Columbia, and got ready to set down - the first human to reach Moon Vegas.
Capcom (the Quad Queen back in Flusherville at the Flusherville Space Center, aka my kitchen) talked me through a moonar orbit insertion retro burn.
"Apollo Yo-Leven this is Flusherville. Delta house azimuth correction is plus 0.22, that is plus 0.22, and we do recommend the P52 alignment. Over."
"Roger. Reading you loud and clear. My moonar insertion checklist is complete - no abnormalities."
"Yo-Leven, Flusherville, We'd like you to cycle the fans in all four CRYO tanks and position the heaters in all four CRYO tanks to the AUTO position. We're doing this in advance of LOI in order to insure that you don't have any destratification as a result of the burn, which might result in giving you a master caution and warning during the burn. Over."
"Flusherville, Yo-Leven, roger that, please repeat with clarification."
"Clarification?"
"I understood nothing. Should I go pee before landing?"
(Static.)
"Yo-Leven, Flusherville, we'll handle the LOI from here, you handle - the other thing."
With all that sorted, I was in orbit around Moon Vegas and ready to attempt landing!
I climbed into the Kegel, closed the hatch, separated from the British Columbia, and got ready to set down - the first human to reach Moon Vegas.
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