Hello Earth from Apollo Yo-Leven

Commander Flushypants here, reporting in from Apollo Yo-Leven.

After one hell of a ride on the Heartburn 5 rocket, including successful separation of the first stage after MECO (My Engines Cut Out), separation of the second stage after SECO, jettisoning of the third stage after COSTCO, I'm ready for a space TACO.

So where am I, exactly?

Well, the Heartburn 5 lifted the Command Module and Moonar Lander into earth orbit around Pearson International.

Here's how the next part of the mission works. Perched atop the Heartburn 5 were three components. The Command Module, named British Columbia, is where my seat is. Behind that is the Servix Module, which contains drinks and snacks, delivered by a space goddess hopefully. And behind that, is the small ship that I will use to land on Moon Vegas - the Moonar Lander, named the Kegel after its designer, Professor Kegel, who teaches part-time at the Flusherville Vocational College and Beauty School.

"She's a solid, well built Moonar Lander," said Prof. Kegel on local TV, "with room for just one astronaut - it's going to be a tight squeeze."

Next, I'll pilot the British Columbia and Servix Module, backing 'er out of the space driveway, turning around, and then docking with the Kegel Moonar Lander. Then I'll fire the big Servix module rocket engine and fire all three hunks of space technology in the general direction of Moon Vegas.

Once I get close, I'll use Google Maps to find a parking spot in Moon Vegas orbit. Then I'll climb into the Kegel, close the hatch, separate from the British Columbia command module, and then attempt to land on Moon Vegas!