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Saturday, August 17, 2019

Luxor Moonar Exploration

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After being up for 22 hours straight, I crashed like a Tesla on autopilot - in the cornfield and out of power.

Next thing I knew it was 12:30 PM Eastern time. I felt kind of proud that I slept in like a teenager.

My offer at Luxor comes with $75 freeplay so I set about seeing what I could do with that. Since video poker had kicked my ass so badly last night, I went for Keno, which is a terrible game with a huge house edge. You should never play it.

It went pretty well!

I hit three five out of fives, including the same one twice. Pretty decent, but I am always thinking about that sixth number - if it had come in on any of them, I'd be looking at a thousand not hundreds.

Arrival at Moon Vegas Luxor and Ass Kicking that Ensued

What would a Royal Flusher Vegas Trip be without a jockstrap full of Air Fuck You Canada stress?

Every time this happens I say I'm not ever doing it again. Every time I blog it I say 'be brief, fucktonsils'.

Is it something from the late supper menu or is it breakfast?
Launch out of Cape Flusherville was delayed. And delayed some more. And then some more. Mechanical problems. The flight to Pearson International Space Station is an hour and five minutes. I figured if we launched by 6:45 and no later, I might be able to make my boarding time of 8:20. We launched at 6:55.

Upon reaching Earth orbit, I had to panic my way through Pearson and made it to the gate one minute before boarding.

I needn't have worried. We boarded late, and floated connected to the station for an additional hour.

By the time I reached Moon Vegas, it was about 3:00 AM. The Moonar Rover delivered me to Luxor swiftly and without any nasty tunnels, upon my insistence.

Capcom told me to use the Mobile Check-in kiosk to get my key. It had closed two hours ago. So, I waited in the huge line for check-in for half an hour.

My one bedroom suite here is very comfortable, and I dumped my space suit and luggage and hit the casino around 4:30 AM.

The bar was unkind. First of all, they won't comp Maker's Mark. Second, my card wouldn't work, so I got no points for my play. Third, I got my ass well and truly kicked, with only the one ice-breaker quad to show for it.

Thank goodness Johnny Rocket's (which I thought was a fitting name for this trip report's first meal) is open 24 hours! I got a double cheeseburger with fries straight out of the grease, and piping hot. I had that gutbomb back in the suite in about four minutes, and devoured it in three.

Bed at 6:00 AM Eastern time, which is a new personal record for me.

I swear, I am not flying out of Cape Flusherville again. I'm taking the Space Train. And if I can at all avoid it, I'm not taking the night Rouge flight out of Pearson. It's hard to express how hard this sort of trip is on the Degenerate Bones that hold up the Royal Flusher carcass.

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