Luxor Sunday Funday Up and Down Day

Las Vegas properties are big enough that you can keep busy and never go outside. But I don't care about 'outside' - there's no gambling there.

Given the psychic and physical beating that travelling on Air FU Canada had wrought, I chose to lay low and stay within the confines of Luxor.

I continue to be astounded at my luck on video Keno - it's just been ridic since I started dabbling in this horrible game that you should never play.

The thing is... I keep winning, and lifetime I'm way up on the silly pursuit. One of the things I like about it is that it takes no concentration, other than listening for 'hit' dings.

Ding ding ding HIT... ding ding ding ding ding ding ding HIT...

You know how it goes.

To recap, I put five bucks in a machine, played off my $75 freeplay and when I was done, had $325 on the meter. I played that down and cashed the $300.

And ten cents.

So, the day was off to a great start! I'd recovered the $280 I lost last night on asskicking video poker.

What to do with all that new found wealth?... More video poker.

But first, breakfast at the Pyramid cafe. I decided to try something new - an alien pyramid delicacy known locally as a "Breakfast Burro" - or something.

Luxor's Pyramid Cafe Breakfast Burro - It's Eeee-hah good.

First time I've had one - and it was fantastic. I'd had them pepper the inside with jalapenos, and the log arrived piping hot - which is a big reason for it being so yumster.

Business is so good, why have decent paytables or good odds on blackjack???

Pretty much the 'best' video poker at Luxor is in the High Limit room, since everything playable has long been gutted. You can get 7/5 Bonus Poker in spin poker or super times pay, and also 9/5 Double Double.

I opted for Bonus on Super Spacy Times Pay and wailed away for an hour.

I played all that out and then opted for Double Double Bonus, where I got the only quad of the day! Argh!

Nice 4s. No kicker, though.

Before I knew it, most of my day's winnings were gone. Actually, I knew it at the same time it happened. I knew it oh, so well.

My friendly old-school Buffalo machines at 40 cents a pop fizzled. Three machines, no bonus rounds until I was on my fourth $20 bill. Then the bonus rounds came like candy.

Unfortunately, the candy was the kind you find on the floor of a 70's Time Square herky-jerky porno theater.

Boy that came out badly. Who writes this dreck, anyway???

I had four bonus rounds, the results of which were: $2.40, $3.20, $1.80, and $0.80. Who the Pharoah's Phuck programs a sleazy EIGHTY CENT BONUS????

Saddened, but wisenheimered up, I moved on. To a Buffalo Gold machine. Similar result there.

I found some joy in an old school five coin reel slot. It brought back a lot of memories, and reminded me of how slots used to play. I did maybe 25 minutes on twenty bucks. Nice, low volatility.

I love the pidgin English of those 'times pay' machines.

"I MAKE TEN TIMES PAY. MANY MONEY. ME TEN TIMES. TEN TIMES PAY, G.I."

At least I got a cold beer out of it. Other than some last-chance Keno after converting my points to freeplay, that was the extent of my foray into casino gambling this day.

The suite I'm in is pretty nice, so I went back up to fuck around on the Chromebook. I've wanted to try out Amazon's Prime Now delivery service for a while, and this seemed like a good time, since I was losing, and since I had a fridge.

I'll write a report on it after the trip, but I'm using a US SIM card and accompanying service this trip. One of the reasons is that you need a US phone number on your account to use Prime Now, something I found out the hard way at Mandalay Bay.

It worked like a charm!

After a couple of hours, my good showed up. I may have overdone it.

Space Snax!

Punishment Cheese, and Redemption Oatmeal are in the house, along with Emergency Nuts.

I watched some television, had a couple of nice Buffalo Trace rocks-es, and snacked away on cheese and crackers, chips, nuts, a banana, and a peanut butter cup for desert.

It suited me just fine, since I really didn't want to go downstairs and forage for food. I don't take enough time to relax on these trips, typically, and this was a nice change.

It's no fun being in the casino when you have but six dollars in your pocket and no way of getting more.

Time to sleep on it and plan Monday's excursion to 'Where Can I Take a Marker' Land.